Alice and Doug

Going Terribly

A Improv and Comedy podcast Explicit

About the show

Imagine the most adult children you know – discussing the environmental impact of menstruation cups one minute and making poop jokes the next. That’s Doug and that’s Alice. Two friends who decided to Always Be Recording. He’s a filmmaker, and she’s a college English professor. Their chemistry is accidental. And so is this auditory compendium of their verbal musings. You are invited to join their lighthearted conversational romps through all of life's absurdities.

Newest episodes

Ep. 319: Two 120-Pound Boomerangs in a Mobile Baptism Service

Nov 10, 2026 1 hr 9 min

Today is Alice’s birthday! Enjoy some tailor-made games meant just for the birthday girl! You’ll get the music history test of “Original Song Lyrics." That's followed up with the trivia phenomenon “Which Alice Was It?” Finally, the classic “Semi-Recent Semi-Decent News” returns with some of the most semi-recent stories you’ve ever heard. And at least a few bodily functions in there for good measure. Obviously. Join all of Alice’s birthday fun now! Other discussion topics may include: - Detached malevolence - Can you live in an eagle’s nest over the Pacific Ocean? - If cicadas were the size of elephants we’d all drown - Fermented fragaria - How would you like to be mayor of Hell? You can!

Ep. 318: Two Space Poop Vacuums in a Wall of Buttered Crackers

Nov 3, 2026 44 min

Do you know what really grinds Alice’s gears? Do you know what really lubes her up? You can find out both in this episode. And neither is dirty at all! Though you might not want to ask her why she’s been spending so much time in her car lately. Other discussion topics may include: - Do you think you could be in the room when someone else is pooping? - The terminal of the C - Laboratory meat - Proper trash bag puffing etiquette - What if your butt isn’t compatible with space?

Ep. 317: Three Civil War Moon Sharks in a Thrice-Failed Utopia

Oct 27, 2026 2 hr 0 min

Halloween means Kevin Roach is in the house! It also means Poop Fairies, learning about the DNA in different biological fluids, and…murder via sexual exhaustion? Also, at two hours, it's the longest episode of Going Terrorly (er, Terribly) ever! And it’s definitely one for the (very spoopy) books. Other discussion topics may include: - Bidet evangelism - Boobies in Titanic, and other film twists - Mrs. Einstein Doubtfire- Plasticized body parts - Tears for Smears

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All episodes

The newest 50 of 323 episodes

Ep. 319: Two 120-Pound Boomerangs in a Mobile Baptism Service

Nov 10, 2026 1 hr 9 min

Ep. 318: Two Space Poop Vacuums in a Wall of Buttered Crackers

Nov 3, 2026 44 min

Ep. 317: Three Civil War Moon Sharks in a Thrice-Failed Utopia

Oct 27, 2026 2 hr 0 min

Ep. 316: Two Gigantic Fluffin' Mushrooms in an Old Spice Factory

Oct 20, 2026 48 min

Alice and Doug took a trip to the city now formerly known as Indianapolis a few weeks ago. They took in some comedy shows, a big-name play, and a trip to the zoo! And, of course, some great food spots. Including a barrage of food! Or Borage. Whatever. But the hold-your-breath moment in the episode comes when Alice reveals she may, somehow, some way, be getting tired of…7 Brew? Of course this sounds ridiculous. You’ll have to listen to see how that shakes out. Other Discussion Topics May Include - Why are there still open fields? - Dr. Pepper allergies - Sometimes a man just needs to be pet. - Free thinking vs. Conspiracy theories - Buckets of bread

Ep. 315: Two Reverse Burgers in a World War II Banana Shortage

Oct 13, 2026 46 min

So, where were we? Alice and Doug pick up where they left off last week with some more much needed educating on topics such as “What are the grossest words in the English language?” and “Why does Hostess make all their cakes sound filthy?” There’s also a reveal that, believe it or not, Going Terribly is in the top 0.05% of a particular statistic in ALL of podcasts. It’s actually pretty cool to be honest! Other Discussion Tops May Include: - Space poops - Unanswered questions about Curious George - Disproving Chinese stereotype jokes - Explaining snowballs to the uninitiated - Do you get an extra party if you’re extra born?

Ep. 314: Two Pork Pie Hats in a Vulcanization Process

Oct 6, 2026 46 min

It's National Mad Hatter Day! A celebration of...when people would wear hats filled with mercury and start going a little bit crazy? Maybe? Alice and Doug clearly have their hats on in this episode because it gets weird in a hurry. But they also seek to educate this week with the monthly "It Went Terribly" segment. Whether they are successful or not is anyone's guess, but the attempt is there. Other discussion topics may include: - Phasing out licks and sticks - The economic benefits of digging one's own grave - Mixing up Michael Jordan and Howdy Doody - You can't always get a bass clarinet - Hit songs about Olympic figure skater Elvis Stojko

Ep. 313: Two Fast Food Ringleaders in a Mid-Adam Festival

Sep 29, 2026 42 min

Alice and Doug recently celebrated Mid-Autumn Festival by shopping for and carefully preparing authentic Chinese dishes. But first, they celebrated National Cheeseburger Day by sitting at a burger joint for over an hour waiting for a Handful of Gentlemen (ahem) to present them with their meals. It’s all about experiencing a variety of cultures. Like, pirates are in here, too. You’ll see. Other discussion topics - Full cornea contacts - How often do you secretly record people in public? - Pig flavored gum - Measuring time in boats of peanuts - Couch writing: Inventive or destructive?

Ep. 312: Four Firm, Tasty Males in an Epic 16-Minute Narrative Song

Sep 22, 2026 1 hr 31 min

SIX YEARS. This podcast has had a new episode every single Tuesday for SIX YEARS. Can you believe it? This time around, Doug and Alice welcome returning guest William (will.he.is) and first-time guest Stephanie Osborne (FINALLY) to the podcast for games, chit chats, and jolly good times. And neither of them brings anything iron on this, the Iron Anniversary. Again, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Still a great time though! You know, all things considered, what with the lack of iron and all. Other discussion topics may include: - Did you know deer kept diaries? - Grandmas love Charlie Sheen - Weird Als and Weird AIs - The hit podcast “Alice Loves Anagrams” - Maybe it’s the Toblerone Anniversary?

Ep. 311: Two Time Traveling Rednecks in an Animal Husbandry Simulator

Sep 15, 2026 46 min

To celebrate yesterday's National Video Games Day, Doug and Alice play "Is This a Game To You?" To celebrate yesterday's National Day of Encouragement, they're a little extra nice to each other. Even if Alice doesn't like linguine, pizza, or a certain Bedrockian children's vitamin. And even if Doug has too many hot takes about vegan food lines. To celebrate today, they've been listening to "Amber" during their downtime.* Other discussion topics may include: - Eggs that have not been chickified yet - Orangutanese poetry - The misleading nature of double cheeseburgers - Are there professional tambourine players? - Random Goo *You get it.

Ep. 310: Two Caffeinated Lollipops in a Breakfast at Tympany's

Sep 8, 2026 53 min

Alice has a band gig coming up this weekend and also has another musical announcement to make on this week's episode! Here's a hint: it rhymes with Dorkestra. Doug takes us on a flavor parade through the streets of New Yum City, featuring blueberries, chicken, and...cottage cheese(?) in weird places. Other discussion topics may include: - Banana bread lovers : are they ew? - Concert pianist Buck Naked - Wanting cookies to taste less like sweet and more like chicken - Zombified Toucan Sam - What important lessons did the movie Psycho teach children?

Ep. 309: Two Alien-Killing Potatoes in a Mild, Manageable Illness

Sep 1, 2026 54 min

After three weeks of Taiwan talk, Alice and Doug are back to their regularly scheduled programming. Which, this week includes “It Went Terribly!” Which, this month, includes…plenty of Taiwan talk. Whoops. Alice comes in hot this week, mocking Doug’s video game choices. But by the end she’s humbled via an unexpectedly stolen segment that concludes with an animal that’s potentially become her greatest rival. Doug’s probably just headed back to play Brotato. Other discussion topics may include: - The infamous case of Dicky v Dyke - When will they finally release a record player for cars? - Looking straight up like a dead, raw chicken - Why fewer and fewer people are being ear poisoned now - Is syphilis the greatest pox?

Ep. 308: Two Little Aunts in a Seven-Story Taipei Mall

Aug 25, 2026 46 min

This week Alice finishes her tale of visiting Taipei with stories of chasing down English birth certificates, visiting IKEA, and, of course, using eastern toilets. Doug contributes a new game involving celebrity birthdays, explains why putting “Little” before a name upsets him, and has a hot take about…yes, toilets. Other discussion topics may include: - Childish Cardiac Arrests - How to stuff an ottoman in an overheard compartment - College nickname: Stares Forever - You don’t judge a man by the size of his pox - Should we get rid of urinals?

Ep. 307: Two Buddhist Shrinky Dinks in a Freak Piano-Playing Accident

Aug 18, 2026 56 min

It’s time for Part Two of Alice’s Taipei Trip Trilogy. During this episode Alice tells Doug and listeners all about the weeklong funeral of her beloved aunt. Doug has a hard time wrapping his head around some customs with which he is not familiar. This is actually a very nice episode about mortality, customs, and family that can educate a lot of us. But hopefully just light and juvenile enough for a typical Going Terribly audience. In loving memory of Gloria.

Ep. 306: Two Union Stations in a Birthday Cake Flavored Typhoon

Aug 11, 2026 39 min

Alice took a big trip to Taiwan this past week, and she's back just in time to tell everyone about it. Except that she and Doug don't get around to doing that because the trip back home took a day and a half and was filled with schedule disturbance after schedule disturbance. And, really, that's bonkers on its own. So that'll be this episode. Wanna hear about the Taipei trip? Maybe come back next week. Wanna hear some crazy tales while just trying to make it home? Well, boy, are you in luck! Other discussion topics may include: - Families who fly united or not at all - Can you poison someone in the ear? - When your luggage has business in a different city than your destination - A push for street view night time photos - Baby delivering bus drivers

Ep. 305: Two Crate Diggers in a Ronald Reagan Monkey Movie

Aug 4, 2026 57 min

This week on Going Terribly, Doug and Alice discuss some ice cream dishes that even they wouldn’t eat. Or, well, you’d think so. But Alice seemed strangely into a couple. Cold gravy on ice cream? She’s into it somehow. Elsewhere, can you distinguish Harlequin romance novels from old classic records? We’ll see if Alice can. Most important, it’s “It Went Terribly” week, which means it’s the one episode per month where you can actually (sort of) learn some stuff! Other discussion topics may include: - Hal O’Ween: Who’s that dude?- Did you know Dylan and Cole Sprouse are twins? - Oscar the Grouch's consistently delicious sardine ideas - How many fonts can you name? - Songs about crushes on friends' grandmothers

Ep. 304: Two Poutine Appropriators in an Indonesian Adventure

Jul 28, 2026 42 min

Alice and Doug are back from an Indonesian fueled trip to Indianapolis (Indonesapolis?), followed by a Canadian themed get together. It’s been some international weekend. Plus, Alice had two brushes with American Girl Doll fate. It doesn’t end exactly how one might think, but it does end mighty happily! And Doug is still really into Huey Lewis and the News. And jokes about meat.* Other discussion topics may include: - Circumcised candy corn - Pointy fragrances - Sucking chocolate off a Milky Way to improve one’s onions - The abject horror of the durian - Sharing more of your meat than you planned (*see?)

Ep. 303: Two Ice Cream Princesses in a Spaghetti Three-Way

Jul 21, 2026 44 min

Another annual Nation Alice Cream Day ice cream crawl has come and gone, and Doug and Alice are still around to tell the tale. What hijinks did the group get up to? What flavors and creations did they get their grubby little mouths around? Did all of the 30+ participants make it out alive? Find out the answers to all these questions and more in this week’s dairy-fueled episode. Other discussion topics may include: - Good old family fun vs. porn - If you see a clown get hit by a car, do you laugh? - Digsey, the Disney knockoff - Main Street: Vertical vs. Horizontal - Dairy Potter and the Deathly Marshmallows

Ep. 302: Two Greek Freaklings in a Chickpea Pasta Marathon

Jul 14, 2026 36 min

Alice and Doug just finished a heavy weekend of yard saling and record shopping. And now they’re ready for their heavy weekend of creaming. Er. It's the seventh annual National Ice Cream Day ice cream crawl! Yes, it’s just about time for the greatest time of the year. A day to enjoy all the tastiness that Ronald Reagan would have wanted us to. It’s true. Other discussion topics may include: - Why doesn’t anybody talk about how great Marie Osmond is? - Farting “regular amounts” - The sad part in a romance novel when the dog dies - What if one of the Hansons left Hanson? - The various health benefits of contrast therapy that can benefit your health and wellness in a beneficial manner

Ep. 301: Two Master Butter Sculptors in a Puzzle Palace

Jul 7, 2026 1 hr 4 min

Alice and Doug spent America’s 250th birthday watching a murder movie, saving a queen, and eating Japanese food. They also visited the animals they'd just eaten because the circle of life is really weird sometimes. They also got a boat over the weekend! But it's not as exciting as it sounds* Plus, what if you’re driving a train and you’re about to hit a person? What do you do? Find out now! Other discussion topics may include: - Pancake race lore - Geena Davis: Beetlejuice Creature - Dead skin snacks - Fake aquarium trains - Is it hard to gently use two fingers? *...or is it?

Ep. 300: Three Chocolate Covered "Carrots" in a Twice-Failed Utopia

Jun 30, 2026 1 hr 22 min

They said it couldn't be done. They said "But how could you?" They said "But why would you?" They said "NO, SERIOUSLY, WHO'D EVEN WANT YOU TO?!" But it finally happened. Going Terribly has reached 300 episodes! Even this week's special guest Kevin Roach immediately questions the achievement. But he also claims to have a boner ghost in his apartment, so who asked him anyway? Kevin joins Alice and Doug to rock some of Going Terribly's greatest hits and more juvenile humor than you could shake a "stick" at. Here's to 300 more episodes of barely growing up. Other discussion topics may include: - Mummy gut bread - Shark Dad - Holy fallopian tubes - Stoned dolphins - Definitely not a bag full of drugs You know, the usual.

Ep. 299: Two Indiana Hussies in a Macaroni Grille Funeral

Jun 23, 2026 42 min

Alice is back from a week away in Cincinnati, and she and Doug are determined to get this episode right. It may take them a few tries, but they’re going to get it, so please hang with them. Alice is bound to be a bit tired since she just finished scoring 1,600 essays. And Doug’s been very busy being not nearly as educated or well read. But he did just learn how to “exasturbate,” so that’s something. For better or worse. Other discussion topics must include: - Getting kicked in the stock for not STing the FU - Great anime, such as King of the Hill - Matt Damon's potato farm - The incredible fun of "Classic Works" BINGO" - Fine dining at GD Poon's

Ep. 298: Two Great Wholes in a Murder Trip to New Orleans

Jun 16, 2026 31 min

It's an unplanned tribute to New Orleans! The history, the culture, the sites! - You won't find any mention of any of that here. Instead Alice and Doug chat about Mardi Gras penises, drunk actors, and librarians who...love...books. It's really just like any other episode, only with a decided Nawlins flavor. Other discussion topics may include: - Why is cartography still a discipline? - Enrique Iglesias's spouse would never jump in front of a train - Roommates that only one person can fit into - Music that's not as romantic as you think - Is it still okay to fantasize about tennis players?

Ep. 297: Two Butter-Sculpted Cows in an Exploitation of Social Media

Jun 9, 2026 57 min

Alice, Doug, Eureka, and Hoover have returned from a week-long trip to visit Mrs. Shen. They had lots of meals - some long, some plentiful, and some of just desserts. So that part was a lot like home. They also visited some fun new museums, a waterfall, and saw…a vase of corn dogs? It was a real winner, and you can hear all about it in this episode. Though Doug didn’t get to see any dinosaurs. Other discussion topics may include: - Getting stuffed by one's cousin - The Proper Burger - Marks of a great seafood buffet, such as pudding - Supposed national "malls" that aren't malls at all - A pancake that will blow your nuts off

Ep. 296: Two Hollywood Squirrels in a Pancake Day Race

Jun 2, 2026 47 min

Yesterday was National Game Show Day, so today Doug and Alice celebrate the only way they know - by playing a super dumb game worth absolutely zero prizes. But along the way you might just learn something about sundials, sister cities, and midwifery. But that’s Alice’s part. Doug is really stuck on the more immature game stuff like toilet buttons and cow turd cakes. Alex Trebek and Bob Barker are rolling over in their graves. Other discussion topics may include: - Diplomatic relationships between Ohio and Spain - A Beaver-run childcare facility - Physical challenges between man and beast - A shadow owes you because you give it life - Touching butts for the greater good

Ep. 295: Two Sister Cities in an Informal Comedy and Chat Podcast

May 26, 2026 42 min

This week’s episode is all about debate. How will Alice and Doug’s relationship hold up after some devastating arguments? And how will the devastating arguments hold up when it turns out they’re pretty darn silly to argue about? Also, in a real “What are we, really?” moment, Google’s AI summary explains Going Terribly to Going Terribly. It’s pretty wild. For real, though. Is cereal a soup? The battle lines are drawn. Other discussion topics may include: - The longest NSYNC title - Ice cream cake is better when it has cake in it - Could God have been a shopping addict? - Absurd left turns - Would you like to sit on a comfy heated toilet forever?

Ep. 294: Two People, Places, and Things in a Blood-Filled Bathtub

May 19, 2026 41 min

The past two weekends Doug and Alice made a couple of fun trips out of town for very different theatrical experiences. But now they're back and ready to tell you all about the splash zones and crunchy gushers. Plus, ever wondered what Alice thinks of the Britney Spears classic film "Crossroads?" Now's your chance to find out. Other Discussion Topics May Include: - Does God live in the ocean? - Pork tiramisu - Boise is heated by its own farts - Convincing gibberish - Idaho? Or Youdaho?

Ep. 293: Three Conspiracy Addict Farmers in an Anime Fart Simulator

May 12, 2026 1 hr 20 min

This week Alice and Doug welcome Nick “Atlantic City” Gonzalez back to the show for games and shenanigans. Nick lets us all in on an embarrassing and painful childhood story involving a very sensitive area. He’s also subjected to some troubling thoughts about pies, beach flatulence, and…giraffe snakes? And his only reward? Some three-day old doughnuts. It truly is Going Terribly. Other discussion topics may include: - Puberty reversal - Do polar bears taste like Coca-Cola? - How to make Harriet Tubman into a ball joke - What happens when you tickle Elmo too hard? - Pretty girls and their universal GI issues

Ep. 292: Two Dangling Modifiers in a Powerful Stream

May 5, 2026 1 hr 7 min

Alice and Doug have a lot of knowledge to impart, and most of it is shocking, even to them! The English language is super unpredictable. Have we been using words wrong? Or are the dictionaries wrong? There's plenty to tackle here. Literally. Also, who would play Doug and Alice in Going Terribly: The Movie? Other discussion topics may include: - Jimmy Stewart was really good in Donnie Darko - Words that don't mean what they're supposed to mean - Absurd faces - Bunnies are squirrels somehow. No joke. - Chinese Taiwanese American Girl Dolls

Ep. 291: Two Napping Moose in a Reclamation of Feminine Energy

Apr 28, 2026 47 min

Alice has officially entered her Soft Girl Era. It's all cross stitching all the time now. But luckily she and Doug still had enough time to record this episode full of school bus stories and semi-recent semi-decent news! Also, there's a really cool Rosetta Stone story. Spoiler: Alice is kinda famous! Other discussion topics may include: - Smart underwear - How to still be illin' even when you're ill - Productivity kinks - Big Shaft Jerky - Can you get sick from eating farts?

Ep. 290: Two Wolf Teat Sucklers in a Pensacola Vacation

Apr 21, 2026 39 min

This week Alice and Doug celebrate the city of Pensecola, kinda. But what they really do is get nostalgic about kindergarten (and even preschool!). There’s also some mind-bending talk about dreams and a potential origin story for Doug’s mental health issues. And did you know Rome wasn’t *actually* founded by battling brothers who were raised by a wild animal? History, man. Other discussion topics may include: - Songs that encourage young children to steal - Alfonso Ribeiro vs. Steve Harvey in a dance battle - What if you forget your cheeseburger money? - When life wants you to be Thomas Jefferson but you’re feeling more Snoopy - Carbonated menses

Ep. 289: Two American Dirty Girls in a Scottish Punk Rock Band

Apr 14, 2026 43 min

Mrs. Shen finally came to visit! This week Alice and Doug recount the week that was, full of gloriously authentic Chinese meals, unexpected feline affection, and a very entertaining virtual reality session. Plus...how well do you know your state capitals? If you're like these two, the answer is "Pretty well, but not nearly as well as you think." Other discussion topics may include: - How Dr. Who helped birth a late night comedy legend - The audacity of western New York to exist - Can your cat accidentally be racist? - Umami vs. No, mom - Midnight snack eggs, but maybe not the gummy kind

Ep. 288: Two Mistranslated Whale Killers in a Suppressive Bowl of Corn Flakes

Apr 7, 2026 49 min

In this week's episode, Alice and Doug spit some apocrafacts at you, the likes of which you've never seen. There's seagulls and Metallica and eugenics and Andy Richter. You'll have a pretty full plate on your hands here, folks. And if you live in a certain northern Ohio town, boy do we have a great surprise for you. Other discussion topics may include: - Decorating with dirty underwear - Dr. Kellogg vs. Mr. Pibb - An orca's case of mistaken identity - Normal mailers - The cereal wars began in a sanitarium. No, really.

Ep. 287: Two Singing Shirleys in a Quick Speedwalk During Lunch

Mar 31, 2026 47 min

You’re on a rollercoaster. Would you rather have an emergency poop or an emergency vomit? No, this isn’t a rerun. Yes, Doug and Alice bring back this very important question 285 episodes after the last time. Does that mean there is a finite number of topics two people can discuss? Nah. They just like talking about poop. Other discussion topics may include: - Joining a movement to stop Daylight Saving Time - Seagull to seagull eye contact - Is Polish sausage actually popular in Poland? - Ribbed for her pleasure, except the exact opposite. - How to work your asthma off

Ep. 286: Two Flamboyant Wrestling Characters in a Coffee Rush Date

Mar 24, 2026 53 min

Have we, as a society, oversaturated on flavors? That's Alice's theory, as Doug presents another edition of New Yum City. But then again she also spends some time explaining why bronze medals are better than silver medals, so it's tough to say what should be believed. Also, Doug has a nut stuck in his throat, so sorry about that. Other discussion topics may include: - Easter flavored foods - South Dianne Wiest Asia Starbucks - Did you know Tommy Hilfiger is a real person? - The father of pro wrestling, George Washington - Ube matcha shoestring fries

Ep. 285: Two Depreciated Women in a Targeted Phishing Attack

Mar 17, 2026 39 min

This week Alice uncovers a possible conspiracy against her involving cell phone apps, AI videos, and a prankster of a shower drain. Additionally, she’s been to Bosnia, in case you weren’t aware. Meanwhile, Doug wonders what might have been if he’d only owned a pair of shorts in his teen years. Also, he recently read a lot about John Wayne Gacy and Shirley Temple Black, and is feeling kind of disturbed about at least one of those. Other discussion topics may include: - What are some things you shouldn’t say at a funeral? - A line Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale likely/hopefully regret - How to know if the video meant to train you about phishing videos is a phishing video - Supposed Canadian family - If your partner could have one superpower, what would you want it to be?

Ep. 284: Two Fried Up Chicken Kids in a Year-Long Promposal

Mar 9, 2026 46 min

Alice and Doug are here to celebrate Women’s History Month! Fingers crossed this goes well. Other discussion topics may include: - Carly Rae Jepsen would never kill anyone, right? - Improving the ambiance at the White House - Was architecture invented in 1918? - Giving one’s hats different personalities - The importance of normalizing girls asking guys out, because the guy can be really creepy

Ep. 283: Two Gents and/or Germs in a Bougie Ice Cream Shop

Mar 3, 2026 47 min

Alice and Doug have returned from a long-belated anniversary day trip where they had plenty of steak and visited plenty of unique shops. Maybe 25, and possibly 36. And why does Doug have a plastic fork in his pocket? Actually, we may never know. Other discussion topics may include: - The Fast and the Courteous - Drinks that might have mushroom aftertastes - How to trick people into thinking you’re eating cremated remains - Super ancient things from as far back as five months ago - Ice cream that may have come from a wood chipper

Ep. 282: Two People Who Suck in a St. Louis Tattoo Fest

Feb 24, 2026 45 min

Alice and Doug just returned from a St. Louis girls’ trip that Doug crashed. But it went really well, full of culture, art, and vegan Indian cuisine. Then they talked about the difference between sucking and licking for awhile. It’s not what you think, but it’s not much better. Other discussion topics may include: - Have you been unknowingly eating 130-year old candy? - A legitimate lesson on prepositions - Would you rather have a porn name or the name “Doug?” - Gummy fluffy little things - Puppets who tell you to do crazy things, like attend church

Ep. 281: Two Greasy Slider Fingers in a Guide to Seducing a Vampire

Feb 17, 2026 37 min

This week Alice and Doug recap their very beautiful Valentine’s weekend, full of friends, great food, very thoughtful presents, and their love for each other. Don’t worry, folks. While that might sound mushy, there are plenty of juvenile fart jokes in the episode. Other discussion topics may include: Classic rom com The Ten Commandments Squeak Week Can girls be detectives? Cappin’ deez nuts Which side of the brain contains crock pot recipes?

Ep. 280: Three Total Baldwins in a Play, or Perhaps a Séance

Feb 10, 2026 1 hr 29 min

This week Alice and Doug welcome back Wendy Brown for Valentine’s shenanigans. Wendy recites an article about murder and heartbreak. Doug teaches us about VDs. And Alice prepares to get her backdoor penetrated. It’s quite the Valentine, folks. Also, have you ever played FMKBKB? You may want to after hearing this. Other discussion topics may include: - Losing one’s meatball along with a noodle - A retelling of Twilight for a much younger audience - Things that are needless to say, but are said anyway - The 100% real life Jack and Rose from Titanic - Sweet Georgia Brown, so to speak

Ep. 279: Two Bad Bunnies in a Twenty-Somethingth Anniversary

Feb 3, 2026 53 min

In Doug’s annual attempt to get someone from Soul Asylum to listen to the podcast, there’s a brief game centered around their song titles. Is “Gullible’s Travels” a real Soul Asylum song? Only one way to find out.* Meanwhile, Alice finds that she now has three or four new old ice skating shows to watch in the future. If she can ever tear herself away from enjoying all the world’s fonts. Other discussion topics may include: - Martin Mull, but not that one - Catapulting from backyard to backyard - Gardetto rye chip ice cream - What bird looks like a helicopter? - Dick Button: For when you don’t have a zipper *Well, theoretically, you could just Google it, but ssshhhh.

Ep. 278: Two Single White Females in an Actual Edible Pie Day

Jan 27, 2026 55 min

Have Doug and Alice been chortling wrong? What’s the difference between “British” and “English?” Do some writers defeat the vice of heavy drinking by instead…eating babies? These all so many more questions will be raised, half answered, questioned again, and then quickly dismissed in this week’s episode of Going Terribly. Join the fun. Have some sausages. Other discussion topics may include: - Involuntary Kegels - Chuck the baby bird - What to do when your Virginia is showing - Biblical snowmobiles - The return of cloaca discussions

Ep. 277: Two Prime Mates in a Convenience Store Wedding

Jan 20, 2026 41 min

It’s Doug’s birthday this Friday, and Alice has brought him a special gift. What follows, somehow, is more flatulence than a podcast should be entitled to. Skeet Ulrich’s birthday also lends itself to plenty of immaturity, so a huge thank you to his parents for having him. Other discussion topics may include: - Favorite cartoon dogs - Henry Winkler’s unreleased duet with Miley Cyrus - How to pay someone to curse your enemy - The circle of life, featuring murder and potential animal incest…? - Lactose intolerance vs. Just eating more cheese than a human should

Ep. 276: Two '90s Zambian Teenagers in a Terrible Fundraiser

Jan 13, 2026 50 min

Let’s talk about poop, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. ...and poop. This week Alice and Doug consider what they’d do for money, share their Christmas gifts, and, perhaps most importantly, discuss some really crappy factoids. And Doug will still not diagnose Alice’s incessant flatulence. Get ready for plenty of jenkem, vagus nerves, and dung beetles in this one, folks. Other discussion topics may include: - Would you keep a diarrhy? - How diapers got their name - Floaters vs. Sinkers - Are hand warmers for external use only? - A great reason to stick a piece of transparent tape to your anus before bed

Ep. 275: Two Long Distance Workout Buddies in a Complicated Male Movie

Jan 6, 2026 1 hr 4 min

Alice has gotten so crafty lately! She’s settled in nicely to her half old lady/half little kid era. Meanwhile, Doug dabbles in mimery while pining for a well crafted sandwich. Also, it’s the 32nd anniversary of the (obviously unfortunate) Nancy Kerrigan assault. Doug and Alice talk about it for a bit, even noting the date of the attack. And it never even occurs to them that it was on this very day. It went terribly indeed. Other discussion topics may include: - What cookie would you name your kid after? - Very real Canadian friends - Are eggs just white apples? An explanation will be provided. - Legendary spoonerized composer Juan Jilliams - How to grow a chicken tree

Ep. 274: Three Maltese Falcons in an Attempt at Staying Famous

Dec 30, 2025 1 hr 38 min

In the last episode of the year, Alice and Doug welcome Jeremy Brailsford to the show. It’s an episode of stress tests, (somewhat) current events, resolutions, and … more animal-related band names than you can shake a stick at. It’s a long one! So toss on a diaper and settle in. Enjoy the show! Other discussion topics may include: - Choppin the corgi - IBPOOPN - Can you make eyeballs out of gall stones? - The world’s oldest baby - Peas mean something.

Ep. 273: Three Men Who Believed in an Epic Egg Nog Wrestling Match

Dec 23, 2025 1 hr 31 min

First time guest Mark Atchison joins Doug and Alice this week to share holiday cheer! From wonderful, heartwarming stories to nonsensical sequels to timeless classic movies, this is one special episode you're not going to want to miss. Other discussion topics may include: - Using the elements to play God - Gag reflexes - Is it okay to name your daughter Doughnut? - Drool marks - Please, Daddy. Don't get drunk this Christmas.

Ep. 272: Two Green Eyed Bug Women in a 2000s Soccer Movie

Dec 16, 2025 54 min

Doug has had some really weird dreams about Alice lately. Read that however you'd like, but you don't know the half of it until you listen to this episode. Plus, celebrate the 100th birthday of living legend song and dance man, Dick Van Dyke! And are Alice and Doug going to get a pet tamarin...? Other discussion topics include: - The 1940s weren't ready for homo sapiens - Hot take: Is it possible method actors aren't that great at acting? - Toy cigarettes - Where is Owen Wilson's Mighty Ducks movie? - The best/worst Frank Capra impression, possibly ever.

Ep. 271: Two Rented Carpet Cleaners in a Sourdough Wagon

Dec 9, 2025 50 min

Doug and Alice had a plumbing issue this past week. But while that might have been pretty crappy (heh), let's focus on the more fun parts of life - such as Alice's radio play coming up this weekend! Or Doug sharing news on new snacks everyone can go out and try! Or the fact that nobody had to poop in a litter box this past week! It truly is the season to be thankful. Other discussion topics may include: - Is pickle a Christmas seasoning? - The oldest book in the cheese book - A case for poutine pizza - Casanova squirrels - Stocking flavored chicken nuggets

Ep. 270: Two Kitty Surprises in a Half Naked Half Marathon

Dec 2, 2025 58 min

It's time for two months worth of It Went Terribly! And boy, is it ever a-propro in this one. Doug shares a story about an NBA player who loved (in absolutely no particular order) chicken wings, naked women, and his deceased grandfather - all set against the backdrop of the global COVID pandemic. And Alice shares a list of her favorite soccer movies from the 2000s, plus educates us all on the brutal assassination that started World War I. No, really. Other discussion topics may include: - How famous does one have to be to celebrate their death day? - Favorite strip club takeout orders - Taking down whole hogs - Underhanded pizzeria techniques - The Annexation of Puerto Rico

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Ep. 319: Two 120-Pound Boomerangs in a Mobile Baptism Service

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Podcast details

Created by: Alice and Doug
Status: Active
Latest episode: Nov 10, 2026
Episodes: 323
Release period: Weekly
Avg. episode length: 52 min
Explicit: Yes
Language: English

Links

Official website ↗ Apple Podcasts ↗ RSS feed ↗

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