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Rob and Jamie

Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

A History and Comedy podcast

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About the show

Rating all the emperors of Rome in the history of the Roman Empire (sort of)

Newest episodes

Exciting Announcement!

3 min

Exciting news! Jamie and I will be keynote speakers in next year's Intelligent Speech Conference! (28th Feb 2026) More information in the the announcement episode. But tickets are on sale - use our discount code!(Rankium) Intelligent Speech Online is happening February 28th, 2026. · The theme is Companions and Rivals · Tickets are on sale at intelligentspeechonline.com · Earlybird pricing is available on tickets until December 31st, 2025.

Exciting Event!

2 min

Jamie and I will be at this year's online Intelligent Speech Conference!  The conference has been going since 2019 and is full of history podcasters and other content creators. We are honoured to be back. We will be talking about the deception on the public in regards to pirates. Did they have peg legs? What are the parrots about? Did they all shout "Arrrr!"? Join us and find out! https://intelligentspeechonline.com/

New podcast! Pirates: Totalus Rankium!

1 min

That's right! If you can see this then that means that our third podcast Pirates Totalus Rankium is out! Search for it by using the words Pirates, Totalus and Rankium! 

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All episodes

The newest 50 of 207 episodes

Exciting Announcement!

3 min

Exciting news! Jamie and I will be keynote speakers in next year's Intelligent Speech Conference! (28th Feb 2026) More information in the the announcement episode. But tickets are on sale - use our discount code!(Rankium) Intelligent Speech Online is happening February 28th, 2026. · The theme is Companions and Rivals · Tickets are on sale at intelligentspeechonline.com · Earlybird pricing is available on tickets until December 31st, 2025.

Exciting Event!

2 min

Jamie and I will be at this year's online Intelligent Speech Conference!  The conference has been going since 2019 and is full of history podcasters and other content creators. We are honoured to be back. We will be talking about the deception on the public in regards to pirates. Did they have peg legs? What are the parrots about? Did they all shout "Arrrr!"? Join us and find out! https://intelligentspeechonline.com/

New podcast! Pirates: Totalus Rankium!

1 min

That's right! If you can see this then that means that our third podcast Pirates Totalus Rankium is out! Search for it by using the words Pirates, Totalus and Rankium! 

S2 The Final

53 min

So this is it! Find out who is the most interesting of all of the season 2 emperors! Justinian II, Andronikos or Heraclius! Only one can win, who will it be!?

S2 Semi Final 3

1 hr 18 min

The last of the semi finals is the hardest of the lot! Heraclius, Basil I, Anastasius and Justinian the Great face off against each other. But only one can win! Find out who!

S2 Semi Final 2

1 hr 8 min

4 Emperors, only one can go through! We have some big hitters! Tops Scorer Basil II, Cad and tyrant Andronikos and Best Death winner Leo V! Oh, and Theophilos is here also. which is nice. Who goes through to the Final? Find out!

S2 Semi Final 1

50 min

Romanos, Justinian II, Leo III and Alexios face off against each other in our first semi final. Who could say who will win!? (ok, this one may be obvious - but the next two are too close to call! And join us anyway, we have fun!)

S2 Round 6

1 hr 42 min

The last of the rounds before we go into the quarter finials! This time its Constantine XI, Basil I, John VI, Leo V and Maurice! A close one to call!   Also, we go through the total scores of all the emperors of season 2!

S2 Round 5

1 hr 39 min

The penultimate round before the semi finals, and we decide which two got through. this week we have Theophilos, the awful Alexios IV, Irene, Heraclius and Nikepheros II! only two go through, but who!? Also we look at the Tempo Completo for the whole season! 

S2 Round 4

1 hr 33 min

In Round 4 we see Manuel II, Constantine IV and Leo I go up against the two Komneni - Alexios I and Andronikos! only two can go through, who will it be? Also - who was the least best looker as we go through Imago Facius

S2 Round 3

1 hr 17 min

Next round! And in this we have Season two top scorer Basil II against shepherd boy Leo II, the Reluctant Emperor Theodosius III, and the two emperors in exile - Theodore and John III! Who will win? Find out! Also, a look at the most and least successful emperors of the series!

S2 Round 2

1 hr 16 min

The round of death! This time we must choose between Justinian I, Justinian II, Manuel I, Justin II and Eudocia!   Also, we have a look at who were the most and least crazy of all the emperors of S2!

S2 Round I

1 hr 3 min

Here are the rounds! This time Romanos I takes on Micael VIII, Anastasius and John I and John II! only 2 go through, but who!?  We also take a look into the Fightius Maximus Round. Who was the most and least Fighty emperor of season 2?

S2 Draw

41 min

So here we are! All of Season 2 emperors have been scored. but how will they do in the play off? But before we find out, we must put them in rounds. Here we go!

171 Constantine XI

1 hr 59 min

Here it is! The last Roman emperor! it's been quite the journey, and after this we will be able to say we have ranked them all. So how does Constantine XI hold up to the 169 others? Find out!

170 John VIII

1 hr 16 min

Penultimate episode and we have John VIII! Is the son of Manuel Dos able to live up to his father? Can he hold back the Ottomans with his plan of church unification? Well, no. Let's find out why!

169 Manuel II

1 hr 58 min

The empire is on its last legs and needs a hero. And who is this man? this suave champion of the people!? is Manuel as cool as Jamie and I think he will be? find out!

168 John VII

31 min

Last week we covered a son who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the father who blinded him. This week we are coving a grandson who led a mostly unsuccessful coup against the grandfather who blinded him. So that’s fun.

167 Andronikos IV

49 min

So award for worst son in Roman history goes to...  But is this fair? Did AndyIV have a reason for his behaviour? Find out!

166 John V (Yes V, not VI)

1 hr 47 min

So, after John VI we obviously get to John V! And this has it all! Kidnapping, a trip down memory lane, imprisonment, a moody teenage son, and Lord Flashheart/the Green Count!

165 Matthew

1 hr 21 min

It's Matthew! Should he get an episode? Maybe, maybe not. But he has one! The empire is spiralling out of control as the neighbours fight their civil war for them!

164 John VI (Yes VI, not V)

1 hr 59 min

Next up is John VI! Which we are doing before John V just to mess with everything that is good in the world. Find out why in this episode! (Oh and about a civil war and stuff)

163 Andronikos III

1 hr 25 min

His father is dead, his grandfather is on the throne and he has accidently murdered his brother (oops). There is clearly only one thing to do: It's Coup-O'Clock!

162 Michael IX

1 hr 0 min

Ok, he is not the most well known, and yes, he died before his father. But there must be a reason this co-emperor is on all the lists right? Right?

Special: Eat Brains Love (Quest Friends Pontifact crossover!)

1 hr 21 min

Ever wanted to listen to a Quest Friend Role playing game with Totalus Rankium and Pontifacts in it? Well, here you are!! Recorded a while ago but released for halloween, join us was we go on an adventure!  More info: https://www.questfriendspodcast.com/jeff

161 Andronikos II

1 hr 26 min

So the capital is back! The empire is up and running! That Charles fella is gone! So we can only assume that everything will go well from now on... Hang on, why does the money not work anymore?

160 Michael VIII

1 hr 30 min

So we come at last to the last dynasty of the Roman empire. It's been quite a journey, let's hope the final dynasty live up to at least some of the others! In this episode find out about Micael's heroic recapture of Constantinople! 

159 John IV

48 min

The Laskaris lot have done alright so far. But how is an 8 year old going to cope in a world full of cut-throat men? Hopefully ok. After all, it is his birthday. And Christmas.

158 Theodore II

1 hr 42 min

The dynasty is going well. suspiciously so. So well in fact - they are a nat's hair away from gaining the capital back. So is Theodore the one to do it? Or does he hate his Tutor too much to notice?

157 John III

1 hr 0 min

John has a big task in front of him - the empire has fallen and several men claim to be the Roman Emperor. But who will claim the prize? Can John do it before he dies?

156 Theodore

1 hr 27 min

The empoire has fallen! But from the ashes rises one man with a mission: to restore the Empire! Or at least annoy his father in law.

Update and Q&A

32 min

Update on why we have been away and what is happening next. Plus a Q&A session. 

Totalus Rankium Vs Pontifacts

1 hr 17 min

Ho Ho Ho!   Merry Christmas!   As an apology fpr the lack of content, here is a Senate only episode that we are releasing to all.    TR v P   Who knows their fellow co-host best? 

155 Alexios V Monobrow

55 min

the second of our two episodes this weekend. This times its the man with a plan to save the empire! Alexios V!

154 Nicholas

25 min

Part 1 of our double feature this weekend, It's Nicholas! Never hear of him? I'm not surprised. Unlike he was to find himself emperor! 

4th Week - Baccus Groundus Commentry

1 hr 30 min

Rob and Jamie listen back to their first ever recording from May 2016.    Hear the awkwardness and the cringe moments such as: -Jamie giving facts -Rob awkwardly trying to explain how the podcast works  -The emergence of Jeff -Flaming phallus! 

153 Alexios IV

1 hr 10 min

New Alexios! Better than last Alexios? Maybe, maybe not. Listen to find out!

152 Alexios III

1 hr 19 min

We continue with the story of the best dynasty the Romans ever had. Isaac was a bit useless, yes, but maybe his brother has what it takes?

151 Isaac II Angelos

1 hr 28 min

It's a new dynasty! And let's see just how good the Angel dynasty goes shall we? I'm sure it will be fine. It will won't it? It'll be fine.

150 Andronikos

1 hr 45 min

Bored of all these sane, competent emperors we have been having lately? Long for the days where an emperor would spit in your eye, jump out the window and steal your wallet and your wife as he fled the city? Fear Not! Andronikos is here!

149 Alexios II

36 min

We are back and we are kicking things off with Alexios II! Nope? Never heard of him? Oh well. Maybe this episode will help. 

148 Manuel

1 hr 56 min

Manuel was never supposed to be emperor. He was the forth son. But when fate shoves him into the top job, can he build upon his father and grandfather’s legacy? Or will he watch it burn? Find out!

147 John II The Beautiful

1 hr 43 min

His father started turning around the ship, leading it to calmer waters. Now John must take the reins (of the ship, they had reins back then) and steady the course. Can he do it? Find out!

146 Alexios

2 hr 4 min

We are back, and with the longest Emperor episode yet! Join us as we skim through the insanely busy life of Alexios!

145 Nikepheros III

1 hr 48 min

Yes, he is approaching 80, and yes, he has no legitimacy. But who knows? Maybe he is just what the empire needs right now to turn the sinking ship around. If only he could get rid of the couping pigeons...

144 Michael VII

1 hr 14 min

Now Romanos is gone, Michael has the chance to righten the ship - with the help of his advisors, there will surely be no - whats that? They have been captured? And the money is not working? And the generals are all called Nikepheros and they are all revolting? Ah...

143 Romanos IV Diogenes

1 hr 33 min

If you know your Roman history, the date of 1071 will mean something. And here we are! However, if like Jamie, you don’t know about 1071: Just how bad can Romanos’ push against the Turks go? Find out!

142 Eudocia

1 hr 9 min

You wont find Eudocia on many lists, but she deserves to be on them. She may not have ruled long, but she made an impact. Also, we take a brief look into the Seljuk Turks. They may be important in the next few episodes…

Interview: Rex Factor: Sulla

1 hr 26 min

Rex Factor have just released an episode on Sulla, so we thought it was the perfect excuse to have a chat with them about the man. We also chat about podcasting in general, worms, the dangers of squash and we play the ever popular ‘How well to you know your co-host’

141 Constantine X

1 hr 15 min

Isaac is dead and Psellus has installed his mate to bring back the good old days of the wealthy families reaping in all the cash. As long as there are not mulitple invasions hitting the empire at once, it'll be fine!

See all 200 episodes

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