Dr. Anthony Mazzella

Narcissism Decoder

A Education , Health & Fitness and Mental Health podcast

#120 in Education · 🇮🇪 #197 in Education · 🇩🇰

About the show

Trying to understand narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), narcissistic relationships, or narcissistic abuse? The Narcissism Decoder goes beyond identifying narcissism to explore why it develops, why people feel and behave the way they do, and how meaningful change is possible. Unlike most podcasts, we approach narcissism with curiosity rather than condemnation. Understanding—not judgment—is the first step toward healing and change. Whether you’re trying to understand someone with narcissistic traits or recognize these patterns in yourself, this podcast offers compassionate, evidence-informed insights through a psychodynamic lens. Through clinical insight, practical examples, and compelling stories, we explore the many dimensions of narcissism, including relationships, personality development, trauma, and the unconscious emotional forces that shape behavior. The goal is to transform the way you understand narcissism, moving beyond labels and stereotypes toward deeper insight, healthier relationships, and meaningful change. Join us as we explore the deeper psychology of narcissism—one conversation at a time.

Newest episodes

How to Understand High-Conflict Behavior: What’s Really Behind It? | Epi 183

Nov 11, 2026 20 min

In this episode, I join Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter from It’s All Your Fault to talk about high-conflict behavior and what may be happening beneath the surface. We explore why people become emotionally overwhelmed, how dysregulation can fuel anger and escalation, and why understanding the psychological function of a behavior can be more useful than trying to stop it. We also look at how connection and containment can help someone become regulated enough to think about what is happening—and respond differently. To contact Bill and Eddy, visit www.highconflictinstitute.com Related Topic Hub: High-Conflict Relationships If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

What is a Dark Empath? When Someone Understands Your Feelings but Doesn't Care | Epi 182

Nov 4, 2026 14 min

In this episode, we explore the fascinating and often misunderstood concept of the “dark empath”—the possibility that someone can be remarkably attuned to another person's emotions, vulnerabilities, and needs, yet use that understanding in ways that don't foster connection or compassion. How can someone understand you so well and still hurt you? And what if you've been told that your ability to empathize and relate to other people is itself manipulative? This episode explores the complicated space between empathy, caring, and the ways emotional understanding can sometimes bring us closer—or give us power over one another. Related Topic Hub: Narcissistic Relationships If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

They Understand Your Feelings… But Do They Care? Understanding Empathy | Epi 181

Oct 28, 2026 17 min

In this episode we explore what empathy really means—and why it is more complex than simply understanding how someone feels. We discuss the difference between recognizing another person’s emotions, emotionally resonating with their experience, and truly caring about what they feel. We explore why someone can understand your pain and still struggle to respond with compassion, and why empathy is not just about knowing another person’s inner world—but what we do with that understanding. Have you ever wondered, “How could someone understand me so well and still hurt me?” This episode explores the psychology behind that confusing dynamic and sets the stage for understanding empathy, narcissism, relationships, and ultimately the phenomenon sometimes described as the “dark empath.” Related Topic Hub: Narcissistic Relationships If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Similar podcasts

The Mel Robbins Podcast Mel Robbins

Begin Again with Davina McCall Begin Again

The Comeback with Brenda Dennehy GoLoud

Coffee Break Spanish Coffee Break Languages

Stretch Marks Sinead O'Moore

On Healing Olivia Hunt

Gaeilge Weekly Learn Irish Online

6 Minute English BBC Radio

All episodes

How to Understand High-Conflict Behavior: What’s Really Behind It? | Epi 183

Nov 11, 2026 20 min

What is a Dark Empath? When Someone Understands Your Feelings but Doesn't Care | Epi 182

Nov 4, 2026 14 min

They Understand Your Feelings… But Do They Care? Understanding Empathy | Epi 181

Oct 28, 2026 17 min

Growing Up with a Borderline Mother: How Childhood Shapes Adult Love and Connection| Epi 180

Oct 21, 2026 22 min

In this episode, I continue my conversation with Dr. Emily Guarnotta, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health provider specializing in maternal mental health. In the second part of our discussion, we explore what happens when children who grow up with a mother functioning at a borderline level of personality organization become adults. If you ever wondered, how does a split internal world become more integrated? Or, how does one develop the capacity to hold multiple realities at once – then this episode is for you. Listen in to better understand how your emotional experience is meaningful but not always the whole story. To learn more about Dr. Emily Guarnotta's work, visit www.choosingtherapy.com/understanding-the-borderline-mother/ Related Topic Hub: Borderline Personality Disorder If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

The Hidden Impact of Growing Up with a Borderline Mother: How It Shapes a Child’s Mind | Epi 179

Oct 14, 2026 18 min

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Emily Guarnotta to explore the hidden psychological impact of growing up with a mother functioning at a borderline level of personality organization. We discuss how emotional instability, fear of separation, and difficulty maintaining a stable sense of self can shape the child’s developing mind. Through a psychodynamic lens, we explore how the child’s developing mind is shaped within these complex relationships—how experiences of closeness, separation, love, fear, and conflict become organized internally and influence the way the person experiences themselves and others. To learn more about Dr. Emily Guarnotta, visit www.choosingtherapy.com/understanding-the-borderline-mother. Related Topic Hub: Borderline Personality Disorder If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why It's So Hard to Leave: What Are You Really Holding Onto? | Epi 178

Oct 7, 2026 20 min

In Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Kristin Davin, we explore why letting go of an unhealthy relationship is often about much more than losing another person. Together, we examine how hope and fantasy become intertwined, why people often remain attached to the relationship they imagine rather than the one they are actually living, and how relationships can come to represent an imagined future and a hoped-for self. We also discuss the psychological capacities that allow couples to move beyond repetitive conflicts. To learn more about Dr. Kristin Davin's work, visit www.reflectionsfromacrossthecouch.com. Related Topic Hub: Narcissistic Relationships If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Do We Stay in Unhealthy Relationships? The Psychology of Feeling Stuck | Epi 177

Sep 30, 2026 23 min

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kristin Davin, a licensed psychologist, relationship therapist, and author with more than 20 years of experience helping people break unhealthy relationships. Together we explore why some relationships remain emotionally stuck even when both people know that something in the relationship is not working. We discuss the unconscious psychological functions relationships can serve, why people often become attached not only to another person but to what the relationship represents. We examine much more, such as why ending a relationship often involves mourning not only the loss of a partner, but also the loss of the imagined future and hoped-for self that the relationship once promised. To learn more about Dr. Kristin Davin's work, visit www.reflectionsfromacrossthecouch.com. Related Topic Hub: Narcissistic Relationships If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Don't Begin with the Rage: Understanding What Aggression Is Expressing | Epi 176

Sep 23, 2026 17 min

In this episode, we continue our exploration of vulnerable narcissism by examining one of its most misunderstood features: aggression. Rather than viewing rage, resentment, and controlling behavior as the beginning of the story, we explore them as the endpoint of a much deeper psychological sequence involving longing, dependency, disappointment, shame, and the fear of abandonment. Drawing on a thoughtful listener question, we examine what aggression is expressing from a psychodynamic perspective, explore the concept of omnipotent control, and discuss how understanding the psychological meaning of aggression can help us respond with greater curiosity rather than simply reacting to the behavior. Related Topic Hub: Vulnerable Narcissism If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Healing from a Covert Narcissistic Mother: Reclaiming the Self | Epi 175

Sep 16, 2026 15 min

This episode is the second excerpt from my interview at the Healing the Mother Wound Summit. We explore why the impact of a covert narcissistic mother extends far beyond childhood, how these early experiences become internalized as part of the personality, and why healing involves much more than simply letting go of the hope that your mother will one day change. We also discuss the false self, people-pleasing, guilt, and I also begin to introduce my framework for Reclaiming the Self. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

The Covert Narcissistic Mother: When a Mother Is There... But Not There | Epi 174

Sep 9, 2026 13 min

This episode is an excerpt from my interview at the Healing the Mother Wound Summit. We explore why the covert narcissistic mother can be so difficult to recognize, how seemingly ordinary interactions quietly shape a child's developing sense of self, and why a mother can be physically present yet emotionally absent. I also introduce the concept of the technical relationship—a pattern that many adults unconsciously carry into their own relationships. Listen to the Full Interview Here: laurakconnell.com If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Arguing with a Narcissist Never Works - and What Helps {Rebroadcast}

Sep 2, 2026 28 min

In this conversation, Gordon Brewer and I meet up again on his channel to explore what actually creates movement in narcissistic relationships—especially when traditional approaches like arguing, explaining, or “proving your point” only seem to make things worse. We talk about how shifting away from labels and facts toward moment-to-moment process, containment, and curiosity can de-escalate conflict and open space for real change, whether you’re a partner, a therapist, or someone beginning to recognize these patterns in yourself. {REBROADCAST} If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Covert Narcissism Explained: Why Validation Feels Like Survival {Rebroadcast}

Aug 26, 2026 16 min

In this episode — the first in a new “Consolidation Series” — I begin responding directly to your questions and thoughtful observations. If everyone wants to feel understood, what makes the need for validation and recognition narcissistic? In this episode, we explore how, in covert narcissistic functioning, validation is not simply comforting — it becomes structurally necessary for maintaining a cohesive sense of self. We’ll look at how, for some individuals, validation and attention feels less like reassurance — and more like survival. {REBROADCAST} If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why She Couldn't Let Go | Epi 173

Aug 19, 2026 19 min

In this second part of my conversation with Jessica Pressler we continue our exploration of narcissistic sibling dynamics by looking at how these patterns are unconsciously stabilized within the family system. We looked at how Jessica’s mother not only adapted but unintentionally reinforced her child’s increasing psychological power. From there, the conversation shifts inward to Jessica’s own experience of growing up inside that system, including what it was like to become quiet and emotionally invisible within her family. This leads into a deeper discussion of what she calls “Your Traitor Within.” Your Traitor Within Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404 If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

How a Narcissistic Sibling Becomes the Emotional Center of the Family | Epi 172

Aug 12, 2026 23 min

In this episode, Jessica Pressler and I explore the often-overlooked impact of growing up with a narcissistic sibling. Together, we examine how one child's emotional world can gradually come to organize an entire family, why parents unknowingly adapt around that child, and how repeated accommodation slowly gives one sibling extraordinary psychological power within the family. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why It's So Hard to Leave a Covert Narcissist: Attachment & Fantasy | Epi 171

Aug 5, 2026 17 min

In this second part of my conversation with Dr. Melissa Kalt, we go beyond understanding covert narcissistic relationships and ask a much deeper question: Why do people remain emotionally invested even when they can clearly see the pattern? Together, we explore the powerful roles of attachment and unconscious fantasy. We also begin to discuss what actually creates change. If you've ever thought, "I know exactly what's happening, so why can't I let go?" this is a conversation you won't want to miss! To learn more about Dr. Melissa's work, visit melissakaltmd.com. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why High-Functioning People Get Stuck in Relationships with Covert Narcissists | Epi 170

Jul 29, 2026 32 min

In the first part of my conversation with Dr. Melissa Kalt, we explore why covert narcissism is so difficult to recognize and why high-functioning, thoughtful, and growth-oriented individuals can become especially vulnerable to these relationships. We look beyond narcissism itself and examine the psychological fit that can develop between two people—how strengths like self-reflection, responsibility, and a commitment to growth can gradually become woven into a complex dynamic that leaves someone working harder and harder for connection, understanding, and change. If this resonates with you, this is a conversation you won't want to miss. To learn more about Dr. Melissa's work, visit melissakaltmd.com and linktr.ee/melissakaltmd. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Saying No Feels So Dangerous: Toxic Guilt and Narcissistic Parents | Epi 169

Jul 22, 2026 23 min

In this episode, we dive into Part 2 of my conversation with Hannah Alderete, a Dynamic Emotion Focused Therapist and Certified Relational Trauma Coach, as we explore the deeper fears and unconscious beliefs that often lie beneath toxic guilt. Together, we explore why saying no, setting boundaries, or disappointing others can feel so dangerous—even when no "actual" harm is being done. We also discuss what healing looks like when that guilt begins to loosen, including the emergence of anger and all the emotions that guilt may have been concealing. The deeper question many people eventually face: Who am I without this guilt? Learn more about Hannah's work: heartfeltonlinetherapy.com If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Toxic Guilt: Why Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents Feel Guilty for Saying No | Epi 168

Jul 15, 2026 22 min

In this episode, I’m joined by Hannah Alderete, a Dynamic Emotion Focused Therapist and Certified Relational Trauma Coach, to explore the difference between healthy and toxic guilt and how toxic guilt often develops within narcissistic family systems. Together, we examine why so many adult children of narcissistic parents feel guilty for setting boundaries, expressing needs, disagreeing, or simply choosing themselves. We also discuss how guilt can become conditioned over time, leading people to mistake autonomy and self-assertion for selfishness, wrongdoing, or betrayal. Learn more about Hannah's work: heartfeltonlinetherapy.com If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Do People Stay in Narcissistic Relationships? The Hidden Motivations | Epi 167

Jul 8, 2026 24 min

In the second part of my conversation with Kamini Wood, we take a deeper look at how early emotional wounds and survival strategies begin resurfacing in adult relationships. We explore the painful relational dynamics that keep people emotionally attached to partners exhibiting narcissistic traits, including the gradual loss of self, self-trust, and emotional voice that can occur over time. Finally, we compare and contrast our different clinical approaches to helping individuals break free from these destructive patterns and reconnect with themselves. If you’ve ever found yourself trapped in confusing relationship dynamics that slowly made you question your reality, this is a conversation you won’t want to miss. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Do You Need Better Boundaries ... or to Stop Living in Their Reality? Borderline Parent | Epi 166

Jul 4, 2026 22 min

In this episode, we return to our consolidation series to explore a listener's deeply thoughtful questions about maintaining a relationship with a father who displays significant borderline and narcissistic traits. While the listener asks how to stay in contact without enabling destructive behavior, the deeper question may be one many adult children struggle with: How do you remain connected to someone without losing yourself in their emotional reality? We examine how children of emotionally unstable parents learn to organize themselves around the parent's needs—and why the path forward may NOT be better communication or stronger boundaries, but learning to step outside the parent's psychological world and reconnect with your own. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

The Impact of Childhood Attachment on Narcissism | Epi 165

Jul 1, 2026 22 min

In this first part of my conversation with Kamini Wood, we take a deep dive into the complexities of narcissism, exploring the difference between narcissistic traits and Narcissistic Personality Disorder while tracing how these patterns can develop over time within the personality structure. We also discuss the impact narcissistic dynamics can have on relationships. If you’ve ever questioned whether you—or someone you love—is struggling with narcissistic traits, or you’ve found yourself trapped in a confusing relationship dynamic you cannot fully understand, this is a conversation you won’t want to miss. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Do I Pull Away When Someone Gets Too Close? | Epi 164

Jun 27, 2026 18 min

In this episode, we dive into The Fear of Dependency When a Relationship Starts to Matter. Why do some people feel deeply connected, hopeful, and excited about a new relationship, only to suddenly pull away once the relationship becomes emotionally significant? Through a psychodynamic lens, we explore healthy vs unhealthy dependency. Using a real-world prototypical example, we unpack the hidden psychology behind emotional withdrawal, the need for an "exit strategy," and why what looks like a loss of interest is often a fear of needing another person. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Growing Up with a Narcissistic Parent: Why You Feel Lost | Epi 163

Jun 24, 2026 23 min

In this next part of my conversation with Dr. Sheenie Ambardar, we turn to how identity is shaped in narcissistic family environments—where adapting to others often becomes necessary for maintaining connection, and where a more authentic sense of self can feel difficult to access or even unsafe. From there, we begin to focus more directly on what actually leads to change—how someone starts to loosen these long-standing patterns and gradually develop a more authentic sense of self in lived experience, not just in insight. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Vulnerable Narcissism: Why You Feel Emotionally Unstable in Relationships | Epi 162

Jun 20, 2026 13 min

In this episode, we continue our discussion of vulnerable narcissism. Now we get into how these dynamics actually show up in lived relationships—not just as emotional neediness or dependency, but as a deeper reliance on another person’s psychological functioning: their ability to think, decide, organize, and hold uncertainty when you cannot. We focus on how emotional instability often emerges when this kind of internal containment is outsourced to the other person, so that your own sense of clarity, agency, and emotional steadiness begins to fluctuate depending on their availability. We dive deep into what makes these relationships feel so intense, confusing, and destabilizing for both people involved. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Growing Up in a Narcissistic Family: What Stays With You | Epi 161

Jun 17, 2026 25 min

In this first clip of my conversation with Dr. Sheenie Ambardar, we begin with a foundational question—what narcissism actually is beneath the surface. From there, we focus on how narcissism takes shape within a family system. We explore how these family dynamics are not just about overt behavior, but about an entire emotional structure that organizes a child’s developing sense of self—often around adaptation, compliance, and a heightened sensitivity to others’ needs. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, the deeper question becomes, what was internalized? And how do these early relational patterns persist into adulthood? If this resonates with you, this is a conversation you won’t want to miss! If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

What Is Vulnerable Narcissism? The Hidden Psychology Behind Neediness and Rage | Epi 160

Jun 13, 2026 12 min

In this episode, we dive into the inner world of vulnerable narcissism from a psychodynamic perspective. We explore how vulnerable narcissism often presents beneath the surface — not only through insecurity, emotional fragility, and dependency, but also through entitlement, emotional pressure, withdrawal, and relational intensity. Together, we begin unpacking the split psychological world that organizes these dynamics, including the conflict between an idealized sense of self and a deeply vulnerable, ashamed, and dependent aspect of the personality. We also examine why what often appears as aggression is frequently only one part of a much deeper struggle around dependency, emotional need, and fear of disappointment or abandonment. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Narcissists Need Grandiosity | Epi 159

Jun 10, 2026 20 min

In this second part of my conversation with Mark Ruffalo, we move into the deeper internal structure of narcissistic personality—specifically the role of grandiose fantasy and why it is not just an accessory to narcissism, but something that can organize and sustain the self from within. We explore what these fantasies are actually doing psychologically, what kinds of emotional states they protect the person from, and what tends to emerge when that internal structure starts to break down. The conversation opens into the clinical tension between grandiosity and reality testing, including how narcissistic “deflation” can be misread as depression, and why that distinction matters. Finally, we talk about treatment and contrast Kernberg and Kohut—not as abstract theory, but as fundamentally different ways of entering into and working within this fragile internal world. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Can Narcissism Change? What ‘Healing Narcissism’ Looks Like | Epi 158

Jun 6, 2026 21 min

In this episode, we return to the question of healing narcissism and what real change actually looks like in clinical work and everyday functioning. We move beyond the common belief that narcissistic structures are fixed or unchangeable. Through a clinical illustration, we begin to trace the subtle moments where something starts to shift internally—where old ways of experiencing closeness, need, and recognition are quietly disrupted. What emerges is not a simple answer, but a deeper look inside the process itself: how change begins to take shape from within the structure of the mind. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Calling Someone a Narcissist? What You’re Missing | Epi 157

Jun 3, 2026 26 min

In this first clip of my conversation with Mark Ruffalo, we start with a deceptively simple question—why does “narcissist” now get used to describe almost everything, and what gets lost when a clinical term becomes part of everyday moral language? From there, we move beneath the surface into what this overuse might actually be doing psychologically, including how processes like splitting and projection can shape the way people quickly organize others as “narcissistic” when emotional complexity feels hard to hold. We then shift into the consulting room itself—what narcissistic personality organization actually looks like in real time. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Does My Boyfriend Act Helpless Over Small Tasks? | Epi 156

May 30, 2026 21 min

In this episode we explore a very common relationship dynamic where everyday situations—like one partner stepping in to clean up something that’s been left unattended—suddenly escalate into frustration, criticism, and a sense of emotional overload. What initially looks like a practical moment quickly shifts into something more charged: questions about responsibility, competence, and who is “carrying” the relationship. Beneath the surface, we begin to see how these exchanges are not really about the task itself, but about deeper tensions around dependency, shame, and the need to re-establish a sense of control and competence in the relationship. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

How to Handle Difficult People: High-Conflict Techniques | Epi 155

May 27, 2026 25 min

In this episode, I’m sharing another clip from my conversation with Joe Dillon, a divorce mediation specialist, where we move from defining high-conflict communication into practical techniques for actually reducing it. We explore how shifting from “why” questions to “help me understand” lowers defensiveness and creates a sense of validation and safety, allowing for more reflective dialogue. We also introduce the concept of “detached engagement”—staying emotionally present without getting pulled into reactivity—and how this helps prevent escalation while maintaining connection. Throughout, we highlight how small shifts in tone, curiosity, and emotional regulation can fundamentally change the course of a conflict. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Am I Dangerous? Violent Thoughts, Anger, and Feeling Stuck | Epi 154

May 23, 2026 20 min

In this episode, we return to our consolidation series, where we slow things down and take a closer look at your questions—and the patterns that begin to emerge across them. Lately, many of you have been circling around a similar experience: not just anxiety or guilt, but a deeper confusion about anger—where it went, why it feels so dark, and how it might be connected to feeling stuck in your life. What we begin to trace is a subtle but powerful shift, where anger is no longer experienced as a feeling, but as something dangerous. And as that happens, life itself can start to narrow. Early experiences shape the way anger is held internally, how it transforms into fear, and how that fear can quietly organize the limits you place on your own life. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

How to De-Escalate “High Conflict” (Without Giving In) | Epi 153

May 20, 2026 25 min

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Joe Dillon, a divorce mediation specialist, to break down what really drives high-conflict communication—and why small disagreements so quickly turn into major fights. We explore defensiveness, emotional projection, and practical strategies to de-escalate conflict without reinforcing unhealthy patterns. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

How to Stay "Yourself" in a Narcissist Relationship Without Losing Your Mind | Epi 152

May 16, 2026 21 min

In this episode, we return to our consolidation series to explore a listener’s deeply thoughtful question: what does it actually mean to be “separate but together” in a relationship where emotions run high and reality feels contested? Rather than treating this as a communication technique, we explore it as an internal psychological struggle—one that gets activated in moments of misunderstanding, criticism, or emotional intensity. Why do some people collapse into self-doubt, while others insist you see their point of view? And what is happening underneath these shifts in how we experience ourselves and the other person? This episode is ultimately about building the capacity to stay present with difference—without losing yourself in it, and without losing the other person either. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Can Narcissists Change? What Actually Works | Epi 151

May 13, 2026 23 min

In this episode, Dr. John Ogrodniczuk joins us again to explore the possibility of real change in people with narcissistic patterns. We dive into what actually makes therapy work, how trust is built over time, and why staying with difficult emotions—rather than avoiding them—can transform both clinical and everyday relationships. If you’ve ever wondered whether narcissists can truly change, this conversation will give you insight you won’t want to miss. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Can a Borderline Parent Create Narcissistic Traits in their Child? | Epi 150

May 9, 2026 22 min

In this episode, we return to our consolidation series and slow down to explore a listener’s deeply thoughtful question: Is there a relationship between having a borderline parent and developing narcissistic traits? Rather than approaching this in a simplistic or causal way, we unpack the psychodynamic environment the child grows up in—one marked by emotional inconsistency, engulfment, or withdrawal—and how this creates a core internal dilemma. This is a must-listen if you’ve ever wondered how early relational environments shape the way you connect, protect yourself, and experience others. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Narcissists Are Fragile Inside | Epi 149

May 6, 2026 26 min

In this episode, Dr. John Ogrodniczuk and I uncover how to tell when narcissism becomes more than just confidence. We explore why some individuals shift between feeling superior and feeling worthless, and what this reveals about a deeper instability in their sense of self. In this part of our conversation, we cover a lot more, such as that which leads to internal fragmentation and identity diffusion. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Emotional Withdrawal In Relationships: How Do You Break the Pattern | Epi 148

May 2, 2026 20 min

In this episode, we return to our consolidation series and slow down to explore a listener’s intriguing question: Where does a coping mechanism end and dependency on a psychic retreat begin—and how do you step away? We unpack the psychodynamic concept of the psychic retreat, its role in protecting against painful states, and how it can become a rigid, dominating pattern in relationships and daily life. We explore how moments of awareness, emotional risk-taking, and connection can gradually loosen the retreat’s grip, helping someone re-engage with reality, relationships, and their own feelings. This is a must-listen if you’ve ever wondered how coping can turn into avoidance—and what it takes to break free. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

The Dance Between Codependents and Narcissists: Can Therapy Really Help? | Epi 147

Apr 29, 2026 20 min

Why are codependents and narcissists drawn to each other — and what keeps them trapped in the same patterns? In this second part of my conversation with Ross Rosenberg, we explore the “dance” between the giver and the taker, why love can turn into a cycle of control and loneliness, and what therapy can realistically offer. If you’ve ever wondered whether these relationships can change, this clip dives into the psychology behind the attachment, the pathology, and the possibilities for growth. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

High Conflict Relationships: Why Nothing Changes (And How To Fix It) | Epi 146

Apr 25, 2026 20 min

In this episode, we take a deeper look at what happens after conflict escalates and breaks down in high-conflict relationships. We move beyond managing the moment and focus on what it means to return after a rupture—how to repair what was damaged, understand what actually took place, and begin shifting the patterns that keep repeating. By exploring both the emotional dynamics and the underlying psychological processes, this episode offers a way to move from reactive cycles toward more reflective, meaningful connection. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

What Triggers Narcissistic Rage? The Hidden Role of Narcissistic Injury | Epi 145

Apr 22, 2026 23 min

In this episode, I sit down with Ross Rosenberg to explore narcissistic injury, projection, and the deeper psychological forces behind narcissistic rage. Ross explains the roots of narcissistic rage, showing how it stems from a narcissistic injury — an unconscious collapse of the grandiose self — and how projection and shame drive the explosive reactions we often see in these relationships. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

What to Do When a High Conflict Relationship Spirals Out of Control | Epi 144

Apr 18, 2026 25 min

In this episode - part 2 of 3 - we get into what to do in the exact moment a conflict starts to spiral out of control. When things escalate fast—name-calling, defensiveness, shutting down—it can feel like you’ve already lost control of the interaction. We walk through how to catch that shift as it’s happening, understand what’s being triggered underneath it, and respond in a way that doesn’t make things worse. The focus isn’t on winning the argument, but on slowing the escalation and changing the pattern in real time. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

How to Heal from a Destructive Narcissistic Relationship | Epi 143

Apr 15, 2026 19 min

In another part of my conversation with Dan Neuharth, we move from theory into the clinical room. Using a real case example, we unpack what the actual healing process looks like when someone is caught in regression, anger, and the victim posture within a destructive narcissistic relationship. We explore how anger can temporarily stabilize a fragile sense of self while also blocking mourning, how feelings of abandonment are often reactivated rather than newly created, and how therapy gently shifts the patient from reenacting old dynamics to working through them. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

High Conflict Relationships: Why Arguments Escalate So Quickly | Epi 142

Apr 11, 2026 26 min

Why do some arguments escalate so quickly—and never seem to resolve? In Part 1 of this three-part series, we break down the hidden psychological dynamics driving high-conflict relationships, and why what you’re arguing about is often not the real issue. We also begin to illustrate these dynamics through a prototypical example, showing how they take shape and repeat in real interactions. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

How to Heal from a Destructive Narcissistic Relationship | Epi 141

Apr 8, 2026 25 min

In this episode, we’re joined by Dan Neuharth, author of If You Had Controlling Parents and How to Heal From Destructive Narcissistic Parents. Together, we explore what truly has to shift internally for someone to heal from destructive or controlling narcissistic parenting. We move beyond the surface narrative of anger and no-contact to examine a deeper question: What happens when the narcissistic parent still organizes your inner world? Dr. Neuharth shares the key psychological moves involved in healing: stepping out of regressed childhood roles, loosening a rigid victim identity, and turning the focus inward. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Healing from Covert Narcissistic Parenting: Guilt and Breaking the Invisible Loyalty | Epi 140

Apr 1, 2026 15 min

In this episode, I share another clip from my conversation on Trusting After Trauma: Redefining Relationships After Parental Narcissistic Abuse, hosted by Pi Venus Winslow. In this segment, we explore why separating from a covertly narcissistic parent does not just feel frightening—it can feel deeply disloyal. We examine the guilt that surfaces when setting boundaries, the anger that often masks unresolved grief, and the unconscious loyalty that keeps many adult children emotionally stuck. The conversation underscores that healing is not about dramatic confrontation, but about reclaiming your internal world—strengthening your capacity to mentalize, recognizing what was internalized in childhood, and gradually separating your identity from the parent who shaped it. Trusting After Trauma - Starting Tuesday, April 7th: https://trustingaftertraumasummit.com/DrAnthonyMazzella If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Surviving Covert Narcistic Parenting: When the Parent Is There, But Not There | Epi 139

Mar 25, 2026 16 min

In this episode, I share a clip from my conversation on Trusting After Trauma: Redefining Relationships After Parental Narcissistic Abuse, hosted by Pi Venus Winslow. In this segment, we explore the complexities of covert narcissism and its impact on individuals who grew up with narcissistic parents. We discuss the subtle yet profound effects of covert narcissistic parenting, the importance of mentalization in understanding one's feelings, and the challenges of setting boundaries. Trusting After Trauma - Starting Tuesday, April 7th: https://trustingaftertraumasummit.com/DrAnthonyMazzella If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Borderline Personality and the Fear of Abandonment: What Most People Miss | Epi 138

Mar 18, 2026 19 min

In this episode, we take a deeper look at a common misunderstanding about borderline personality organization: that the core struggle is simply a fear of abandonment. Drawing on the work of psychoanalyst Herbert Rey and his powerful metaphor of the “marsupial space,” we explore a more complicated psychological dilemma — the painful experience of never quite finding a relational space that feels both safe and free. We explore: Why can closeness feel desperately needed one moment, yet suffocating the next? And why can even small moments of distance trigger fears of being pushed out or abandoned? If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Do I Feel Safer Expecting Disappointment? | Consolidation Epi 137

Mar 14, 2026 24 min

This is another consolidation episode based on clinical work with a patient who recognized that he organizes his relationships around anticipated disappointment. When things are going well, he becomes anxious and uneasy, almost waiting for the other shoe to drop. In this episode, we explore the psychodynamic function of expecting disappointment, and why predictable letdowns can sometimes feel safer than the uncertainty of trust, hope, and real dependency in relationships. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

Why Does the Narcissist Feel Emotionally Unreachable- Shut Down? | Epi 136

Mar 11, 2026 20 min

Have you ever been with someone who seems present, even engaged, yet remains strangely out of reach? Or have you noticed yourself pulling back into a private inner world when closeness starts to feel too intense? Using John Steiner’s concept of psychic retreats, we explore how people create hidden internal safe spaces to protect themselves from anxiety, guilt, and depression. These retreats can look like grandiosity, fantasy, secrecy, “double lives,” addictions, or even relationships that promise safety without real emotional exposure. Whether you’ve loved someone who felt unreachable or recognize this pattern in yourself, this episode offers a new way to understand what’s really happening beneath the surface — and what it takes to begin moving back toward real connection. If you are interested in a consultation or seeking virtual therapy services, Dr. Mazzella is accepting new patients. Please click here for more detailed information. Contact me directly with observations, questions, or comments: thenarcissismdecoder@gmail.com Follow The Narcissism Decoder on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube Dr. Mazzella’s personal website: drmazzella.com Dr. Anthony Mazzella is a psychoanalyst and psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in narcissism, personality disorders, and relational dynamics.

See all 190 episodes

–

0 ratings from members

Rate this podcast

No reviews yet — be the first member to rate "Narcissism Decoder".

This podcast, its content and its artwork are not owned by, affiliated with, or endorsed by Castquire.

How to Understand High-Conflict Behavior: What’s Really Behind It? | Epi 183

Share this podcast

Live Chart rankings

Chart history

🇮🇪 Education Best #120

Holding at #120 — the line fills in as this chart moves.

🇩🇰 Education Best #197

Holding at #197 — the line fills in as this chart moves.

Podcast details

Created by: Dr. Anthony Mazzella
Status: Active
Latest episode: Nov 11, 2026
Episodes: 190
Release period: Weekly
Avg. episode length: 24 min
Explicit: No
Language: English

Links

Official website ↗ Apple Podcasts ↗ RSS feed ↗

Is this your podcast?

Claim it to show it on your profile. Using the email from your RSS feed approves it instantly.

Keep listening

Discover more podcasts like this.

Browse podcasts See the charts