Shannon Darrow

In Between Them

A Personal Journals , Society & Culture and Health & Fitness podcast

About the show

Divorce shapes childhood in ways parents often can't see—especially when they're in the middle of an emotional fog, fear, or in survival mode. In Between Them is a parenting podcast that brings forward the voices we rarely hear: the children of divorce, now grown, reflecting on the experiences that shaped them. Hosted by an entrepreneur and mother who navigated her own divorce with a newborn, this family dynamics podcast offers personal understanding and professional insight in every conversation. Raised in a traditional nuclear family but later thrust into a co-parenting reality, the host believes every story matters—because children don't choose divorce, yet they feel its ripples the most. Each episode features honest, vulnerable storytelling from people who lived through their parents' divorce. Some stories are painful. Some are healing and inspiring. All of them reveal what truly impacts a child when a family changes—and what helps them thrive. Unlike most parenting podcasts focused on legal advice or therapy perspectives, this show centers the lived experience of the children themselves, providing clarity for parents who want to make better, more thoughtful, child-centered decisions. Whether you're a parent, professional, or someone who lived it yourself, you'll find wisdom, compassion, and guidance in these conversations. Because understanding the child's perspective might just be the key to doing divorce better. If you or someone you know is contemplating divorce, or in the midst of it, these stories can change a child's life forever. To contribute your own story, please contact sdarrow@onward-mc.com directly. New episodes weekly.

Newest episodes

45. The Coparent Collective - Hallie & Kate Talk About How People Can Do Divorce Better

Nov 9, 2026 1 hr 2 min

In this expert episode, I sit down with Hallie and Kate — the two women behind The Coparent Collective, a mission-aligned partnership built on a simple, powerful idea: catch divorcing families earlier, before the damage, distrust, and negativity have a chance to take root. Hallie and Kate have each spent years supporting families through divorce in their own practices. What they've seen — again and again — is that by the time most families seek help, a lot of harm has already been done. Not because anyone wanted to hurt their kids. Because no one told them, early enough, what was possible. That's what The Coparent Collective is here to change. A few of the frames and phrases from this conversation that will stick with you long after the episode ends: "Spouse mind vs. parent mind." Divorcing adults operate from two very different headspaces — and knowing which one you're in when you make a decision can change the outcome entirely. "Voice, not choice." A simple reframe that gives kids a seat at the table without putting them in the middle. "Validate, don't commiserate." The difference between supporting a child's feelings and accidentally cementing a child's narrative about the other parent. Small shift. Huge consequences. The reminder that most "divorce issues" are actually parenting issues — divorce just acts as a magnifying glass on the parenting that was already there. The sad parts of their work, the big wins, and the parts that still move them after years of doing this. These moments are some of the most honest you'll hear on this show. If you are divorcing, newly divorced, or supporting someone who is — this is one of the most quietly important conversations I've recorded. Hallie and Kate are doing exactly the kind of upstream, child-centered work that I hope every divorcing family finds their way to. Every episode I release is one more chance that a parent may hear what's possible, do divorce better, and change a child's life. The Coparent Collective and In B...

44. Mike - 7 years old - He Asked To Live With Dad at 12 and That Changed His Life Forever

Nov 2, 2026 1 hr 0 min

Mike was 7 years old when his parents divorced. Nearly 50 years later, the memory is still vivid. He had an older brother, and when the news came, he was genuinely shocked — he hadn't seen it coming. It was the late 1970s, and Mike brings a thoughtful lens to this conversation on how the cultural moment itself — the rise of feminism, women entering the workforce, and the broader shift toward female independence — may have been one of the invisible forces reshaping families like his. His father worked for IBM, and after the brief unraveling of home life, Dad moved about three hours away. What followed was years of steady monthly visits — Mike's dad made the drive, showed up for sporting events, stayed present even at distance. The parents never attended the same events at the same time, but they both kept showing up in their own ways. Holidays were split between the two homes, but no matter which parent was technically "on" for Thanksgiving, every Thanksgiving was spent at Mike's maternal grandparents' house. Those grandparents were a quietly powerful stabilizing force throughout his childhood — another echo of a theme that runs through so many of my episodes. Life at his mother's home was less steady. There were multiple husbands over the years and two additional half-siblings, which created a different kind of chaos than the quiet absence of his father. And so at 12 years old, Mike did something that would alter the trajectory of his entire life: he asked his dad if he could come live with him. His dad shocked him by saying yes. Mike speaks about that single decision as one of the most pivotal moments of his life. He lived out his high school years with his father, and to this day he carries an enormous amount of gratitude — for his dad, and for his stepmother, who opened their home and made that transition possible. He is quick to say they allowed him to thrive in ways he isn't sure he would have otherwise. The cost, which Mike speaks about openly, was his relatio...

43. Vivienne - 10 years old - Her Parents Did Divorce Well. She Called It a Happy Thing.

Oct 26, 2026 48 min

Vivienne was in 5th grade — about 10 years old — when her parents told her and her brother they were getting divorced. In this episode, we get something rarely told on In Between Them: a story of a divorce done well. Not frictionless. Not perfect. But handled, in every way that mattered, with the children at the center. What stands out immediately is how Vivienne frames the news itself. She describes the divorce as a "happy thing" — because her parents weren't happy — and even at 10, she wasn't surprised. Her parents had been intentional about how they told them, what words they used, and the frame they offered: this is a good thing, for everyone. The kids believed it. Then they watched that belief get validated in how the family actually moved forward. That alone — the care around the words at the beginning — set the shape of everything that followed. A few of the things that made Vivienne's experience so different: She went through it alongside her brother, and their family pet traveled back and forth with them. Both of those details, she says, mattered more than people realize. Her parents started with a 2-2-3 schedule, but it proved to be too much. When Mom and Dad later moved to new places, the schedule needed to change — and here is where the real difference showed up. There was no resentment. No fighting. No demanding. The parenting time evolved based on what made sense for the kids, not on what was fair between the adults. Flexibility, Vivienne says, is what kept the conflict and tension and animosity from ever taking root. She saw a divorce therapist as a kid, and she is grateful for that in a way that she wishes more adult children of divorce had access to. The therapist helped her navigate her dad's remarriage — one of the harder beats of any divorce for a child — without the alone-ness that so many kids carry through that transition. As a young adult, Vivienne gained the clarity so many of my guests have described. She was able to get answers to question...

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All episodes

45. The Coparent Collective - Hallie & Kate Talk About How People Can Do Divorce Better

Nov 9, 2026 1 hr 2 min

44. Mike - 7 years old - He Asked To Live With Dad at 12 and That Changed His Life Forever

Nov 2, 2026 1 hr 0 min

43. Vivienne - 10 years old - Her Parents Did Divorce Well. She Called It a Happy Thing.

Oct 26, 2026 48 min

42. Shannon - Solo - 10 Things Parents Can Do To Do Divorce Better For The Kids

Oct 19, 2026 28 min

Over 40 episodes of In Between Them, I've sat across from adults who were kids when their parents divorced — different ages, different cultures, different kinds of families. And when I ask each of them at the end of their episodes what their parents could have done differently, the answers overlap more than you'd ever expect. So today, I'm giving you a list. Ten things — not from me, not from a textbook, but from the mouths of the kids themselves, now grown up. Ten things that, if parents going through divorce would actually do them, would meaningfully change what their children carry for the rest of their lives. If you're divorcing, newly divorced, or deep into co-parenting right now — this is the one to bookmark. Share it. Come back to it. These are not opinions. They are patterns I've heard again and again. Some of what I pull from the kids themselves: The surprising thing almost every guest said about stepparents — and why welcoming them in may be one of the most protective choices you can make. What the kids who were pulled into their parents' court cases wish you knew. The one sentence Amanda wishes someone had just said to her, plainly, out loud, when her parents divorced. (Spoiler: it's free. It takes four seconds. Most parents never say it.) Why Kelly — now the mother of an estranged son — sends him a text every week knowing it won't be answered. And why that's the model for how to show up when a child pulls away. The clinical reason Carol Barkes gave for why a single zinger between adults, in front of a kid, undoes everything else you've tried to build. And the number one thing, cited by nearly every single guest, that parents could do to meaningfully change the shape of their children's lives. It will not surprise you. It is free. It is entirely in your control. And almost no divorcing parent manages to actually do it consistently. Tune in for the full list, with the specific stories, the specific guests, and the specific tools behind each one. This episo...

41. Shannon - Solo - 40 Stories In. Here’s What They Have Taught Me.

Oct 12, 2026 46 min

40 episodes in. For the first time on In Between Them, it's just me. I started this show thinking I was starting a podcast. 40 guests later, I've realized I was really starting a listening practice — and the patterns that have come up, from people with wildly different ages, backgrounds, cultures, and family stories, have stopped surprising me and started teaching me. In this solo episode, I pull together the common threads that run through almost every single conversation I've had on this show. Among them: The "I'm fine" myth that so many adult children of divorce live inside — sometimes for decades — until adulthood or parenthood quietly unpacks it. The surprising role of stepparents, who turned out to be the unsung heroes of so many of my guests' childhoods. The parentified kids — the ones who were asked, implicitly or explicitly, to carry adult-sized things on children's shoulders. The grandparent anchor — and why extended family may be the single most protective factor when a divorce fractures a nuclear one. The triangulation and disparagement pattern that nearly every guest named as the most damaging dynamic of all — and what my experts, like neuroscience-of-conflict specialist Carol Barkes and matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman, have taught us about why it hurts kids so profoundly. The hard truth almost every guest arrived at eventually: the pain of divorce doesn't end when the papers are signed. For the children, especially, it is often only the beginning. And finally, the redemption that gives this show its purpose: the gift of this pain, when it's processed and named, is a changed generation. Nearly every guest I've had has become the parent they didn't get. I also pull together the standout insights from the experts who've joined me — Carol Barkes on the neuroscience of conflict, Lisa Zeiderman on the legal and financial realities of modern divorce, Sol Kennedy on the AI co-parenting tool he built from his own experience of "dreading the ding," Ashley No...

40. Craig - 7 years old - Two Homes, But No Home. The Father He Had, The Father He Became.

Oct 5, 2026 1 hr 1 min

I feel honored to have heard this difficult story from a man who has made a beautiful life for himself and his family, much different than the way he was raised. Craig was seven years old when the divorce hit. What followed was a childhood spent between two homes that were hard in very different ways — and often left him feeling like he had no real home in either. His father was mean, angry, quick to temper, and often behaved in ways that weren't appropriate for a young boy. And yet: at Dad's house, Craig could ride dirt bikes, fish, do the "boy stuff" his soul was hungry for. So he wanted to be there. And he wanted to leave. Both, at the same time. His mother remarried a man Craig could never quite relate to — and his mother herself was difficult at times. There was, in short, no consistent father figure in either home. Over the years, Craig's coaches became the closest thing he had to one, and he had no real-life model for what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. He describes his sisters and mother as loud; he describes himself as quiet. He often felt like an outcast in his own home. The pull between wanting his dad and needing to protect himself from his dad is the ache that shaped everything. It was manageable-ish while everyone was in the same region. Then his father moved to Northern California, and Craig had to give up his summers to see him — until he no longer wanted to. The relationship narrowed to phone calls, and his father was skilled at guilt-tripping across the line. When Craig finally stood up for himself as a senior in high school, it created a real rift. His father missed his high school graduation. There was a brief attempt at reconnection when Craig was in college up north; it didn't last. His father wasn't at his wedding. His father doesn't really know Craig's wife or their children. Craig speaks openly about the confusing mix that so many adult children carry: wanting a parent to be the parent, while confronting the hard truth th...

39. Veronica - From Russia at 17. Alcoholic Dad. Critical Mom. Two Divorces. Breaking Every Cycle.

Sep 28, 2026 1 hr 5 min

Veronica isn't a child of divorce — but she is, in a very real sense, the perfect adult voice for the In Between Them mission. She grew up in Russia inside a deeply dysfunctional home, with an alcoholic father and a highly critical mother. At 17, she came to the United States. Since then, she has navigated two marriages, two divorces, and the raising of three children — with an unwavering commitment to not replicate any of what she experienced as a kid for the next generation. Veronica is also a therapist, which means she brings both lived experience and clinical insight to this conversation. Her insights on putting kids first — on what actually needs to happen at the adult level so children come out of divorce whole — are exactly the kind of practical, compassionate guidance this show exists to amplify. One thread we pull on that you'll want to hear in her own words: her time working in nursing homes and what she observed about elderly parents and their adult children. The dynamic that plays out in senior care is often the direct downstream of how families communicated (or didn't) decades earlier. The way a parent shows up in a child's life reverberates for the rest of both of their lives — not just in the kid years, not just in the divorce years, but literally into how kids show up for their parents at the end. Veronica has seen it firsthand, and it changes how you think about the choices you're making now. Whether you're navigating divorce, parenting through the aftermath, doing your own generational healing work, or all three at once, this conversation is one to sit with. Veronica is trying to shine a light on how parents, families, and — most importantly — kids can come out of hard family experiences whole. She was a pleasure to speak with. Veronica does not have a book recommendation this episode, but she is currently working on one of her own. When it drops, I'll be first in line. About Veronica: Veronica is a therapist, mother of three, and two-time divorced...

38. Bella - 18 years old - When Your Parents Divorce at 18, It's Not Any Easier. It Still Sucks.

Sep 21, 2026 1 hr 16 min

Bella was a child of divorce — but not a young one. She was 18 or 19 when her parents' marriage ended, and in this episode she articulates beautifully something that gets almost no airtime in the divorce conversation: what happens when parents treat their adult children like confidants. The divorce came as a shock. Almost immediately, Bella was put in the middle. She became a bridge — the shuttle diplomat, the message-carrier, the one who knew things she shouldn't have known and had to hold them anyway. She quickly learned to suppress her own feelings and to stay "transparent" as a strategy for avoiding conflict — because either parent could react negatively to her plans, her opinions, or her ongoing relationship with the other. The boundaries she eventually tried to set were not well received. The cost was concrete: she didn't go to college. She went to work to help out. Her responsibilities shifted overnight, and the path she thought she was walking into as a new adult was replaced by one nobody had asked her to walk. Being "old enough" did not protect her from any of it — in some ways it made things harder, because everyone around her, including her parents, assumed she was fine. Even now, in her own adulthood with her own child, she is still managing the logistics of which grandparent gets to come to which birthday party. The middle didn't dissolve when she grew up. Bella also opens up about her own divorce and the ways her upbringing has shaped how she parents her daughter today — including her hard, conscious commitment to never put her daughter between adults or use her as a bridge, the way she once was. Toward the end, we touch briefly on the support group she co-founded with two friends called My Two Homes — a resource we'll explore in much more depth in a future episode with all three co-founders. What Bella and her friends are building is exactly the thing so many adult children of divorce wish had existed for them. Bella's book recommendation: Sign...

37. Expert Alert Sol Kennedy Built the Co-Parenting Tool He Wished For. The BestInterest App!

Sep 14, 2026 57 min

If you have ever "dreaded the ding" — that moment your phone lights up with a message from your ex and your whole nervous system braces — this conversation is for you. In this expert episode, we sit down with Sol Kennedy, founder of BestInterest, the AI-powered co-parenting app he built after living the very reality it now helps solve. Sol shares his own moment of realization — the middle-of-the-night notification that changed everything — and how a background in tech collided with a very personal need to create something no other co-parenting app has ever quite delivered. A few of the threads we pull on together, that you'll want to hear in his own words: Why the existing co-parenting apps often make things worse, not better — and what Sol built to solve the core problem instead of just recording it. The three features of BestInterest that made me sit up straight in my chair as he described them (and had me revisiting my own not-so-distant memory lane). Why "gray rocking" doesn't have to be a skill you spend years learning — and how the right tool can put you in a calmer, better-communicating place almost by default. The distinction Sol draws between a therapeutic mindset and a judicial one — and why the therapeutic path is the one that actually changes patterns over time. And the reason Sol chose the name BestInterest. (Hint: this app isn't really for co-parents.) Tune in for the whole conversation — plus a candid look at how Sol partnered with Dr. Ramani Durvasula early on to shape what BestInterest could become. Whether you're in a high-conflict co-parenting dynamic, trying to get out of one, or protecting your kids from the collateral damage of one, this episode is a must-listen. BestInterest is free to try at bestinterest.app. About Sol: Sol Kennedy is the founder of BestInterest, the AI-powered co-parenting app he built after navigating high-conflict co-parenting firsthand, and the host of the Coparenting Beyond Conflict podcast. BestInterest helps p...

36. Jarrel - 12 years old - He Became Parent of His Siblings While His Parents Dragged Him To Court

Sep 7, 2026 1 hr 16 min

Jarrel was 12 or 13 when his parents divorced — on the heels of a new house, new neighborhood, new middle school, and none of his old friends. His significantly younger siblings meant that from day one he was cast as caretaker. The new house never quite felt like home. His father was angry, and the small things would ignite him. Doors slammed and Jarrel would freeze mid-thought: was that for me, or for mom? He witnessed one frightening incident — no one was harmed, but it created a quandary he'd carry for years: he loved his dad and was unsure of him at the same time. His grandparents' place down the street became his refuge. He now sees the proximity as planned protection. At 13, Jarrel was pulled into court. He and his siblings were brought by their grandparents and not told where they were going. He was interviewed more than once, peppered with questions by adults wanting his opinion on custody. He asked for 50/50 — because he thought it would keep things equal and not upset anyone. He didn't get it. What followed was over a decade of bouncing between homes, ongoing court battles, and both parents constantly poking him for information to use against the other. The case didn't fully close until his youngest brother turned 18. Through all of it, Jarrel became the one who managed everything around him — parenting his little brothers, avoiding conflict, holding it together. His grandpa's apartment was the one steady room in his life. Before graduation, when the weight from his parents became too much, he lived essentially between his grandpa's place and his car. His depression got dark. Grandpa was, in his own words, always a light. Years later, Jarrel learned things about his parents' own backgrounds that helped explain the behaviors he had lived through. He emerged extraordinarily adaptable, deeply self-aware, and open about the work — because talking about it makes it easier to grow. His goal now, plainly stated, is to be the best parent he can be, and to give...

35. Special Collab with Ashley Noelle - Founder of Blended Bond. I Love What This Woman is Doing

Aug 31, 2026 1 hr 1 min

This is a special collaborative episode of In Between Them, featuring Ashley Noelle — founder of Blended Bond. Two different angles on the same mission: helping parents do divorce better for the sake of their children. Ashley landed on Blended Bond by living every version of a blended family a person can live. She was raised in one. She married into one. She divorced. And she is now engaged, moving into a new blended family. Every stage of her life has been shaped by the reality of families joining, breaking apart, and rebuilding — which is precisely why she was uniquely positioned to notice a gap that almost nobody was filling. When Ashley and her fiancé were bringing their families together, she said something to him that changed the entire trajectory of both her personal life and her business: "Let's listen to them and see what they have to say." She wanted to know what they could bring forward that was similar between the two homes, what needed to change, and what they could create together from all of it. When she went looking for resources to help, there were none. That was 2023. So Ashley built what didn't exist. About a year ago, she launched Blended Bond — a conversation card game and resource designed to help blended families build stronger relationships through intentional, meaningful conversations. The idea is refreshingly simple, and that's exactly what makes it powerful. The cards do the work of asking the questions kids need to be asked and giving parents an easy way in to conversations that are often awkward, avoided, or overlooked entirely. Everyone gets a voice. Everyone gets a way to connect that should be natural but rarely is. In this episode, Ashley walks us through her own childhood inside a blended family and how that experience shaped the founder she became. She built her business from scratch. She has nailed something basic done so well — and In Between Them listeners will feel it immediately: this is exactly the tool so many of us wi...

34. Susannah B - 2 years old - I Never Knew My Parents Together So Nothing Is Wrong With Me

Aug 24, 2026 1 hr 6 min

Susannah B was two years old when her parents split, growing up in 1970s New York City inside a creative family: her mother was singer-songwriter Carol Hall, the composer of "Free to Be… You and Me," and her father was a professional photographer working the same downtown creative scene. She has no memories of her parents together. Both agreed to stay in the city so the children wouldn't have to move between worlds, and when her stepfather came into the picture around age 6, Susannah felt she had a trio of support — three adults who loved her, even if their working artist schedules didn't look like anyone else's parenting. For years, Susannah lived by a quiet mantra she now sees for what it was: "I don't remember my parents married, so there's nothing wrong with me." It was, she says honestly, a very effective way to pack the whole thing away and not deal with it. She used that framing for decades — and it worked, in the way things "work" when you don't examine them. Then she became a mom. And a wife. And suddenly, everything she had packed away for so long began to unpack itself — not painfully, but clearly. The dots connected. She names how much of her adult processing has come through the lens of parenting her own child inside a two-parent home. Being able to see, day after day, the small partnerships and everyday co-presence she didn't have growing up gave her something she calls an invaluable perspective. Not sorrow. Understanding. The other throughline of Susannah's life — and the one In Between Them listeners will feel deeply — is music as healing. She has done the work throughout her life and has been unafraid to be vulnerable in all facets: fostering a child, adoption, having her own child, and every artistic risk in between. Through her songwriting, she creates spaces for other people who are in the hard stages of their own lives — people looking for a light and a melody to bring clarity and hope where there hasn't been much of either. Her childhood and...

33. Leslie - 6 years old - She Became Protector, Saved Herself at 16 and Again With Her Own Divorce

Aug 17, 2026 1 hr 6 min

Leslie was six years old and living in Argentina when her parents divorced — inside a family already navigating heavy loss, including the recent death of her grandfather. In Argentina, therapy is deeply woven into the culture, so Leslie and her sisters were placed in therapy right away. That early exposure to psychological language has been one of the through-lines of her entire life. Her parents were high-conflict from the start of the split. Her father effectively forced her mother out of the apartment and didn't want to keep the girls, so they left together and her mother hustled to build a new home. Her father moved back in with his mother — Leslie's grandmother — as the family reeled from all the loss at once. Her dad wanted his own life. He would later say, in his own words, that he was selfish. He became what many adult children will instantly recognize as a "Disneyland Dad," while Leslie's mother handled all the real, hard, unglamorous work of parenting. Her parents cycled through reconciliations for years, and each time home life shifted with them. Their parenting styles clashed. Her father was involved intermittently but didn't help financially. When he did something truly unscrupulous while her mother was ill, that was the end. By the time Leslie was 12, they had cut ties for good — by then, the family was in America. From early on Leslie stepped into a parenting role because she saw the gaps and could not stop herself from filling them. Her mother didn't want her to, but Leslie became the protector of her younger sisters from what their mother was going through and what their household actually was. She knows now that none of it was her responsibility, but she couldn't help but take charge. Attachment theory would later explain much of it. She sacrificed her teenage years mothering her sisters, and she was also the only child who kept a relationship with her dad — carrying that connection for years despite pressure from her mother and sisters to cut hi...

32. Steph - 3 years old - No Chaos, But a Disconnected Dad, Opened the Door to Blessings & Gratitude

Aug 10, 2026 55 min

Steph Clymer was three or four when her parents divorced — an only child with very few clear memories of the before, which she now considers something of a blessing. She had no intact family to mourn. In this conversation, Steph offers a perspective that is rare on In Between Them: a story of a childhood divorce that landed softly, and a life that has flourished around it. Her arrangement was refreshingly flexible — no court-ordered schedule, life just shifted a lot. Maybe, she says, that's why she's so good with change today. Her relationship with her father was more casual than parental — he was, in her own words, less parent and more buddy. He "didn't know what to do" or "wasn't comfortable knowing what to do with a daughter." Maybe true, she admits, or maybe what she told herself. With her mother, though, she was deeply bonded. Her mom worked a lot, and Steph credits that dynamic with teaching her the work-life balance she carries into her own motherhood today. Mom did remarry — a roller coaster of a shift with a new stepdad and an older stepsister — but because Steph's dad wasn't actively involved, life didn't get pulled in competing directions the way blended-family life often does. It became one new family, not two competing ones. Steph never looked at her stepdad as a dad — and she owns that. She was always going to be loyal to her mother, aware of it, and never fully accepted the her stepdad in a close way. She is deeply grateful that her dad had the wisdom not to fight her mom. That single choice, she says, kept the chaos out of her childhood. Now at 45, she sees the divorce as a chapter that ended, not something that stretches into her present. She can't fully relate to friends navigating divorce and co-parenting today, because she genuinely did not live the version of it most people do. Being a mother now has reframed the whole thing. Steph reflects on what her mom must have gone through parenting alone — no partner to bounce the mundane and the big...

31. Expert Alert Lisa Zeiderman NY Divorce Atty - Do Divorce Better, Hello Prenup & Savvy Ladies

Aug 3, 2026 1 hr 0 min

In this expert episode, I sit down with Lisa Zeiderman — Managing Partner at Miller Zeiderman LLP, matrimonial attorney, CFL, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst — for a conversation about what most parents miss when going through a divorce, and, more importantly, all the ways divorce can be done better. There are choices at every step — before, during, and after — that meaningfully change the outcome for the kids, the parents, and every future relationship inside the family. Lisa's core message is one of the most important things any divorcing parent can hear: they think they know what their kids are thinking and feeling — and so often, they don't. Kids get read wrong constantly. Her mission, in her own words, is to keep kids out of the line of fire as much as possible. She discusses how disparagement is a lack of good judgment. When one parent trash-talks the other in front of a child, they aren't just being petty — they're compromising their own long-term relationship with that child. Kids can't find community the way adults can. Adults leaving a marriage find friends, therapists, whole networks of people who get it. Kids have almost none of that in their peer world — and Lisa believes this is one of the most under-discussed realities of childhood divorce. Prenups are the "seasonal business" she never saw coming. Lisa is watching a wave of younger couples proactively draft prenups — not out of cynicism, but out of clarity. Many are children of divorce themselves who refuse to repeat what they lived. HelloPrenup, where Lisa sits on the Strategic Advisory Board, has made the process affordable and accessible. It gets couples talking about finances before marriage — one of the most powerful ways to do the eventual work of any marriage better. Her deepest passion: Savvy Ladies. Lisa serves as Board Chair of Savvy Ladies, a nonprofit dedicated to helping women build financial awareness and control so they are never left in the lurch or blindsided by the fina...

30. Mariah - 13 years old - Dad was a Stranger Until She Was Sent to Him. Mom Was Unpredictable.

Jul 27, 2026 1 hr 12 min

Mariah was just shy of her third birthday when her mother left her father — a Dear John letter, and Mariah in tow. They were gone for about six months. Then her parents reconnected, tried again, and that reunion held together, in name, until she was 13. What lived inside that decade of "trying again" was anything but simple. Home was tumultuous. Home was toxic. Both parents were struggling with mental illness they didn't yet have language for and self-medicating in ways Mariah wouldn't fully understand until much later. The role Mariah ended up in during those years is one many adult children of divorce will recognize instantly: sounding board. From the time she was small, she was the person her mother turned to — hoping, quietly, that her mom would share more with her friends and less with her. She sacrificed parts of her childhood to comfort her mother. Twice a year, like clockwork, her mother would unhinge and start planning to leave — and Mariah would get roped into the packing, the plotting, the emotional labor of an exit that then wouldn't happen. In sixth grade, Mariah did the math and realized it was a cycle. That's when she started tuning her mother out — building a shell so the emotions couldn't reach her. It kept her safe. In seventh grade, her mother upended everything for a rekindled romance with someone who wasn't Mariah's dad. Sadly, it was during the first time Mariah remembers feeling stable — she had friends, life felt good. Her relationship with her dad, until that point, had been the relationship of a stranger. He was an addict; he was always disconnected. He was always kind about her and positive toward her — but she was starved for his attention. Later on she was sent from her mom to go live with him. By then, he was sober. In those years together, Mariah bonded with her father for the first time, and she was exposed to AA and NA meetings that had a profound impact on her life — grace, motivation, and a template for staying clean in a family...

29. Amanda - 10 years old - She Needed To Be With Dad - Mom Wouldn't Allow - 50/50 Was Lucky

Jul 20, 2026 1 hr 5 min

Amanda was five when her parents separated, ten when they divorced, and about twelve when she started what she calls "split living" — an early 50/50 case before that was really the norm. She has no memory of her parents happy, and today she'll tell you clearly: they were never two people who should have been together. Life with her mother was chaotic. Amanda knew deep down she needed to live with her father, but she also knew her mother would never allow it — so she counted herself lucky to get 50/50. Looking back, Amanda names two things she wishes had gone differently. First: she wishes her parents had told her, plainly, that the divorce had nothing to do with her. Second: she wishes someone had recognized that the constant uncertainty was building a hypervigilance in her that still permeates her life today. Triangulation was constant. As she grew, she could see the pattern clearly: her mother was the instigator, her father conflict-avoidant. Sometimes Amanda stirred it herself as a kid, asking her dad about something her mother had said — and the fire it lit taught her exactly what happens when a child is placed in the middle of a fight she never chose. Because her mother saw her happy at her dad's, her mother targeted him — cataloging every way "he had failed". Even into her college years, Amanda was caught between them over money. Expecting a child to know how to stay out of the middle is a responsibility no child should ever have to carry. There became a calmer place with her parents and her stepmother — Amanda credits her stepmother with much of that peace — and one of her parents' most healing gifts to her was the sentence "we did really good." Sweet validation, she says. Amanda sees now how that childhood echoed into her adulthood: abandoning herself to manage other people, retreating because she thought her presence was such a problem. She stayed in her own marriage too long because she didn't want to be the villain in someone else's story — until she...

28. Cat - 14 years old - Divorce Did Not End the Pain - It Just Changed Things And New Pains Emerged

Jul 13, 2026 1 hr 2 min

Cat was 14 when years of volatility in her home finally came to a head — not because her parents chose it, but because her school finally made it real. The staff had been watching Cat, and they were seeing behaviors concerning enough to reach out to her mother. That call was the catalyst. Her mom got out. And Cat's own memory is that her mom had been trying, for as long as Cat could remember, to find a way. Leaving wasn't the end of the instability. In many ways, the divorce created a different kind of pain. Cat navigated rejection from her father. She lost a brother. Both parents continued to stir the pot of conflict from opposite sides, for years. The despair didn't end when the marriage did. Some measure of peace came only after her father passed, when Cat discovered a few items he had left behind — small proof of something she had needed for a very long time. But life with him in it was always hard. What Cat took from all of it is what makes this episode as inspiring as it is difficult to hear: she learned how to raise her own son differently, how to do better in the very places her own parents couldn't. Her story is hard in moments and remarkable in the ways she conquered it for herself and her healing. "What hurts the most isn't the separation — it's the shouting, the blame, the cold shoulders... What heals is choosing to protect your child's heart more than your ego." — Dr. Daniela Tempesta Cat's book recommendation: Embrace Abundance About Cat: Cat York is the host of the Recovery Catalyst Podcast, a space dedicated to honest conversations about addiction, recovery, and the path to healing. As a mom and storyteller, Cat strives to shine a light on these challenging topics with a focus on curiosity rather than a quick cure, fostering a deeper sense of connection and understanding. Find Cat: Linktree (all links): linktr.ee/RecoveryCatalystPodcastInstagram & Threads: @recovery_catalyst_podcast In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to...

27. James - 3 Years Old - Dad Got Custody. Mom Got 35 Days. The Men Were the Heroes

Jul 6, 2026 1 hr 5 min

James was three when his parents divorced. In an arrangement that flipped custody conventions of the time, his dad was awarded primary custody — because between his father and his grandparents, that side of the family offered the more stable home. His mom got 35 days a year. All of it was difficult, but Dad was the anchor. James walks us through what he calls the "hostage exchange" — the emotionally loaded handoffs when parenting time switched. His stepfather added some calm to the chaos, but the underlying relationship with his mother was volatile, and it stayed that way. Throughout his childhood, the men in his life — his dad, his grandfather, his stepfather — were the heroes. School years were unsettled: he never quite fit in, always missing enough time with friends to build the bonds other kids took for granted. When he was finally old enough to drive, the ability to choose where he was going brought a kind of comfort he hadn't felt before. Now, James channels all of it into purpose. He talks about the breakdown he sees when very masculine men are pushed out of custody conversations by outdated gender assumptions, and the concept of parental capacity — the idea that if you know what you're good at as a parent, you should parent from there, instead of pretending to be something you're not. And he shares an insight most guests don't touch: how children of divorce, when they're consistently exposed to parental conflict, can drift into suicidal ideation — and how much it matters to name that out loud, early and often. Through Lomender's Lodge, James has become exactly what his own tagline says: the man he needed, when he needed one. About James: James "Lomender" Wiley is the creator and host of Lomender's Lodge, where he explores masculinity and relationship dynamics through honest conversations and stories of personal growth — both his own and his guests'. His mission is to "be the man you needed when you needed one," offering a positive, authentic voice for men...

26. Heather - Toddler - Only Child, 2-2-3 Schedule. Friendly Co-Parents. But Wounds Still Showed Up

Jun 29, 2026 1 hr 5 min

Heather was an only child whose parents divorced when she was very young — too young to remember the before, with no real memories until the age of awareness, when she began to realize she lived differently from her friends. What sets her story apart on In Between Them is what came next: she successfully navigated a 2-2-3 schedule for her entire childhood. Why it worked is the part most adult children of divorce never get to experience. Her parents were friendly. They accepted each other. Her father's extended family welcomed her mother. Much of her childhood was done together, even when technically it wasn't as a family. There were still ups and downs — nothing is perfect — but her parents did this well. Heather connects clear dots between that childhood and the adult patterns she's spent years untangling: people-pleasing, abandonment fears, the low-key vigilance that comes from constant transitions, even amicable ones. Hers is the story that proves something important: even when divorce is done well, it still breeds insecurities and difficulties that go beyond the normal stuff of childhood. Being an only child layered on top of it — beautiful in many ways, lonely in others. Both can be true. That lived experience is exactly what shaped Heather into the toxic-relationships coach she is today. She sees the clear thread from her parents' two homes to the women she now helps reclaim their self-worth and build emotionally healthy relationships. The joy and lightness she brings to this conversation is a testament to both the foundation her parents built and the deep self-reflection she's done on her own. Heather's book recommendations: Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. About Heather: Heather Melville is a relationship coach, speaker, and founder of Healthy Relationships, where she helps women heal from toxic relationship patterns and reclaim self-worth so they can create emotionally healthy relationships. Known...

25. Kelly - 14 Years Old - Blinded-sided by Divorce, Went with Dad, Went a Decade Without Mom

Jun 22, 2026 1 hr 3 min

Kelly was 14 when her parents' divorce arrived out of nowhere. The oldest of five — a mix of biological and adopted siblings — she watched the family split down a line that would shape the next decade: Dad took the older girls, Mom took the younger children. Both parents had new partners almost immediately, and Dad moved Kelly and her sister four hours away from everything they had known. What followed is a pattern adult children of divorce will recognize: alienation by way of narrative. Dad made sure the older daughters saw their mother as the villain and him as the victim — and so Kelly and her sister protected him, took care of him, and stepped into a kind of premature adulthood. She didn't speak to her mom from 14 to 24. Her coping mechanism was work — she started as soon as she could, anything to get out of the house. The way back to her mother didn't come until adulthood, when Kelly reached out slowly on her own terms. Her mom was receptive but respected Kelly's boundaries — and that, Kelly is clear, is exactly why it worked. Then came the parallel she didn't see coming. The girl who spent ten years estranged from her mother is now, in her own divorce, the mother of an estranged son. It feels, she says honestly, like a kind of karma — and it has changed everything about how she understands what her own mom went through. What she's learning is hard and clear: when a child blames you, don't force yourself on them. But don't disappear, either. Check in. Kelly sends her son a text every single week. It goes unanswered. She'll keep sending them anyway, until he comes back — the same steady, unforced presence her mom once gave her, now offered forward. About Kelly: Dr. Kelly Barron is a chiropractor, menopause specialist, and sexual wellness educator who founded the women's health platform Tempesta. As host of The KellFire Show, she amplifies the voices of midlife women, exploring how navigating major life transitions can serve as a powerful catalyst for healing...

24. Ashlynn - Early Years - Mom's Full-Time, Then Dad's Forever, A Relationship That Never Healed

Jun 15, 2026 1 hr 2 min

Ashlynn's parents were never married. She grew up full-time with her mom — one of four kids by four different dads, in a household supported by welfare and church. Her dad was in her life, but shockingly not on her birth certificate and not until she was two. Her entire childhood was built on the foundation of two people who had never been together and never got along. Both parents spoke badly about the other, and Ashlynn has no memory of them interacting. The teen years were the hardest. No male figure at her mom's. No real sense of welcome at her dad's, where her step-mother made no effort to help her feel like she fit in. She carried deep shame because, as far as she could tell, all of her friends' parents were together. That experience fuels something Ashlynn has now reclaimed on her own terms: she insists on being called "bonus mom" — never step-parent — in her own blended family. And the two worlds she lived between — welfare and church on one side, affluence on the other — taught her something she now considers a gift: how to see across realities most people never get close to. In her early teens her mom moved to Florida, and Ashlynn stayed with her dad on a trial that quickly blew up. After an incident during a visit with her mother at 14, she effectively stopped speaking to her mom — and hasn't, in any meaningful way, since. Her dad fought for custody to stabilize her life, and she lived with him full-time from 14 through college. The trauma was real, but it resolved with distance, not repair. As an adult, Ashlynn can name something most people can't yet say out loud about a parent: she understands her mom's desire to control a situation that was never going to be controllable, and she sees the wound underneath it — but understanding has never been the same as excusing. Over time the walls came down through forgiveness — but, importantly, not reconnection. She's clear: there's no place for a relationship when a person's capacity isn't there. The throughl...

23. Becca - Early Years - Mom Over Did It; At Dad's She Didn't Fit - Disconnection Abounded

Jun 8, 2026 1 hr 13 min

Becca's earliest memories aren't of her parents fighting — they're of a quieter kind of disconnect, and of hiding, every so often, for reasons she couldn't name at the time. Her parents divorced when she was around three. In an unusual twist, her mom initially kept the family home, then later moved out and her dad moved back in. The same-neighborhood logistics made the back-and-forth easier — but the houses themselves couldn't have been more different. At her mom's, it was mac n cheese. At her dad's, it was filet mignon. Two homes, two worlds, two versions of childhood. The harder thread Becca pulls on is the disconnect she felt with her father — something she believes came from how much she reminded him of her mother. He was deeply critical, and she spent years chasing validation she couldn't quite catch. Her mom, meanwhile, was on overdrive, running the show so completely that Becca felt she missed out on doing things for herself. Two well-meaning parents, two different overcorrections, and a kid stuck negotiating the space between them. The redemptive layer of her story: her step-parents turned out to be some of the healthiest influences in her childhood. She had easier, warmer relationships with them than she did with her own parents. And later, the validation she'd waited so long for from her dad finally arrived — through how completely he showed up as a grandfather. He acknowledged that he had missed much of Becca's life, though he attributed much of that to her mother. Imperfect closure, but closure nonetheless. Becca is candid about the dots she's connected between her childhood and what she now calls the "successful failure" of her own 23-year marriage — and she beautifully exemplifies how she is consciously doing divorce better for her own daughter. A story of deep self-worth questions rooted in childhood, paired with the inspiring adult work of processing, evolving, and arriving somewhere she's genuinely happy with. Becca's book recommendations: A Goo...

22. Tara - Early Teen Years - She Loved Her Dad, But He Scared Her Mom - A Story of Grit

Jun 1, 2026 1 hr 16 min

Tara grew up in Texas, one of many siblings, inside a relationship that broke and rebuilt itself again and again. Her parents split and got back together several times — a cycle marked by volatile fights and an underlying fear her mother carried, even when Tara, as a kid, didn't fully feel or understand it. What she did experience, several times, was the middle-of-the-night pack-up. The quick gathering of things. The leaving. And eventually, a leaving they didn't come back from. The layer that makes Tara's story so powerful is the incongruence she had to hold: her father had a volatile relationship with her mother, but his relationship with her was warm, steady, and connected. She loved him. Trying to make sense of both truths at once shaped how she sees people, conflict, and family to this day. Life after the last leaving was anything but stable — the marital home, then the projects, then women's shelters, a trailer park, a string of apartments. And then the part that may hit hardest for anyone who grew up in financial chaos: at 16, Tara started working. Not only for a cell phone bill. She was contributing to her mother for family necessities, an expectation that was never spoken aloud but absolutely understood. That kind of early adultification leaves marks, and she names them clearly. She married young, and in the ten years that followed, did the slow, real work of growing inside a marriage — coming out the other side stronger, clearer, and remarkably self-aware. Tara's is a story of grit in the truest sense of the word: the quiet, daily kind that builds a whole life one decision at a time. Find Tara: Website: RepandEat.comInstagram: @TrainerTara_Fit In Between Them is a podcast about what it really feels like to grow up between two homes — hosted by Shannon Darrow, divorce coach, mediator, and adult child of divorce, featuring honest conversations with people about what their parents' divorce shaped, broke, and built in them. Have a question, a story to sha...

21. Mark - Nearly 2 years old - Two Siblings With Dad, Two With Mom, Then They Swapped

May 25, 2026 58 min

Mark was under two years old when his parents divorced — too young to remember the before, but old enough to spend the rest of his childhood inside the after. In this episode, Mark walks us through one of the most unconventional family arrangements we've featured on the show: a split where his dad first took the two younger siblings and his mom took the two older ones — and then, on what Mark calls "draft day," the family reshuffled again, with his mom taking his sister and his dad taking all three boys. It's a story that sounds almost impossible to imagine living through, and yet Mark tells it with the matter-of-factness of someone who simply grew up that way. He saw his mom on weekends, but remembers her as deeply present for the things that mattered to him as a kid. His dad remarried a woman who was strict but kind, and Mark got along with her well. What stays with you in this conversation isn't loud conflict — it's the quiet kind. Mark's parents never fought openly, but there was an underlying tension that was palpable, and he felt it early. He talks about the thing so many kids of divorce will recognize instantly: standing on the field after his games and watching other families gather and chat easily, while his own parents waited in a kind of line-up to talk to him separately. He just wished, simply, that they could have stood there together. In his later years, an unfortunate conflict at his dad's house moved Mark to his mom's — beginning years of living with her, and years of slow, quiet repair work with his dad. That repair was made harder by the fact that neither parent was a natural communicator of feelings; little things have been acknowledged over the years, but not much, and not loudly. Mark's is not a story of an overtly contentious childhood — and that's part of what makes it valuable. He's honest about the residual effects he still sees showing up in his own parenting: the ways he's like his dad, and the specific ways he's working to do things d...

20. Expert Alert Carol Barkes - Your Brain on Divorce, Why Parents Struggle to Keep Kids First

May 18, 2026 1 hr 8 min

In this expert episode, we sit down with Carol Barkes — America's leading neuroscience-based conflict expert, TEDx speaker, mediator, and consultant — to talk about something every divorcing parent or any professional working with divorce parents needs to understand: what is actually happening inside our brains in the middle of a conflict, and why do well-intended parents make so many mistakes? Carol breaks down, why our brains shut down under conflict and why that matters so much inside divorce — where the stakes are high, the history is long, and almost every conversation is loaded. She gets specific about the impacts on kids. When parents can't regulate their emotions in the middle of conflict, children pay the price — silently, and often invisibly, in ways that surface years later. The good news: parental awareness around their own behavior and reactions is one of the single most protective factors a child can have. Small shifts in how parents show up during conflict make an outsized difference in what kids carry forward. A few of the moments from this conversation that will stick with you: The zinger problem. When someone lands a dig — that perfect, satisfying comeback — the other person's brain literally shuts off. Nothing productive can happen from there. And divorce, as Carol puts it, is full of zingers. Learning to notice the urge and not take the bait may be the most underrated skill in the whole process.Be "conflict curious." Instead of attacking, ask questions. Curiosity is the opposite of contempt, and it's the only thing that keeps the other person's brain online long enough for anything real to happen.Perspective is everything. Carol gives clear, practical examples of why understanding how the other person is seeing the situation is critical — not because you have to agree, but because you can't move through a conflict you don't actually understand.Strategies you can use today. Concrete tools for staying regulated, slowing the moment down, and pro...

19. Vanessa - 3 years old - From "I'm Fine" to Honest: Absent Father, Strong Mom, then Peace

May 11, 2026 1 hr 4 min

Vanessa was three years old when her parents divorced — too young to understand what was breaking, but old enough to start building something new. In this episode, Vanessa shares the story of growing up as one half of a team with her mom, a stretch of time spent at her grandparents' house, and the every-other-weekend rhythm with her dad that anchored her childhood — until he moved away, and the distance changed everything. What was supposed to be a plan became space. And space, over time, became resentment. Vanessa walks us through the emotional evolution most kids of divorce know intimately but rarely get to name out loud: the "I'm fine" years, where she leaned on her mom's strength and convinced herself she didn't need anything more; the teenage years, when "fine" cracked open into anger toward her dad; and now, as an adult, the more complicated place of seeing all the missed opportunities clearly — while still wanting to know her dad as a person, not just as the parent who wasn't there. But this episode isn't only about looking back. It's about what Vanessa has built forward. In her own parenting and step-parenting journey, she's taken the hardest parts of her childhood and turned them into a blueprint: keep the calm, keep the peace, and protect the kids from the noise the adults create. She and her family have laid a strong foundation between blended households, learned that flexibility almost always creates a better outcome than rigidity, and built a one-of-a-kind parenting time schedule that genuinely works for everyone involved — kids included. Tune in for Vanessa's childhood story and so much more — there's a lot to learn here about absent fathers and what reconnection can (and can't) look like later in life, but also about married life, blended family dynamics, and how everything from back then has been carried forward to make her stronger, softer, and more aware in the life she's living now. Connect with Vanessa's Business: Instagram: @abranchandcord...

18. Rashelle - 15 years old - The Conflict Was Front and Center, She Protected the Littles

May 4, 2026 1 hr 18 min

The Long Shadow of a Divided Home: Rashelle's Story When Rashelle was just 5 years old, she lost her biological father. By 6, her mom had remarried, and by 15, that marriage was ending too. But the divorce itself wasn't the hardest part — it was everything that came with it. A house filled with constant fighting. The instinctive, bone-deep urge to shield her two younger siblings from the storm. The quiet weight of being the oldest in a home where the adults couldn't hold it together. In this episode, Rashelle takes us back to moments that still sting — like senior night, when her parents struggled to stand together to take a single photo with her. That animosity didn't fade with time. Now in her 40s, she still can't mention one parent in front of the other without everything going sideways. But this is where her story turns. Rashelle opens up about how the pain of her childhood became the blueprint for one of the most intentional choices of her adult life: building a united co-parenting front with her ex-husband for their daughter. It isn't always easy. There are hard days, hard conversations, and moments where it would be easier to let the wall go up. But Rashelle does the work — every single time — because she's giving her daughter the very thing she longed for and never received: two parents who can stand together, even after standing apart. Connect with Rashelle: Instagram: @realtorrashelleRealtor serving the Willamette Valley, OregonListen to her podcast, The Realtor Who Wines, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Book Recommendation from this episode: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins Takeaways Family dynamics impact childhoodManaging parental conflict as a childLong-lasting impact of parental divorce Impact of Divorce on Parent-Child RelationshipsParenting Through Divorce Setting BoundariesLetting Go of Control Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background05:54 Impact of Parental Divorce14:51 Coping Strategies and Impact20:57 Parental Conflict and Impact on Relati...

17. Expert Alert Ilian Alchehayed - Family Law Attorney in Orange County, CA - Keeping Kids First

Apr 27, 2026 1 hr 30 min

In this episode, Ilian Alchehayed, a Certified Family Law Specialist in Orange County, California, shares insights from his experience working with families navigating divorce. He explores the challenges parents face during separation and emphasizes why understanding the impact on children is essential. Ilian discusses how parenting time schedules have shifted over the years—from flexible arrangements to more structured and rigid systems—and what that means for families today. He highlights the importance of truly putting children first, noting that outcomes for kids are closely tied to the decisions and behaviors of their parents. He also breaks down how divorce affects children differently depending on their age, and why greater awareness of these developmental differences can help parents better support their kids through the transition. The conversation dives into the realities of co-parenting, including common pitfalls and strategies for doing it effectively. Ilian shares real-world examples of how fear-driven decisions can negatively impact children—and how parents can instead make thoughtful, child-centered choices. Ultimately, Ilian reinforces that while divorce is difficult, children can adapt and even thrive when parents remain intentional, cooperative, and focused on their well-being. Ilian practices at Tustin Law Group. He also recommends the book The Whole-Brain Child as a valuable resource for parents seeking to better understand and support their children at various stages of development. For information on this podcast or if you want to be a guest you can find more details at my website. Takeaways Certified Family Law SpecialistImpact of Divorce on Children Parenting after divorceImpact of divorce on children Chapters 00:00 Becoming a Certified Family Law Specialist10:28 The Evolution of Parenting Time and Parenting Schedules36:48 Co-Parenting and Parenting Styles51:39 Parenting After Divorce01:04:09 Co-Parenting and Child Support01:19:13 The...

16. Carly - Part 3 - The Final - A Mother's Reflections on Her Divorce for Daughter & Stepdaughter

Apr 20, 2026 1 hr 13 min

Carly is the mother of Kate (episode 14) and stepmother to Sydney (episode 15) and in this episode she reflects on their episodes and what she heard, what surprised her and what resonated with her. She covers a wide range of topics, including her own speech pathology and how that impacted her step-parenting, personal experiences with illness and parenting, her divorce, difficult co-parenting and positive step-parenting. Takeaways Resilience and support play a crucial role in recovery and coping with life-changing experiences.Step-parenting and co-parenting dynamics have a significant impact on children and their perspectives. Respectful co-parenting relationships are crucial for the well-being of children.Parental support and independence play a significant role in children's development. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background05:08 Impact on Children During Illness10:27 Impact of Divorce on Children16:58 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Dynamics23:05 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Dynamics with Teenagers28:42 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Reflections on Parenting34:33 Step-Parenting and Co-Parenting Challenges and Responsibilities47:21 Navigating Co-Parenting Relationships53:50 Parental Influence and Independence01:03:12 Reflections on Parenting and Co-Parenting01:26:49 Community Support and Impact on Children

15. Sydney - 5 years old - Part 2 of 3 - Stepmom was More Pivotal than Mom in Many Ways

Apr 13, 2026 1 hr 2 min

Sydney shares the story of growing up through two pivotal family transitions—her parents’ divorce and the arrival of a stepmother who would become a defining figure in her life. She reflects on the early years of that relationship, the bond they built before her half-siblings were born, and how that connection later unraveled as her father and stepmother went through their own divorce—marking a second major upheaval in her childhood. In the midst of that instability, Sydney stepped into a caregiving role for her younger step-siblings while navigating difficult and sometimes inappropriate dynamics at home. She also explores how her stepmother became a key advocate in understanding her ADHD diagnosis—support that has evolved into a strong and lasting relationship they still share today. Sydney speaks candidly about the ways she sought her father’s attention by molding herself around his interests, and the lasting impact that had on her sense of self. She also reflects on how financial stress and communication within her family shaped her beliefs and behaviors in adulthood, particularly in her own marriage. Ultimately, Sydney’s story is one of resilience and self-awareness—illustrating how childhood experiences can both challenge and motivate us. Today, she maintains close relationships with her mother, stepmother, and siblings, and uses the insight she’s gained to guide her decisions and embrace the growth that came from it all. Takeaways Impact of divorce on childhood memoriesRole of step-parent in coping and support The impact of divorce on children is long-lasting and can influence their adult life and relationships.Positive parental interactions and involvement are crucial for mitigating the impact of divorce on children. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Personal Background06:05 Financial Impact of Divorce21:32 Transition and Changes in Custody32:52 Therapy and Coping Mechanisms42:41 Parental Relationships and Impact on Children56:02 Coping with Divorce and Car...

14. Kate - 3 years old - Part 1 of a 3-part series, Young and Aware, But Still A Lot to Learn

Apr 6, 2026 34 min

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series featuring a daughter, stepdaughter, and mother reflecting on their shared and overlapping childhood experiences. In this episode, Kate—17 and preparing to graduate high school—shares her perspective on growing up in a split household, beginning with her parents’ divorce when she was just three years old. With honesty and insight, she explores what it was like to have no memory of her parents together, and how early she realized her family looked different from others around her. Kate opens up about the challenges of transitioning between two homes, explaining how frequent switches were especially difficult when she was younger, and how moving to a week-on/week-off schedule as a teenager brought some relief—while still presenting its own struggles. She also speaks candidly about the impact of her parents having no contact with each other, and how that often left her feeling caught in the middle. It’s something she reflects on deeply, offering thoughtful advice to parents navigating co-parenting dynamics and strongly advises against this dynamic. The conversation also touches on the logistical challenges of living between homes—especially when one parent lives much farther from school—and how that can affect a child’s daily life. Kate closes the episode by sharing how her upbringing has shaped her views on relationships, dating, and marriage. With intention and clarity, she expresses her hope to build a lasting marriage—something deeply influenced by her own family experience. This episode is a powerful, personal look at divorce through the eyes of a child who lived it—and is now making meaning of it as she steps into adulthood. Takeaways Impact of Divorce on ChildrenParental CommunicationPersonal Growth and Reflection Chapters 00:00 Early Years and Realization06:00 Parental Communication and Relationships11:49 Parental Involvement and Co-parenting24:47 Reflection on Future Relationships

13. Dustina - 5 years old - So Many People Came and Went, Not To Mention Her Bedroom Furniture

Mar 30, 2026 1 hr 10 min

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Dustina Hall opens up about her experience growing up in a divorced family marked by instability, emotional strain, and complex family dynamics. From being placed in the middle of her parents’ conflict at a young age to navigating her father’s revolving door of relationships—and the constant uncertainty that came with it—Dustina shares how these experiences shaped her sense of safety and belonging. She also speaks candidly about her mother’s struggles with mental illness and how that contributed to an unpredictable home environment. Carrying the weight of these challenges into her own life, Dustina reflects on developing an “always waiting for the other shoe to drop” mentality, as well as her battle with an eating disorder. Through it all, Dustina’s story is one of resilience, growth, and healing. She offers thoughtful insight into the lasting impact divorce can have on children, while emphasizing the critical role of empathy, stability, and open communication in co-parenting relationships. Now a step-parent herself, Dustina shares how her childhood experiences have informed a healthier, more intentional approach to parenting—one she is deeply proud of. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that even in the face of dysfunction, it is possible to break cycles, create safety, and build stronger, more compassionate family connections. Takeaways Senior living advisors provide valuable support to families and seniors during the transition to assisted living and care facilities.The impact of divorce on children can be profound, leading to a lack of stability, predictability, and safety in their lives. ResilienceImpact of Divorce on Children Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Career as a Senior Living Advisor09:12 Realization of Non-Normative Family Structure30:01 Trauma and Abuse in the Family35:07 Navigating a Split Household41:21 Impact of Divorce on Children01:02:50 Healing and Values

12. Devin - 5 years old - With Dad After Mom Went to Jail - A Rocky Road But He Has Made Good

Mar 23, 2026 1 hr 6 min

In this episode, Devin reflects on life after his parents’ divorce when he was just five or six years old, growing up alongside his younger brother. He shares what it was like navigating childhood primarily with his dad, especially during a period when his mom disappeared and later resurfaced, facing time in jail. Devin opens up about the early years of moving back and forth between parents, and how a series of major life events eventually led him to live full-time with his dad. He speaks candidly about seeing his mom intermittently, and how her later relationship with his stepfather brought additional challenges and emotional strain. With striking self-awareness, Devin connects his childhood experiences to the person he is today. Now a teacher, he explains how those formative years allow him to connect with students on a deeper level—offering empathy, presence, and understanding that might not have been possible otherwise. Throughout the conversation, Devin highlights the growth, accountability, and perspective he’s gained from navigating difficult circumstances. His story is a powerful reflection on resilience, self-discovery, and the lasting impact of childhood experiences. Takeaways Impact of Divorce on ChildrenCoping Mechanisms for Children of Divorce ResilienceParental Impact Chapters 00:00 Parental Response and Coping Mechanisms31:35 Early Family Dynamics and Stepfather Influence38:01 Relationship with Parents as an Adult43:37 Navigating Adulthood and Coping Mechanisms58:48 Book Recommendations and Personal Interests

11. Tysen - 8th grade - Her New Life Felt Normal - Thanks to Friends Going Through It Too

Mar 16, 2026 33 min

Tyson shares how her parents’ divorce in eighth grade felt surprisingly normal. With several relatives already divorced and family friends going through the same thing at the time, the transition into a new family dynamic felt easier and smoother than it might have otherwise. She reflects on how her parents’ ability to remain cordial with one another played a major role in keeping life peaceful and stable. While there was never a clear explanation for the divorce—only speculation about a possible affair—her parents continued to maintain a respectful relationship that carried into her adulthood. Their cooperation helped make important milestones like college and marriage feel supported and manageable. Looking back, Tyson acknowledges that some of her parents’ choices may have had more complicated effects on her sibling than on her. Still, her story highlights how parents who keep their adult conflicts separate from their parenting can create a sense of stability for their children, even during major family changes. Takeaways Supportive friendshipsCordial co-parenting Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background07:02 Tandem Divorcing22:56 Impact on Children

10. Nicole - 11 years old - Divorce Devastated Her…But the Grace Her Parents Showed Inspires

Mar 9, 2026 50 min

Nicole shares the story of how her parents’ divorce came as a complete shock. Neither she nor her older siblings saw it coming, and the news left her feeling devastated and confused. In the immediate aftermath, Nicole struggled with feelings of embarrassment, as though the divorce reflected something about her or her family. During that difficult time, she found comfort in the support of friends. Fortunately, her parents made a conscious choice that would shape her experience in a powerful way—they remained respectful and friendly with each other. Despite their separation, they showed remarkable grace and commitment to co-parenting, setting aside their own emotions to preserve a sense of family for the sake of their children. Nicole reflects deeply on how the divorce affected her, especially as it coincided with other losses during her teenage years. As she grew older, she began to see her parents not just as parents, but as people. Learning more about their experiences and circumstances as a young adult shifted her perspective and allowed her to view the divorce through a more compassionate lens. Now in her second marriage, Nicole shares how those early experiences have followed her into adulthood and shaped the way she views relationships today. Looking back, she feels incredibly fortunate that her parents chose decency, respect, and peace in the years that followed—sparring her and her siblings from deeper, lasting conflict and showing her that even in separation, family can still be held together with care and grace. Takeaways Impact of Divorce on ChildrenParental RelationshipsEmotional Impact of Family DynamicsParental Communication Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background08:21 Adolescent Years and Emotional Struggles20:19 Understanding the Impact as an Adult25:46 Revelation and Reflection31:50 Family Reactions and Relationships37:48 Parental Responsibility and Impact48:24 Hope and Resilience

9. Doug - 5 years old - Multiple Divorces Leave Lasting Fractures that Echo into Adulthood

Mar 2, 2026 1 hr 20 min

In this episode, Doug shares the story of his childhood shaped by divorce, remarriage, and divorce again. He reflects on how he and his brothers each processed their parents’ separation differently, and what it was like to welcome loving step-parents into their lives—only to lose them to more divorce. Doug opens up about the quiet grief of losing great step-parents, how he fought to stay connected, and how living between two vastly different financial households shaped his mindset around money and security. Through the twists, instability, and deeply scarring moments of his first 18 years, Doug reveals how repeated loss leaves lasting fragments that carry into adulthood. He speaks candidly about what his relationships look like today—with his parents, brothers, and step-siblings—and why unrecognized childhood impacts don’t simply fade with time. His story is a powerful reminder that working to understand your past is the key to building a healthier, more intentional future. Chapters 00:00 Early Life and Parental Divorce05:55 Parental Relationships and Their Effect on Siblings27:16 Parental Issues and their Impacts on Children39:47 The Role of Step-Parents50:40 Navigating Relationships Without a Template56:08 Impact on Self-Worth and Relationships01:09:02 Reconnecting with Father and Conflict Resolution

8. Angie - 4 years old - She Took Care of Herself as Long as She Can Remember and Flew The Coop Fast

Feb 23, 2026 54 min

Angie opens up about how her parents’ divorce shaped her childhood—and how those early experiences echoed into her adult relationships with both of her parents. She reflects on the pain, resilience, and unexpected gifts that came from growing up between two very different households, including the powerful role of step-parents, the impact of parental communication (or lack thereof), and how outside influences can deeply affect a child’s sense of stability. While she would never minimize some of the hardships and turmoil, Angie shares why she wouldn’t trade the lessons it taught her, how it forged her resilience, and how peace in one home versus turmoil in another guided her life decisions at 18 and beyond. This episode shines a compassionate light on the lasting effects of divorce on children—and Angie’s hope that parents truly understand the weight of their choices. Takeaways Impact of divorce on childrenParental communication and unity - the need for kids to know somethingInfluence of external parties - positive and negativeResilience and coping mechanisms - the impacts will create certain traits into adulthoodLong-lasting effects of divorce Chapters 00:00 Influence of Extended Family and Friends36:14 Parental Unity and Communication44:45 Individual Processing of Trauma

7. Stav - 4 years old - Mom Kept Her Mouth Shut, Dad Dangled the Nice Things

Feb 16, 2026 50 min

Stav reflects on the highs and lows of her childhood relationship with her father and the intentional choice to rebuild that relationship after college. She opens up about navigating two very different worlds—emotionally and financially—between her mother’s home and her father’s, and how those contrasts shaped who she is today. Through her story, Stav highlights the power of direct communication and persistence in sustaining parent-child relationships, especially after divorce. She also speaks to the stabilizing role of extended family and community in helping children feel supported, grounded, and less alone. Stav shares deep appreciation for her mother’s ability to remain neutral and supportive, creating space for her children to form their own relationships with their father without influence or resentment. She closes by reflecting on how her childhood continues to inform her identity as a wife and mother, and how many of the values she holds in her marriage are rooted in those early experiences. Takeaways Childhood impact on adult relationshipsParental divorce and its effects - Forgiveness and establishing relationships later onImpact of family culture and community on thriving Chapters 00:00 Early Life and Upbringing06:09 Adjusting to Change12:04 Parental Relationships and Impact18:14 Aspirations and Childhood Influences23:55 Acknowledgment and Reconciliation29:54 Persistence and Hope

6. Brian - 11 years old - Getting Kicked Out of the House May Have Saved his Life

Feb 9, 2026 44 min

In this conversation Brian delves into the impact of his parent's divorce on himself, his future relationships, and the intentional way he is now parenting his kids as a single dad. He explores the challenges and experiences of growing up in a divorced family where the acrimony between the parents was at an all time high. He shares how the drastic life change for his mother after divorce was incredibly apparent to him and how they struggled, but he also indicates how his two siblings experienced life very different. Brian highlights his journey of self-discovery and resilience in the face of significant adversity and very negative parenting and exemplifies the attempt to break the cycle. Takeaways Impact of divorce on childrenPositive outcomes from challenging experiences Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Current Life06:12 Moving Between Parents12:04 Conversations with Parents19:06 Impact on Relationships and Marriages27:34 Co-Parenting and Parental Involvement36:27 Therapy and Self-Reflection41:32 Communication with Children48:42 Professional Perspective and Gratitude

5. Sisters - 7 and 9 years old - Parent's Slow Divorce was Helpful, Plus Sibling Support's Impact

Feb 2, 2026 36 min

Two sisters, Angelina and Montana, detail how they navigated their parents divorce together and how having a sibling made it easier. They describe how their parent's slow separation into divorce actually made the overall adjustment easier and less abrupt. They talk about the realities of going back and forth as teenagers, how one parent made their new residence a happy place and how they feel now believing that their parents did things well, compared to others they know. They highlighted that at the time of divorce and thereafter, their lives were busy and routines were kept and because their lives felt less impacted by the divorce they felt more grounded and stabilized. The episode also explores the importance of open communication and a mother's brave ability to be real, but age appropriate, in talking to her daughters. Takeaways Close sibling bondThere are ways to create less negative impacts of divorce on children Chapters 00:00 How it all Began05:48 Parenting Schedule11:38 Parental Conflict16:41 Impact on Children22:59 Impact on Adult Life29:11 Community Support

4. Courtney - 10 years old - An Abrupt End, A Moving Truck, A Highway Meltdown and a Forced Return

Jan 26, 2026 1 hr 23 min

Courtney brings to us the abrupt change of divorce without the memory of any real awareness of it coming. The conversation covers the drastic transition from California to Texas and the impact of her parents' divorce on her in 5th grade. She talks us through the challenges and emotional experiences associated with this specific significant life change and how at a young age she was vocal about what she wanted. The conversation delves into the impact of divorce on children, highlighting the themes of rebellion, independence, and the lasting effects of parental conflict. It emphasizes the importance of effective communication and conflict resolution in co-parenting, as well as the need for empathy and understanding in addressing the emotional needs of children during and after divorce. The conversation delves into the themes of empathy, emotional sensitivity, family dynamics and boundaries. It explores the complexities of parental relationships, wedding dynamics, and the shift in relationships over time. Takeaways Transition from California to ArkansasThe impact of divorce on childrenThe importance of effective communication and conflict resolution in co-parentingEmpathy and understanding in relationshipsSetting boundaries in relationships Chapters 00:00 Relocating from California to Arkansas05:19 Impact of Parents' Divorce29:00 Rebellion and Custody35:56 Realizing Independence44:08 Impact of Divorce on Children54:10 Parental Conflict and Children01:00:12 Family Dynamics and Boundaries01:06:01 Parental Relationships and Communication01:13:05 Reconciliation and Empathy01:19:02 Positive Impact of Family Dynamics

3. Autumn - 2 years old - She Wanted More From Dad, But Mom Knew What That Would Do

Jan 22, 2026 57 min

Autumn takes us through her parents divorce from a very young age. She describes how and when she actually becomes aware of her family dynamic. She delves into the emotional trauma, her coping mechanisms, and the shift in perspective as the speaker navigates through her experiences. It also explores the co-parenting responsibility, family dynamics, resentment, and the role reversal in parenting. The conversation delves into the impact of wanting to live with her father, not understanding the reality of that, having stability with her mother and step-father, but not seeing it clearly at that point in time, the guilt that she felt her father operated from, the reconciliation at some point into adulthood as a caregiver to her step-siblings and how that shaped her own parenting and relationships as an adult. Takeaways Divorce ImpactParental Relationships Parenting ImpactNavigating Transitions Chapters 00:00 Early Childhood and Divorce05:56 Emotional Trauma and Coping11:54 Co-Parenting Responsibility17:54 Living with Father and Siblings29:48 Liver Transplant and Caregiving44:28 Parenting Impact50:44 Emotional Impact on Parenting58:07 Greatest Positive Impact

2. Angela - Elementary School - Adulthood Opened Her Eyes to Who Her Father Was and She Healed

Jan 19, 2026 1 hr 1 min

Angela takes us back to her parent's divorce in elementary school. She explains how the back and forth changed from early childhood into teenage years. She takes us through her wanted to protect her mother from what may have seems like simple happenings at her fathers, the reality that her step-mother was present, etc. She also dives into when she became pregnant at 16 and how both parents handled that incredibly life change. She reflected on how her parental relationships changed as she matured into adulthood. The conversation delves further into the repaired relationship with her father, the impact of divorce on her own relationships and parenting, navigating co-parenting as a young mother and the greatest positive impact of the speaker's experiences. Takeaways Impact of divorce on childrenNavigating relationships with divorced parents; Understanding parental limitationsImpact of divorce on parentingNavigating co-parenting as a teen mother Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Family Background06:06 Adjusting to New Living Arrangements13:24 Observing Parental Interactions22:28 Parental Involvement in Events29:27 Reflecting on Parental Relationships55:35 Greatest Positive Impact

1. Welcome to In Between Them

Jan 19, 2026 12 min

In the debut episode of In Between Them, host Shannon Darrow shares her deeply personal journey through divorce and motherhood, revealing how separation can profoundly impact children. Drawing from lived experience, professional insight, and stories from others who grew up in divorced families, Shannon explores how conflict, emotional overwhelm, and lack of guidance can shape a child’s world. This podcast is a view into the mind of a child as their parent's are navigating divorce. The goal is to expose the actual impacts the varied behaviors, actions, words can have on children so that parents and professionals can do better for children moving forward. This episode sets the foundation for the reality that compassionate co-parenting is more important than one might think, but also incredibly difficult; it highlights the power of parental impact; and introduces a mission centered on giving children a voice/or parent's a clearer perspective—so they can do divorce better. So children can thrive, not just survive, in the midst of family change.

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45. The Coparent Collective - Hallie & Kate Talk About How People Can Do Divorce Better

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Podcast details

Created by: Shannon Darrow
Status: Active
Latest episode: Nov 9, 2026
Episodes: 45
Release period: Weekly
Avg. episode length: 1 hr
Explicit: No
Language: English

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