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Dr. Sarah Bren

Securely Attached

A Parenting , Kids & Family and Health & Fitness podcast

#70 in Parenting · 🇨🇦 #85 in Parenting · 🇵🇭
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About the show

Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between. Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship. And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We're answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the "rules." From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust. About Sarah Bren, PhD Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.

Newest episodes

The surprising link between your child's vision, behavior, and screen time with Dr. Meenal Agarwal

59 min Video

What if your child's difficulty focusing, struggles with reading, or even some of their behavioral challenges had something to do with their vision, even if they can see perfectly well? In this episode, I sit down with optometrist and author Dr. Meenal Agarwal to explore the fascinating connection between our eyes, our brains, and the way children experience the world around them.   Together we explore:   Why having 20/20 vision doesn't necessarily mean your child's visual system is functioning optimally. The surprising ways undetected vision difficulties may show up as inattention, learning struggles, or behavioral challenges. Why some children can see perfectly clearly but still experience eye strain that makes it harder to focus at school. What screens may be replacing in your child's development, and why that matters just as much as how much time they're spending on them. The fascinating science behind why spending time outdoors can help protect your child's eyesight. What parents may be overlooking during routine eye exams, and the important questions worth asking your optometrist. Simple, playful ways to support your child's visual development, spatial awareness, and brain health without adding more to your parenting to-do list. A refreshing shift in how we approach screen time that can reduce power struggles and make room for more connection, movement, and play.   Whether you're concerned about your child's screen time, wondering if their attention or learning difficulties could have a visual component, or simply curious about how to support their development, this conversation will change the way you think about vision and give you practical ideas you can start using at home.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Meenal Agarwal 📚 Stuck in a Flat World: How Screens Rewire Our Brains, Spatial Awareness, and Sense of Safety 📱@dr.meenalagarwal     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psych...

Q&A: How to know if my child may have depression?

24 min Video

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions!   In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about what to do when your young child seems sad all the time, how to know when it's something to be concerned about, and when it might be time to seek additional support.   We explore:   Is it typical for a 4-year-old to say they're sad every day, even when they can't explain why? How to tell the difference between developmentally typical sadness and potential signs of childhood depression. The subtle changes in your child's behavior that may be important clues about their emotional well-being. Why the intensity, frequency, and duration of your child's sadness may tell you more than what's actually making them sad. When to trust your instincts and seek a professional evaluation, even if you're not sure anything is seriously wrong. What therapy actually looks like for a preschooler, and how young children can work through difficult emotions without needing to talk about them directly. Why involving parents in a young child's therapy can be so valuable, even when the parent-child relationship isn't the source of the problem.   If your child has been telling you they're sad, seems less like themselves lately, or you're struggling to know whether what they're experiencing is a normal part of childhood or something that deserves a closer look, this episode will help you understand what to pay attention to, when to seek support, and why getting help doesn't have to mean something is terribly wrong.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Concerned about your child's emotional well-being? If your child has been experiencing persistent sadness, depression, or other emotional challenges, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized child therapy and parent support to help families better understand what's going on and find a path forward. Whether you're noticing subtle changes in your child's mood or wondering if it's time to seek profess...

How stress affects your child's brain and body: The science of co-regulation, resilience, and healing with Dr. Nicki Bush

59 min Video

Developmental psychologist and UCSF professor, Dr. Nicki Bush, joins me this week to explore stress and how it affects our children and what parents can do to help protect their child's developing brain and body.   Together we explore:   Why some stress can actually be good for your child, and when it starts to become harmful. The surprising ways stress can show up across your child's behavior, learning, mental health, and physical health. How your own nervous system communicates safety or danger to your child, even when you aren't saying a word. Why being a calm parent does not mean never feeling stressed, anxious, angry, or overwhelmed. What happens inside the body when we rest, and why your own rest may be more important for your child than you realize. Why focusing solely on changing a child's behavior can cause us to miss what is actually driving it. How working with the parent-child relationship can sometimes be more powerful than treating the child alone. The remarkable research showing that relationship-based therapy may actually change the biological effects of early trauma and stress and maintain those effects long after the therapy ends. Why early experiences matter so much, but do not have to determine your child's future.   If you've ever worried about how your own stress might be affecting your child, wondered whether difficult experiences can have lasting effects, or felt pressure to keep your child calm and happy, this conversation offers a much more hopeful way to understand stress. Because our biology is remarkably adaptable, and the relationships children have with the people who care for them can be a powerful part of how they heal, grow, and thrive.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Nicki Bush 🔗 Intergenerational Developmental Health Program 📱LinkedIn: Nicole (Nicki) Bush, PhD   LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for in...

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All episodes

The newest 50 of 453 episodes

The surprising link between your child's vision, behavior, and screen time with Dr. Meenal Agarwal

59 min Video

What if your child's difficulty focusing, struggles with reading, or even some of their behavioral challenges had something to do with their vision, even if they can see perfectly well? In this episode, I sit down with optometrist and author Dr. Meenal Agarwal to explore the fascinating connection between our eyes, our brains, and the way children experience the world around them.   Together we explore:   Why having 20/20 vision doesn't necessarily mean your child's visual system is functioning optimally. The surprising ways undetected vision difficulties may show up as inattention, learning struggles, or behavioral challenges. Why some children can see perfectly clearly but still experience eye strain that makes it harder to focus at school. What screens may be replacing in your child's development, and why that matters just as much as how much time they're spending on them. The fascinating science behind why spending time outdoors can help protect your child's eyesight. What parents may be overlooking during routine eye exams, and the important questions worth asking your optometrist. Simple, playful ways to support your child's visual development, spatial awareness, and brain health without adding more to your parenting to-do list. A refreshing shift in how we approach screen time that can reduce power struggles and make room for more connection, movement, and play.   Whether you're concerned about your child's screen time, wondering if their attention or learning difficulties could have a visual component, or simply curious about how to support their development, this conversation will change the way you think about vision and give you practical ideas you can start using at home.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Meenal Agarwal 📚 Stuck in a Flat World: How Screens Rewire Our Brains, Spatial Awareness, and Sense of Safety 📱@dr.meenalagarwal     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psych...

Q&A: How to know if my child may have depression?

24 min Video

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions!   In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about what to do when your young child seems sad all the time, how to know when it's something to be concerned about, and when it might be time to seek additional support.   We explore:   Is it typical for a 4-year-old to say they're sad every day, even when they can't explain why? How to tell the difference between developmentally typical sadness and potential signs of childhood depression. The subtle changes in your child's behavior that may be important clues about their emotional well-being. Why the intensity, frequency, and duration of your child's sadness may tell you more than what's actually making them sad. When to trust your instincts and seek a professional evaluation, even if you're not sure anything is seriously wrong. What therapy actually looks like for a preschooler, and how young children can work through difficult emotions without needing to talk about them directly. Why involving parents in a young child's therapy can be so valuable, even when the parent-child relationship isn't the source of the problem.   If your child has been telling you they're sad, seems less like themselves lately, or you're struggling to know whether what they're experiencing is a normal part of childhood or something that deserves a closer look, this episode will help you understand what to pay attention to, when to seek support, and why getting help doesn't have to mean something is terribly wrong.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Concerned about your child's emotional well-being? If your child has been experiencing persistent sadness, depression, or other emotional challenges, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized child therapy and parent support to help families better understand what's going on and find a path forward. Whether you're noticing subtle changes in your child's mood or wondering if it's time to seek profess...

How stress affects your child's brain and body: The science of co-regulation, resilience, and healing with Dr. Nicki Bush

59 min Video

Developmental psychologist and UCSF professor, Dr. Nicki Bush, joins me this week to explore stress and how it affects our children and what parents can do to help protect their child's developing brain and body.   Together we explore:   Why some stress can actually be good for your child, and when it starts to become harmful. The surprising ways stress can show up across your child's behavior, learning, mental health, and physical health. How your own nervous system communicates safety or danger to your child, even when you aren't saying a word. Why being a calm parent does not mean never feeling stressed, anxious, angry, or overwhelmed. What happens inside the body when we rest, and why your own rest may be more important for your child than you realize. Why focusing solely on changing a child's behavior can cause us to miss what is actually driving it. How working with the parent-child relationship can sometimes be more powerful than treating the child alone. The remarkable research showing that relationship-based therapy may actually change the biological effects of early trauma and stress and maintain those effects long after the therapy ends. Why early experiences matter so much, but do not have to determine your child's future.   If you've ever worried about how your own stress might be affecting your child, wondered whether difficult experiences can have lasting effects, or felt pressure to keep your child calm and happy, this conversation offers a much more hopeful way to understand stress. Because our biology is remarkably adaptable, and the relationships children have with the people who care for them can be a powerful part of how they heal, grow, and thrive.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Nicki Bush 🔗 Intergenerational Developmental Health Program 📱LinkedIn: Nicole (Nicki) Bush, PhD   LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for in...

Beyond chores: How to teach kids to notice what needs to be done and share the mental load with Sam Kelly

45 min Video

Sam Kelly, author of Notice and Do, and I talk about why simply assigning chores may not be enough. While chores can teach responsibility, they often overlook an important first step. Before kids can take initiative, they have to learn how to notice what needs their attention without waiting for us to point it out.   Together we explore:   Why constantly reminding your child to clean up, put something away, or help out may unintentionally keep you carrying the mental load. The important difference between teaching kids to do chores and teaching them to notice what needs to be done. A surprisingly simple exercise you can try at home to start building this skill in just 10 to 15 minutes. Why something that feels completely obvious to you may require far more executive functioning than you realize for your child. How to scaffold these skills without nagging, micromanaging, or eventually giving up and doing it yourself. What to do when your child rolls their eyes, pushes back, or simply refuses to participate. How to adapt this approach for kids with ADHD, strong-willed kids, and children who need more support with executive functioning. Why teaching kids to carry some of the mental load isn't really about having a cleaner house, but about shaping the partners, friends, family members, and adults they eventually become.   If you're exhausted from constantly telling everyone what needs to be done, this conversation offers a different way to think about chores, responsibility, and what it actually takes to raise kids who see what needs doing and know how to step in.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Sam Kelly 📚 Notice and Do: Raise Capable Kids, End Motherhood Burnout, and Lighten Your Mental Load 📱@samkelly_world   LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 📱IG: @drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RES...

Raising emotionally healthy boys: How to protect connection, vulnerability, and their authentic selves with Dr. Adam McCormick

56 min Video

Dr. Adam McCormick, professor, social worker, and author joins me to explore what happens to boys' emotional worlds as they grow up, and how parents can help their sons stay connected to the parts of themselves they may otherwise learn to hide.   Together we explore: Why so many boys gradually disconnect from emotions they once expressed freely. The powerful role shame can play beneath anger, withdrawal, and challenging behavior, and why boys often don't have the language to recognize it. How even well-intentioned parents may respond differently to their sons' emotions without realizing it. Why trying to fix a boy's feelings can sometimes get in the way of the connection he actually needs. What boys learn when they feel valued for who they are, rather than for how they perform. Why small moments of delight, attention, play, and connection can have a much bigger impact than we realize. A simple shift that can make it easier for boys to open up about the things that matter most. How we can hold boys accountable for their behavior while still staying curious about what that behavior may be communicating. Why helping boys stay connected to their inner worlds now may shape the friendships, romantic relationships, and emotional lives they build later.   Whether you're raising a toddler, a teenager, or somewhere in between, this conversation offers a hopeful reminder that boys don't need us to teach them how to feel. They need us to help protect the emotional capacities they already have, so they don't have to lose connection with themselves in order to feel like they belong.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Adam McCormick 📚Healing the Helping Professional: The Unfinished Business of Childhood Trauma 📱LinkedIn: Adam McCormick     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL R...

Q&A: Am I wrong...or did my doctor give bad parenting advice?

11 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   What to make of advice that tells you not to comfort your child when they're distressed. Why a frightened toddler at the doctor's office is communicating something very different than "bad behavior." The common misunderstanding about reinforcement that leaves many parents second-guessing themselves. Whether responding to your child's fears actually makes them more dependent or "too attached." How to know when it's okay to trust your instincts, even when they conflict with advice from an authority figure. What attachment research actually says about soothing, separation, and healthy independence. Why one difficult interaction doesn't have to become something you worry about "damaging" your child.   If you've ever left a doctor's appointment feeling unsettled by advice that didn't sit right, or found yourself wondering whether comforting your child is helping or hurting, this episode will give you the confidence to better understand what's happening beneath your child's behavior and trust your instincts as a parent.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.   🎧 Is it better for my kids if I send them to daycare, have a nanny, or become a stay-at-home mom?     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with the basics of attachment theory    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a deep dive into strengthening your child's attachment as they grow: What children need from us at ever...

The neuroscience of resonance: How to use language to strengthen attachment with your child with Sarah Peyton

59 min Video

Author, speaker, and neuroscience educator Sarah Peyton joins me to explore what happens when attachment theory, Nonviolent Communication, and the science of resonance come together.   Together we explore:   Why feeling understood is so important for your child's developing brain, nervous system, and sense of self. The fascinating difference between empathy and resonance, and why that distinction matters in our relationships with our kids. How your own attachment history can influence the way you respond when your child is upset, reactive, or pushing your buttons. Why the same behavior from your child might barely bother you one day, and feel completely intolerable the next. How Nonviolent Communication can help you look beneath your child's behavior and get curious about the feelings and needs driving it. The surprising connection between secure attachment and independence, and why pushing children to become more independent can sometimes have the opposite effect. How becoming more resonant with your child can begin to shift your own attachment patterns too. Why changing the way you relate to your child doesn't happen overnight, but can profoundly change your relationship over time.   Whether you're trying to break patterns from your own childhood, understand why certain parenting moments feel so triggering, or simply want to feel more connected to your child, this conversation offers a fascinating new way to think about what it really means to feel seen, understood, and securely connected.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Sarah Peyton  📚 Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations and Exercises to Engage Your Brain's Capacity for Healing 📱IG: @sarahpeytonauthor FB: Empathy Brain YouTube: Sarah Peyton      LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESO...

The connection crisis: Why kids are struggling with friendship and what parents can do with Dr. Niobe Way

1 hr 6 min Video

Dr. Niobe Way, developmental psychologist and bestselling author, sits down with me to explore why meaningful connection is so essential for our children, and what may be getting in the way of their natural capacity to build it. Drawing on decades of research with children and adolescents, Dr. Way challenges some of our most deeply held assumptions about what kids need to thrive and offers a hopeful look at the skills they already possess.   Together we explore:   Why children may be far more intrinsically caring, cooperative, and curious than we give them credit for. What happens to kids' desire for deep, meaningful friendships as they move from childhood into adolescence, and why boys' experiences may surprise you. The overlooked connection between your child's social health and their mental health. Why secure attachment is incredibly important, but may not be enough to protect kids from the cultural messages they receive as they grow. How our well-intentioned focus on achievement can indirectly send our kids a message we never meant to communicate. Why the questions we ask our children can either shut down connection or open the door to an entirely different kind of conversation. What Dr. Way discovered when she stopped questioning her daughter about homework and started getting curious about something she didn't particularly want her watching on TikTok. The surprisingly simple skill that may help children feel more seen, strengthen their friendships, and even support their learning. What parents can do at home to nurture the relational skills our children are already wired to have.   If you've ever worried about your child's friendships, wondered how to stay connected as they get older, or felt caught between preparing them to succeed and helping them become caring, connected humans, this conversation offers a powerful new way to think about what our kids need most.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Niobe Way   📚 Rebels with a Cause: Re...

How to build a secure attachment with yourself: The connection between self-worth and parenting with Dr. Marisa G. Franco

48 min Video

Dr. Marisa G. Franco, psychologist and author of the new book Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, sits down with me to explore a side of attachment we don't talk about nearly enough: our relationship with ourselves.   Together we explore:   Why trying to "act secure" may actually leave you feeling more insecure. What it really means to become "secure-ish," and why security doesn't require getting rid of your anxiety, insecurity, or uncomfortable emotions. The surprising connection between attachment and self-worth, and why changing how you feel about yourself may require more than positive thinking. How experiences from your past can become a blueprint for what you expect from relationships today, and the fascinating science suggesting that blueprint can be edited. Why being the agreeable, easygoing person isn't always as healthy as it looks, and where all those suppressed emotions can eventually go. What your relationship with your own emotions has to do with how you respond when your child is having big ones. Why some parents find themselves losing it more with the people they love the most, even when they're working incredibly hard to stay calm. How learning to welcome the parts of yourself you've spent years trying to change may be one of the most powerful ways to build genuine security from the inside out.   If you've ever wondered why you can understand secure attachment intellectually but still find yourself falling into old patterns, this conversation offers a very different way of thinking about what it actually means to feel secure, not just in your relationships, but within yourself.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Marisa G. Franco  📚 Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment 📱 @drmarisagfranco     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families ...

Picky eating, protein, food dyes, and nutrition myths: What parents actually need to know with Jennifer Anderson

58 min Video

Jennifer Anderson, registered dietitian, founder of Kids Eat in Color, and author of the new book Feed Them Well: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident Eaters for Life, joins me to help parents cut through the noise around nutrition, focus on what actually matters, and let go of the guilt, perfectionism, and fear that so often surround mealtimes.   Together we explore:   Why the atmosphere around the table may matter just as much as what's on your child's plate. The surprising reason play can be one of the most effective tools for helping picky eaters become more adventurous. How to tell the difference between nutrition advice that's worth paying attention to and the headlines designed to scare you. The simple framework Jennifer uses to help parents stop worrying about every food trend and focus on the changes that make the biggest difference. Why talking about foods as "good" or "bad" may shape the way children think about eating in ways we don't always realize. What parents can do when the usual feeding advice doesn't seem to work for their unique child. How your own relationship with food may be influencing your child's, often without you even realizing it. The permission every parent needs to stop chasing perfect nutrition and start building a healthier relationship with food for the whole family.   Whether you're navigating picky eating, trying to cut through the endless stream of nutrition advice online, or simply hoping mealtimes can feel a little less stressful, this conversation will leave you feeling calmer, more confident, and equipped with practical strategies you can start using right away.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Kids Eat in Color  📚 Feed Them Well: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident Eaters for Life 📱 IG: @kids.eat.in.color TikTok: @kids.eat.in.color  FB: Kids Eat in Color    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for ind...

"Gentle parenting" isn't enough: Why kids need both emotional validation and boundaries with Dr. Siggie Cohen

56 min Video

Dr. Siggie Cohen, child development specialist, parenting expert, and author of the new book You Are the Parent joins me to discuss why so many parents today feel overwhelmed, second-guess themselves, and wonder if they're getting it all wrong.   Together we explore:   Why so many well-intentioned parents get stuck in a cycle of trying new parenting strategies that never seem to work, and what to focus on instead. The subtle difference between validating your child's emotions and accidentally reinforcing behaviors that aren't helping them. Why behavior doesn't change because of the perfect consequence or script, but because of something much deeper happening within the parent-child relationship. The common child development misconceptions that leave parents expecting too much or too little from their children. Why repeating the same explanations over and over often isn't the answer, even when your child seems like they "aren't listening." How to respond to hitting, aggression, and other challenging behaviors in ways that support both emotional regulation and healthy boundaries. What it really means to become your child's leader without becoming controlling, harsh, or authoritarian. How to begin changing long-standing family patterns, even if your child is older and you've been parenting a different way for years. The powerful mindset shift that can help you stop parenting from fear and start trusting yourself again.   If you've ever worried about whether you're validating too much, setting too many limits, or simply trying your best while feeling pulled in a dozen different parenting directions, this conversation will help you cut through the noise, feel more confident in your role, and better understand what children truly need to thrive.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Dr. Siggie Cohen  📚 You Are the Parent: Move from Overparenting to Balanced Parenting and Become the Leader Your Child Needs – A Framework for Confident Parenting Through Dis...

Back by Popular Demand: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

50 min

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most meaningful and foundational conversations in Securely Attached history. Many parents worry that if they didn't experience a secure attachment in their own childhood, they'll unknowingly repeat those same patterns with their children. But one of the most hopeful findings in attachment research is that our past does not have to determine our children's future.   In this conversation, I sit down with renowned attachment researcher Dr. Miriam Steele to explore how secure attachment develops, how insecure attachment patterns are passed from one generation to the next, and, most importantly, how we can break those cycles.   Together we discuss:   What secure and insecure attachment really mean, and some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding attachment theory. How children develop different attachment strategies in response to their early caregiving experiences. Why secure attachment is built through consistent responsiveness, not perfect parenting. The surprising research showing that parents don't need to be attuned all the time for children to develop secure attachment. What reflective functioning is and how it helps parents interrupt intergenerational cycles of insecure attachment. Why understanding your own childhood experiences can transform the way you parent your children. The difference between attachment science and popular "attachment parenting." Why repair matters more than getting it right every time. Practical ways to strengthen your relationship with your child, even if you didn't grow up with secure attachment yourself. The hopeful message that it is never too late to create a more secure future for your family.   This conversation is a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not about perfection, nor is it determined by the childhood you had. It is built through thousands of ordinary moments of connection, curiosity, repair, and reflection. Dr....

Q&A: What should I do if my child has intrusive thoughts?

33 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   What intrusive thoughts actually are. How to recognize when a repetitive question or worry is more than ordinary curiosity, and the subtle clues that can help you tell the difference. The types of topics (like private parts, germs, or order) that are most common in intrusive thinking. The simple shift that can help your child stop identifying with the thought and begin seeing it as something separate from who he or she is. Why reassurance often brings only temporary relief, and what tends to work better in the long run. Practical, child-friendly strategies that can help kids feel more in control when their brains get "stuck" on a thought. How to respond in ways that reduce shame, build confidence, and help your child develop the skills to cope with intrusive thoughts over time.   Whether your child is experiencing intrusive thoughts because of anxiety, OCD, PANS/PANDAS, or you're simply wondering if what you're seeing is developmentally typical, this episode will help you better understand what's happening inside your child's mind and give you practical tools to respond with confidence and compassion.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety, OCD, or intrusive thoughts? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers evidence-based treatment for children and families, including SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and a combination of approaches tailored to your child's unique needs. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation with our care team. We'll listen carefully, answer your questions, and help you determine the best next step for your family.   📚 What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD by Dawn Huebner     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODE...

Child custody through divorce: Navigating the courts and building a custody schedule that works with Michael Fried

52 min Video

Michael Fried, a family law attorney at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein joins me to help parents navigating divorce better understand what to expect when it comes to child custody, how courts make custody decisions, and how to create a parenting agreement that truly serves their child's best interests.   Together we explore:   Why today's courts increasingly begin with the assumption that children benefit from strong relationships with both parents, and what that means for custody decisions. The common mistake parents make when approaching custody and why "winning" isn't actually the goal. What judges are really looking for when determining a child's best interests. How to think about 50/50 custody, and why there isn't one schedule that's right for every family. The developmental factors that should shape a parenting plan, from toddlers to teenagers. Practical strategies that help children adjust to living in two homes with greater security and less stress. The communication tools that can reduce conflict and make co-parenting more successful, even when the relationship between parents is strained. What parents should document during a custody case and when it makes sense to revisit a parenting agreement as children grow.   Whether you're considering divorce, actively navigating a custody arrangement, or simply want to better understand how to protect your child's emotional well-being through a separation, this conversation offers practical guidance grounded in both legal expertise and child development.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Michael L. Fried 🔗 Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP  💻 5 Minutes with Fried 📱 LinkedIn: Michael L. Fried IG: @bbnsfamilylaw FB: Berkman Bottger Newman Schein LLP    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES...

Q&A: How can I get my child to be potty trained at night?

18 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Why staying dry overnight is very different from daytime potty training, and what many potty training books get wrong. The surprising reason some children simply aren't biologically ready, no matter how motivated they or their parents are. How to recognize the difference between a child who needs more practice and one who simply needs more time. The low-pressure approach that can actually make nighttime potty training feel easier for everyone. Small ways to build your child's confidence and independence, even if they're still waking up wet. Why paying attention to your child's internal body signals may matter more than sticker charts or rewards. When bedwetting is still completely within the range of typical development, and when it's worth bringing it up with your pediatrician.   If your child is still wearing pull-ups at night or nighttime potty training hasn't gone the way you expected, this episode will help you better understand the biology behind nighttime dryness and offer practical, compassionate strategies to support the process without adding unnecessary pressure.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with everything you need to know to successfully potty train your child   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is potty trained, but still won't poop on the potty   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode ab...

How to use music to strengthen your child's attachment, reduce stress, and create more moments of connection with Vered Benhorin

45 min Video

Vered Benhorin, music therapist and Baby in Tune founder, joins me to explore how music and connection can be powerful tools in your parenting toolbox.   Together we explore:   Why creating just a few intentional moments of connection each day matters far more than trying to be perfectly present all the time. The simple shift that can transform ordinary routines like diaper changes, snack time, or bedtime into relationship-building moments. How music can help you stay playful and connected before everyday frustrations turn into power struggles. Why following your child's lead during moments of exploration benefits both of your nervous systems. How songs can become emotional shortcuts that help your child feel safe, understood, and connected when big feelings arise. The surprising reason these "bubble moments" are just as important for parents as they are for children. Why the joy and wonder children experience can help us see the world differently, no matter how old they are.   Whether you're parenting a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager, this conversation is a gentle reminder that secure attachment isn't built through perfection. It's built through small moments of presence, delight, and connection that add up over time.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Baby in Tune  🎧 Vered on Spotify  🎧 Vered on Apple Music  📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together  📱IG: @babyintune 🎧 33. How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with music therapist Vered 🎧278. Music, mindfulness, and play: Using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Grou...

Q&A: Does my child have anxiety or are they just highly sensitive?

22 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Why some children seem to worry about everything, from strange noises to monsters under the bed, even when nothing dangerous is happening. How to tell the difference between anxiety, a highly sensitive temperament, and a nervous system that's simply taking in the world more intensely. Why your response to your child's fears may matter more than finding the perfect explanation or reassurance. The subtle ways parents can accidentally strengthen anxiety, and what to do instead. What behaviors like lip picking, nail biting, or constantly chewing on things may actually be communicating. Simple ways to help your child's nervous system feel calmer without making anxiety the center of attention. When it's worth seeking professional guidance, and why getting support early doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong.   If your preschooler seems to worry about everyday things, startles easily, or always seems to be on high alert, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those behaviors and give you practical, compassionate strategies to help them feel safer, more regulated, and more confident.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz   👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can support your sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety   🎧 Listen to my podcast...

Back by Popular Demand: What to do when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I hate myself," or "I'm a bad kid"

40 min

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most impactful parenting conversations in Securely Attached history.   Few moments are more heartbreaking than hearing your child say, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," "I hate myself," or even, "I wish I wasn't here." Our instinct is often to reassure them, convince them they're wrong, or make those painful feelings disappear as quickly as possible. But what if those words are actually your child's way of communicating something much deeper?   In this conversation, Dr. Emily Upshur joins me to explore what negative self-talk is really telling us, how to respond in the moment, and how to help children build resilience, confidence, and a healthier inner voice over time.   Together we discuss:   What children are often trying to communicate when they use harsh or self-critical language. Why our first instinct to reassure or correct may not be the most helpful response. What to say in the moment when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," or "I hate myself." How to respond differently with preschoolers, school-age children, and older kids. Why it's important to look beneath the words to the feelings driving them. How to recognize when negative self-talk is becoming a repeated pattern. Why calm, connected debriefs are often more effective than trying to solve everything in the moment. Practical ways to build resilience, confidence, and a growth mindset in everyday life. How to model healthy self-talk and coping skills for your child. Why these moments, while unsettling, can become powerful opportunities for connection and emotional growth.   This conversation offers a compassionate framework for responding to some of the most difficult things a child can say. Rather than reacting from fear or rushing to make the feelings disappear, we remind you that these moments are invitations to connect, understand what your child is really experiencing, and help them develop the...

Q&A: What do I do when my child says "no" to everything?

19 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Why children who are loving, sweet, and cooperative in many moments can still get stuck saying "no" to the smallest requests. What your child's resistance may actually be communicating, and why it often has very little to do with the task itself. A simple shift that can help break the cycle when every request seems to turn into a power struggle. Why giving your child more opportunities for independence can actually make them more willing to cooperate when it really matters. How to approach recurring battles, like tooth brushing, in a way that invites collaboration instead of more resistance. The one conversation to have before trying another consequence, reward, or punishment. Why sometimes the fastest way forward is to slow down and reset the relationship first.   If your child keeps saying "no" or seems to turn everyday routines into a battle of wills, this episode will help you understand what's really driving the behavior and give you practical strategies to build more cooperation without getting pulled into constant power struggles.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   Dr. Ross Greene and Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)   💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.   👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority...

The gut-brain connection: How food affects your child's mood, behavior, and mental health with Dr. Uma Naidoo

49 min Video

In this episode, I sit down with nutritional psychiatrist, professional chef, and bestselling author Dr. Uma Naidoo to explore the fascinating science behind the gut-brain connection and what it means for parents. Rather than focusing on restriction or perfection, Dr. Naidoo shares a practical, realistic approach to using food as one more tool to support your child's emotional well-being.   Together we explore:   Why your child's gut may be influencing far more than just digestion. The surprising reason adding foods to your child's diet may be more powerful than taking foods away. What most parents misunderstand about protein, and the nutrient no one is talking about that many kids are actually missing. How ultra-processed foods may be affecting mood, focus, and emotional regulation in ways you wouldn't expect. Simple swaps that can support your child's brain without making mealtimes more stressful. Why "food as medicine" isn't about replacing therapy or medication, but giving your child another layer of support. The mindset shift that makes healthy eating feel more realistic, sustainable, and far less overwhelming. Easy, family-friendly strategies that can help nourish both your child's body and brain.   Whether you're raising a picky eater, wondering how nutrition fits into your child's mental health, or simply looking for realistic ways to support your family's well-being, this conversation will leave you with practical ideas you can start using right away.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Dr. Uma Naidoomd  📚 Calm Your Mind with Food: A Revolutionary Guide to Controlling Your Anxiety 📚 This Is Your Brain on Food: An Indispensable Guide to the Surprising Foods that Fight Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and More 📱 @drumanaidoo      LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren...

Q&A: Is my 3-year-old being rude or just acting their age?

18 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Why toddlers often sound rude or demanding without actually intending to be. The developmental reason young children focus on getting their needs met rather than how their words affect others. When to gently teach manners in the moment and when it's better to focus on connection instead. How to model polite language without creating shame or turning every interaction into a correction. Why understanding what's underneath your child's words can help you respond with more patience and less frustration. How to tell the difference between a child who is simply being direct and one who is becoming overwhelmed or dysregulated. Simple ways to encourage respectful communication through modeling, playfulness, and everyday practice.   Whether your toddler barks orders, interrupts constantly, or seems to demand things instead of asking politely, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those moments and show you how to teach respectful communication in a way that supports your child's development while strengthening your relationship.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can help your child learn to be patient when they wants my attention immediately   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence with Devon Kuntzman   🎧 Listen to my podcast epis...

Back by Popular Demand: The neuroscience of sleep training, bed sharing, and baby sleep with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum

1 hr 8 min

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most downloaded and talked-about episodes in Securely Attached history.   Few parenting topics generate as much confusion, anxiety, and conflicting advice as sleep. In this conversation, neuroscientist, doula, and author of The Nurture Revolution, Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, joins me to explore what the science actually tells us about infant sleep, sleep training, bed sharing, contact sleep, and the role responsiveness plays in early brain development.   Together we discuss:   Whether night waking is a normal and developmentally expected part of infant sleep. What neuroscience tells us about how babies learn to feel safe during sleep. What sleep training does and does not change about infant sleep. The different approaches to sleep training and how they compare. The science behind contact sleep, room sharing, and bed sharing. How societal expectations around sleep can contribute to parental anxiety and guilt. Ways to support your baby's sleep while honoring both your child's needs and your own. How to think about sleep decisions without shame, fear, or pressure. Why it is never too late to strengthen connection and secure attachment, regardless of the sleep choices you've made in the past.   This conversation offers a compassionate, science-backed perspective on one of parenting's most emotionally charged topics. Rather than telling parents what they should or should not do, Dr. Kirshenbaum empowers families with the information they need to make informed decisions that feel right for their unique child, their mental health, and their family. Most importantly, this episode reminds us that parenting is not about perfection. It is about understanding our children, responding with intention, and building connection one moment at a time.   ⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐   If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milesto...

Q&A: How can I get my toddler to brush their teeth without a power struggle?

24 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Why trying harder often makes tooth brushing harder, and what to focus on instead. The surprising reason lowering your expectations in the short term can actually lead to better long-term habits. How to tell whether your child is resisting because of autonomy, sensory sensitivities, or something else entirely. Why treating tooth brushing like learning a brand-new skill, no matter your child's age, can completely change your approach. Simple ways to use play, exposure, and curiosity to help your child feel more comfortable with brushing. Small changes to your routine that can dramatically reduce bedtime power struggles. Creative ideas to make tooth brushing feel less threatening and more engaging, even for children who have fought it every step of the way.   Whether your child refuses to open their mouth, insists on brushing independently, or runs away the moment the toothbrush comes out, this episode will help you move away from daily battles and toward a calmer, more connected approach that builds cooperation over time.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to set limits, support ind...

Nonviolent Communication in parenthood: A communication framework that can transform the way you parent with Oren Jay Sofer

58 min Video

Oren Jay Sofer, mindfulness teacher, communication expert, and author of Say What You Mean, joins me to explore the principles of Nonviolent Communication, a powerful framework that helps us communicate in ways that foster connection, reduce conflict, and strengthen relationships.   Together we explore:   Why your child's challenging behavior may be pointing to something much deeper than disobedience. The surprising shift that can completely change how you approach power struggles. Why memorizing parenting scripts often falls flat, and what to focus on instead. How your own unmet needs may be fueling the very conflicts you're trying to solve. The simple mindset change that can help you stay calmer when emotions run high. What children are really learning from every interaction, even when things don't go as planned. How to set firm boundaries without relying on shame, fear, or punishment. A practical communication strategy that can make it easier for children to cooperate.   Whether you're parenting a toddler, school-aged child, or teenager, this conversation offers a thoughtful framework for navigating everyday challenges with greater presence, compassion, and confidence, while strengthening the secure attachment your child depends on.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.orenjaysofer.com/  📚 Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication 📚 Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity, and Love 📚 Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents 📱 @orenjaysofer     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more gro...

Q&A: How can I support my child with PANS or PANDAS through anxiety and OCD?

23 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Whether parents should wait to address anxiety or OCD symptoms while their child is in a PANS or PANDAS flare. How to tell the difference between supporting your child and unintentionally strengthening anxiety. Why the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approach helps parents create lasting change without requiring their child to participate in therapy. Why you don't have to start with the biggest or hardest challenge to see meaningful progress. How reducing just a few anxiety-driven routines can lead to improvements across many different areas of your child's life. Practical ways to help your child build confidence in handling anxiety while feeling deeply supported and understood. Resources for parents who want to learn more about SPACE therapy and find trained providers.   Whether your child has PANS, PANDAS, OCD, or anxiety more broadly, this episode will help you better understand your role in the treatment process and give you practical, evidence-based strategies for supporting your child with confidence, compassion, and hope.   REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast with Nancy O'Hara MD    👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about PANS/PANDAS with Dr. Nancy O'Hara   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧 Listen to my podca...

Back by Popular Demand: Teaching children emotion regulation through co-regulation with Dana Rosenbloom

45 min

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most popular and foundational episodes in Securely Attached history.   When children are overwhelmed by big feelings, many parents wonder how to help them calm down, listen, or use the coping skills they've been taught. But before children can regulate themselves, they first need to experience regulation through relationships. In this conversation, I sit down with early childhood specialist Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana's Kids, to explore the powerful role co-regulation plays in helping children develop emotional regulation skills, resilience, and self-awareness.   Together we discuss:   What co-regulation is and why it is the foundation of emotional development. Why emotional dysregulation is often contagious for both parents and children. How to stay grounded when your child is overwhelmed by big feelings. Why the goal is not to be perfectly calm all the time. How children learn emotional regulation through our modeling and presence. Why getting comfortable with your child's discomfort can be one of the most important parenting skills. The difference between being a detective and being a teacher during challenging moments. How to respond when your child is upset about a limit you've set. Why a child's rejection of a boundary is not a reflection of your effectiveness as a parent. The role repair plays in building resilience, confidence, and connection.   This conversation offers a compassionate and practical framework for understanding children's behavior through the lens of regulation rather than compliance. Dana reminds us that emotional outbursts are not signs that we've failed as parents or that our children are failing. They are opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. Most importantly, this episode is a powerful reminder that before we can co-regulate with our children, we must first learn how to regulate ourselves.   ⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Sec...

Q&A: How do I tell my children we're getting divorced?

29 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   The best way parents can tell their children that they are planning to separate or get divorced. How to approach this conversation in a way that helps children feel safe, supported, and loved. What parents should share, what they should avoid sharing, and why it's important to focus on what you know rather than what you don't know yet. The key reassurances every child needs to hear, even if they never ask the questions out loud. Why children of different ages may react very differently to the news and how to tailor your approach to your child's developmental stage. How to respond when children react with sadness, anger, blame, resistance, or seemingly no reaction at all. Practical ways to help children adjust to changes in the family while maintaining a sense of stability and connection. When it may be helpful to involve a therapist or family professional for additional support.   This episode will help you approach one of the most difficult conversations a family can face with greater confidence, compassion, and clarity while supporting your child's emotional well-being through the transition.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children with Michell...

Raising a neurodivergent child: How connection, co-regulation, and self-compassion change everything with Debbie Reber

55 min Video

Debbie Reber, founder of Tilt Parenting and author of Differently Wired, joins me for a deeply honest conversation about what it really means to raise a neurodivergent child and why supporting these children begins with changing the way we understand them, not trying to change who they are.   Together we explore:   What it really means to be "differently wired" and why that shift in language matters. Why so many parents of neurodivergent children feel isolated, even as awareness continues to grow. The hidden emotional work of parenting children with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence. How understanding your child's nervous system can transform the way you respond to meltdowns and big emotions. Why co-regulation starts with your own self-regulation and practical ways to support both. How to move from trying to "fix" behavior to building connection, safety, and trust. Why repair matters more than getting parenting "right." How raising a neurodivergent child can lead parents into profound personal growth and healing of their own.   Whether you're parenting a neurodivergent child, wondering if your child might be differently wired, or simply looking for a more compassionate way to understand children's behavior, this conversation offers both practical tools and a powerful mindset shift.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Tilt Parenting  📚 Differently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope  📱IG: @tiltparenting FB: Tilt Parenting YouTube: Full-Tilt Parenting with Debbie Reber     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 The Tilt Parenting Report   🎧 Full-Tilt Parenting: 10 Years Later: How We've Changed, How the Movement Has Grown (And What Comes Next)    💻 Dr. Dan Siegel - Explains Mi...

Q&A: Why does my child follow me from room to room?

20 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   How to support a child who struggles with separation anxiety, even at home. Why some kids follow their parents from room to room and constantly want to stay close. How to respond when your child says "I miss you" without accidentally reinforcing anxiety. Why validating your child's feelings is important, but rescuing them from distress can sometimes make separation harder over time. Simple ways to help children build confidence tolerating small separations through play, connection, and gradual stretching. How to figure out your child's "stretch point" so you can support growth without overwhelming them. Creative ways to use timers, playfulness, collaboration, and connection to help kids practice independence. How parents can reduce accommodations around anxiety while still staying warm, supportive, and emotionally attuned.   This episode will help you better understand what may be driving your child's clinginess or separation struggles and give you practical, compassionate strategies for helping them build confidence and independence over time.     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can have a smoother daycare or school drop-off   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping preschool parents prepare for drop-off, separation anxiety, and the development of social skills with Meredith Gary   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode...

Back by Popular Demand: Using Presence as the Antidote to Trauma with Dr. Jacob Ham

58 min

Dr. Jacob Ham, licensed clinical psychologist and Director of the Center for Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, joins me for a profound conversation about trauma, attachment, presence, and the relational experiences that help us heal.   Together we explore:   Why trauma is not defined solely by what happened to us, but by how those experiences continue to shape the way we relate to ourselves and others. The difference between living from a state of survival and living from a state of presence. How trauma can disrupt our natural capacity to move fluidly between connection, protection, openness, and autonomy. Why healing does not happen through insight alone, but through relationships that allow us to experience safety, reflection, and connection. The concept of reflective functioning and why it is one of the strongest predictors of secure attachment across generations. How becoming aware of our internal "chatter" can help us respond with greater compassion toward ourselves and our children. Why rupture and repair are a normal and necessary part of healthy relationships. How parents can begin breaking intergenerational cycles by cultivating curiosity, awareness, and presence.   This conversation offers a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not built through perfection. It is built through our willingness to stay present, remain open to reflection, and continually return to connection with ourselves and the people we love. Dr. Ham shares a deeply hopeful perspective on how healing happens and how even small moments of awareness can begin to transform the patterns we pass on to the next generation.

Q&A: How can I help my child adjust to a big move?

16 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   How to prepare young children for a big move without overwhelming them. Why moving can feel surprisingly emotional and disorienting for kids, even when the change is positive. Simple ways to help children understand what's changing, what's staying the same, and what they can expect in their new home. Why visual supports, transitional objects, and goodbye rituals can help kids feel more grounded during major transitions. How to help children stay connected to important relationships after moving away from friends, teachers, and familiar places. Why making new friends can feel especially stressful for some kids, and how parents can help them feel more confident socially. Practical ways parents can create emotional continuity, safety, and connection before, during, and after a move.   This episode will help you better understand how children experience major transitions and give you thoughtful, practical ways to support your child emotionally through a move.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using design and organization to support your child's nervous system with Rachel Melvald   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping our children form strong friendship bonds with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go...

Why anxiety can be good for us: Helping your child handle fear, uncertainty, and discomfort with Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary

51 min Video

Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, clinical psychologist, researcher, and author of Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad), joins me to talk about why anxiety is one of the most misunderstood emotions in parenting.   Together we explore:   The surprising difference between anxiety that helps us grow and anxiety that gets in the way. Why anxiety may be helping your child (and you!) more than you realize. How to tell when anxiety is healthy and when it's becoming a problem. Why some of the most common responses to childhood anxiety can backfire. The surprising connection between anxiety, hope, and resilience. How parents can become a source of calm without dismissing or fixing their child's feelings. The simple shift that can help you stop seeing anxiety as the enemy. Dr. Dennis-Tiwary's three-step framework for responding to anxiety in yourself and your child.   This conversation offers a powerful reframe for parents who want to support their children through anxiety without reinforcing fear or avoidance. It is about learning to see anxiety not as an enemy, but as a normal part of being human, and helping our children develop the confidence to face uncertainty, navigate discomfort, and trust their ability to handle life's challenges.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗https://www.tracydennistiwary.com/  📚Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad) – A Psychologist's Paradigm Shift for Understanding and Hope 📱@dr.tracyphd     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to up...

Q&A: How should I respond when my child touches herself?

14 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Why it is completely normal for young children to explore their bodies and engage in self-soothing behaviors. How parents can respond to self-touching in a calm, shame-free, developmentally appropriate way. The difference between setting healthy boundaries and unintentionally communicating shame around bodies or pleasure. Why some children may use self-touching as a form of sensory input, comfort, or emotional regulation, especially at bedtime. How to teach children about privacy and body boundaries using neutral, age-appropriate language. What to do when self-touching is happening in a shared bedroom or around siblings. Ways to help children expand their self-soothing toolbox with other calming sensory and bedtime supports. Why parents' own discomfort or cultural messaging around sexuality can sometimes shape how these moments feel. How to navigate sibling questions or reactions without making the behavior feel scary or secretive. The importance of helping children feel safe, accepted, and connected to their bodies while still maintaining appropriate boundaries.   This episode will help you feel more confident responding to common childhood self-soothing and body exploration behaviors with calm, clarity, and compassion.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your son always has his hands down his pants   🎧 Listen to...

How collaborative divorce and positive psychology can reduce conflict and support your children with Andrea Vacca

49 min

Collaborative divorce attorney and positive psychology practitioner Andrea Vacca joins me to talk about something many families don't realize is possible: a way to move through divorce without escalating conflict or damaging long-term relationships.   For many people, divorce is synonymous with battle. It's something to survive, something to win, or something to endure at all costs. But as Andrea explains, that model often makes an already painful experience even harder for both parents and children.   In this conversation, we explore how a more intentional, team-based approach can help families navigate divorce in a way that supports emotional well-being, preserves dignity, and sets the foundation for healthier co-parenting moving forward.   Together, we discuss:   What collaborative divorce is and how it differs from traditional litigation. Why you don't need strong communication skills to start this process, just a willingness to try. How a team-based approach (including mental health and financial professionals) supports the whole family. The biggest myths about collaborative divorce, especially for high-conflict couples. How positive psychology can help shift your mindset from survival to growth during divorce. The concept of a "good enough" agreement and how it can reduce unnecessary conflict. How emotional regulation impacts decision-making during divorce. What it actually looks like to create a thoughtful, durable co-parenting plan. How to revisit and improve parenting plans, even after a divorce is finalized. How parents can protect their child's sense of stability during a major family transition.   This conversation is about more than divorce. It's about how we navigate major life transitions, how we stay grounded in our values under stress, and how we make decisions that support not just short-term relief, but long-term well-being for ourselves and our children.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Vacca Family Law Firm  🎧 A Better Divorce Po...

Q&A: How can I help my sensitive child stand up for themself to peers?

18 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   How to support a sensitive, gentle child in becoming more confident using his voice with peers. The difference between helping your child build self-advocacy skills and trying to change their temperament. How to teach kids simple, effective boundary-setting tools that actually work in fast-paced peer interactions. Why "old soul" kids may naturally learn polite, sophisticated communication, but still need help practicing more direct forms of assertiveness. Playful ways to practice boundary-setting and self-advocacy skills at home through games and role play. How to know when to step in as a parent and when to allow kids space to navigate social challenges on their own. Why it's important to match a child's communication tools to the intensity and energy of the situation they're in. The importance of checking whether a child is actually distressed before assuming a social interaction is a major problem.   This episode will help you feel more confident supporting your child's self-advocacy skills while still honoring their unique temperament, sensitivity, and personality.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage your shy child without making them feel like being shy is bad?   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode abou...

A deep dive into strengthening your child's attachment as they grow: What children need from us at every stage of development

53 min

In this deep dive episode, I explore how secure attachment evolves across development and what children are really needing from us emotionally at each stage of childhood and adolescence. Using Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development as a framework, we look at the core emotional tasks kids are navigating from infancy through young adulthood, and how our role as parents shifts alongside them.   Together, we explore:   What secure attachment looks like at different developmental stages. How to stay connected to your child as their needs evolve over time. Why toddlers push for independence and what they need from us in those moments. How play, boredom, and curiosity support emotional development in early childhood Why school-age kids become more focused on achievement, perfectionism, and peer comparison. How social media can intensify insecurity during key developmental windows. Why adolescence can suddenly feel so emotionally intense and unpredictable. How to stay a secure base for your teen without escalating power struggles. What today's loneliness epidemic can teach us about raising emotionally connected kids. Why repair matters more than perfection in secure relationships. How understanding your child's developmental task can completely shift the way you respond to behavior.   This episode is ultimately about learning to zoom out. Not to parent each stage perfectly, but to better understand what your child is actually working through underneath the behaviors, emotions, and developmental shifts that can sometimes leave us feeling confused or disconnected. Because when we understand the developmental needs driving our child's behavior, we can respond with more clarity, compassion, and connection.     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU...

Q&A: How do I help my child sleep independently without pressure?

14 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Whether co-sleeping is actually a problem, or simply a parenting choice that works for some families. How to tell the difference between connection-based co-sleeping and anxiety-driven sleep struggles. Why independent sleep is a skill that develops over time through practice, not pressure. How to support your child's growing independence without making them feel rejected. What it can look like when children naturally begin transitioning out of their parents' bed on their own. How to approach sleep transitions gently if co-sleeping stops working for your family. Why there is no one "right" way to handle sleep arrangements, and how to focus on what works best for your child, your relationship, and your family as a whole. The importance of safe co-sleeping practices and understanding how to co-sleep safely with young children.   This episode will help you feel more confident navigating co-sleeping, independent sleep, and nighttime connection in a way that feels aligned with your family's needs, values, and stage of life.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Stay up to date on the latest podcast episode, tips and tricks, and parenting resources by joining my newsletter. Go to drsarahbren.com, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click "Join my community" to get weekly emails from me.   🎧 Tune into the original question that this episode is a follow up to: Is letting my anxious child sleep in my bed helping or making their anxiety worse?   🔗American Academy of Pediatrics: Safe Sleep   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find t...

The mattering gap: Why so many parents feel invisible, overwhelmed, and disconnected with Jennifer Wallace

45 min

Jennifer Wallace joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked foundation of mental health and resilience: the human need to feel like we matter. While so much of parenting focuses on what we do for our kids, this conversation invites us to look inward, because a child's sense of mattering is deeply shaped by how much their parents feel valued, seen, and significant in their own lives. Drawing from research and real-life stories, we unpack why so many adults today feel invisible, overwhelmed, or defined by achievement, and how that shapes the way we show up in our relationships with our children.   Together we explore:   What it actually means to "matter" and why it's different from self-esteem or a sense of purpose. Why parents today are at risk of feeling like they don't matter, and how that impacts their kids. The connection between mattering, anxiety, burnout, and loneliness. A simple framework for building deeper, more meaningful relationships. Why "delight" is a critical ingredient in helping children feel secure and valued. How to model a healthy sense of self so your child doesn't feel pressure to be your "everything." Practical ways to help kids both feel valued and add value in their families and communities. How showing others they matter can actually be the fastest way to feel like you matter too.   This conversation is a reminder that parenting doesn't happen in a vacuum. When we feel grounded in our own worth, supported by meaningful relationships and a sense of connection, we create the conditions for our children to internalize that same belief: you matter, just as you are.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Jennifer Wallace  📚Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose 📱IG: @jenniferbrehenywallace 🎧 Listen to Jennie's first Securely Attached podcast about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach     LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Ps...

Q&A: How do I tell my child he's going to start therapy?

23 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   Why it's important to tell your child that they are starting therapy (and why many parents avoid it). How to explain therapy in simple, developmentally appropriate language your child will actually understand. Why using your child's own words for their struggles, like "worry" or "big feelings," matters. What to call a therapist and how to describe what they do in a way that makes sense to kids. What to do if your child asks, "Is something wrong with me?" Why getting your child's buy-in matters and how to help them feel invested. How to frame therapy as something the whole family is working on together.   This episode will help you feel more confident in how to approach this conversation, reduce anxiety around starting therapy, and support your child in a way that builds trust, openness, and emotional resilience.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   📚 Want to learn more about talking to your child about going to therapy? Read Upshur Bren Psychology Group's blog article: How to Tell Your Child You're Taking Them to Therapy: A Compassionate, Practical Guide for Parents   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if your child is too young for therapy   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if group therapy would be a good fit for your child     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answe...

Nature vs nurture: Understanding sensitivity, resilience, and what really shapes kids with Dr. Jay Belsky

1 hr 3 min

Dr. Jay Belsky joins the podcast to explore one of the most important and often misunderstood truths in parenting: the same environment does not affect every child the same way. Drawing from decades of research on nature and nurture, this conversation looks at how biology and experience work together to shape development, and why some kids are more sensitive to their environments while others are more resilient.   Together, we explore:   Why some children are more affected by parenting, stress, and environment than others. The difference between sensitivity and susceptibility, and why it matters for long-term development. What "developmental plasticity" is and how it shapes the way kids respond to their experiences. Why resilience is not always a good thing and sensitivity is not always a problem. How nature and nurture work together to shape each child in unique ways. The one thing within a parent's control that can help protect children from adversity. How to shift from trying to control outcomes to supporting the child you have. The difference between "carpenter" parenting and "gardener" parenting, and why it changes everything. How to set realistic expectations for yourself and your child without lowering the bar.   This conversation offers a powerful reframe for parents who feel confused, overwhelmed, or frustrated when what works for one child doesn't work for another. It is about understanding your child as an individual, letting go of the pressure to get it exactly right, and focusing on what truly supports healthy development over time.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Dr. Jay Belsky 📚The Nature of Nurture: Rethinking Why and How Childhood Adversity Shapes Development      LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   📚The Gardener and the...

Q&A: How do I help my toddler cope with an absent parent?

21 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   What the research actually says about attachment and why one strong, secure relationship is enough for healthy development. Why your child asking for the other parent may actually be a sign of a secure attachment, not a problem. How toddler development (around age 2) shapes their awareness of family structure and separation. How to talk about an absent parent in a way that is simple, neutral, and developmentally appropriate. The importance of naming and validating your child's feelings, like sadness, curiosity, or confusion. How your own emotional responses can influence how often your child brings this topic up. Why these questions often show up at bedtime and how to respond while still holding bedtime boundaries.   This episode will help you feel more grounded and reassured in your role as a parent, and more confident in how to support your child through big feelings, hard questions, and family differences in a way that strengthens your connection.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support children experiencing abandonment or separation from a parent     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Creating a calmer home: Using design and organization to support your child's nervous system with Rachel Melvald

52 min Video

Rachel Melvald joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked influence on our children's behavior, mood, and regulation: the spaces they live in. Drawing from her work in Neurodesign, this conversation looks at how our home environment shapes the nervous system and impacts how both kids and parents feel and function.   Together, we explore:   How clutter and visual overwhelm increase cognitive load and dysregulation in kids (and adults). Why fewer toys can actually support more focused, creative, and independent play. How predictable, organized spaces help children feel safer and more regulated. The role of sensory input, like lighting, color, texture, and movement, in shaping behavior and mood. Why natural elements are so powerful for calming the nervous system. How to think about different spaces in your home and the function you want them to serve. Simple, practical changes that can have an immediate impact on how your home feels. How design can support not just individual regulation, but connection, boundaries, and family relationships.   This conversation offers a new lens on parenting, one that goes beyond behavior strategies and focuses on the environment itself. It's about creating spaces that support regulation, connection, and well-being for the whole family.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗https://www.psychitecture.com/  📚NEURODESIGN: The Art and Science of Harmonious Living  📱@rachelmelvald    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗Pikler Triangle  🔗 Toddler Trampoline     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean u...

Q&A: What should I do when my toddler fights diaper changes and refuses to use the potty?

15 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   What to do when your toddler refuses the potty and fights diaper changes, leaving you stuck in a frustrating in-between stage. Why diaper changes and potty training resistance is often less about the potty and more about control and autonomy. Common ways power struggles often show up during diaper changes and potty training. Simple and practical strategies to give your child more agency without losing necessary boundaries to reduce tension and make diaper changes feel less like a battle. Creative strategies to build positive associations with the bathroom. What it looks like to go slower with potty training, and why that can be more effective.   This episode will help you approach diaper changes and potty training with less pressure, more clarity, and practical strategies to reduce the daily struggles while supporting your child's growing independence.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a deep dive into potty training   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how pediatric pelvic health can impact potty training, bed wetting and constipation with Quiara Smith   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your toddler is otherwise potty trained, but still won't poop on the potty   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle potty regressions in older children     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question t...

How to help your child have a healthier relationship with screens: The psychology behind what actually works with Catherine Price

49 min

Catherine Price returns to the podcast to talk about one of the biggest challenges facing parents today: how to help kids build a healthier relationship with screens. Drawing from her new book, The Amazing Generation (co-authored with Jonathan Haidt), this conversation explores how to move from power struggles and fear-based messaging to approaches that build insight, agency, and real buy-in from kids themselves.   Together, we explore:   Why simply telling kids to "get off screens" often backfires. What kids are actually getting from screens (and what they're missing). How to explain to kids that tech companies are designed to capture attention in a way that makes them feel empowered. Why "real world" experiences are critical for development and how screens can crowd them out. Practical ways to support connection and independence without defaulting to smartphones. How to have conversations about screens that don't lead to shutdown or conflict. Simple shifts that can help your child become more aware, reflective, and intentional with technology. Why building a full, engaging life offline naturally reduces screen time.   This conversation is about more than just screen time. It's about helping kids develop the awareness, confidence, and agency to make choices that align with the kind of life they actually want to live, and how we, as parents, can support that process.       LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Catherine Price 📚 The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World 🔗 Free Guide: The Family Guide to Screen/Life Balance: Your 7-Day Plan for Fewer Fights and More Fun 📚 How to Break Up with Your Phone, Revised Edition: The 30-Day Digital Detox Plan 📚 The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again 📱 IG: @catherinepriceofficial  🎧 242. Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Upshur Bren Psychology...

Q&A: How do I support my child with language delays during playdates?

13 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about how to support a child who is struggling to communicate with their peers.   Together we explore:   The difference between scaffolding and helicopter parenting, and how to find the right balance. How your goals for a playdate can shape how much you step in. The role of context, including the child your kid is playing with and how familiar they are with each other. What scaffolding can actually look like in the moment, beyond just helping with words. How narrating and "sportscasting" interactions can support both kids without taking over. How to tune into your child's cues to determine whether something is truly a problem. The trap of overthinking and how to recognize when things might actually be going just fine.   This episode will help you feel more confident in knowing when to step in, when to step back, and how to support your child's social and communication skills in a way that builds both competence and connection.       REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping a child who struggles with perfectionism    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is reading below their grade level, but resistant to going to tutoring    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to...

Lice explained: How to treat it, stop the spread, and skip the shame, from a registered nurse

43 min

Nurse and founder of My Lice Advice, Theresa, joins me to talk about one of the most common (and surprisingly emotional) parenting challenges: lice. While lice is something most families will encounter at some point, it often brings a wave of panic, shame, and overwhelm. But as Theresa explains, it doesn't have to.   Together, we explore:   Why lice has become so stigmatized and what's actually driving the shame parents feel. The biggest myths about lice (including cleanliness and how it spreads). What lice actually is and how it's passed from child to child. How to talk to your child about lice in a way that is calm, clear, and shame-free. What you do not need to clean (and how to avoid unnecessary overwhelm). The most effective ways to treat lice based on current research. What to look for to know a treatment has actually worked. Simple prevention strategies that can reduce the likelihood of future cases. How to stay regulated and approach lice as something manageable, not catastrophic.   This conversation is about more than just lice. It's about how we respond to the unexpected moments in parenting, how we manage our own anxiety, and how we model calm, capable problem-solving for our kids.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 My Lice Advice  💻 My Life Advice on YouTube    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren  🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families  📱IG: @drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   🔗 Nit Free Terminator Lice Comb   👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.     CHECK O...

Q&A: Why does my child go from being fine to melting down in a matter of seconds?

23 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about what to do when your child goes from calm to meltdown in what feels like seconds, especially during everyday moments like turning off the TV, leaving the park, or cleaning up.   Together we explore:   Why going from "0 to 60" is actually more common than you think, especially for sensitive kids. How setting and holding limits can still be the right thing to do, even when it leads to a meltdown. The mindset shift that can help you feel less frustrated when big reactions happen. The role of transitions and why they can feel so much harder for kids than they do for adults. Practical ways to anticipate and soften tough moments before they escalate. How things like hunger, fatigue, and overwhelm can make reactions bigger and faster. Simple strategies like giving warnings, breaking tasks into smaller steps, and joining your child in the process. Why slowing down and pausing can sometimes be more effective than escalating your response.   This episode will help you better understand why your child's reactions can feel so sudden and intense, and how to respond in a way that keeps you grounded, holds your boundaries, and supports your child through those big feelings.       REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   📚The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again   👉Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.   💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from th...

Divorce with less conflict: Co-parenting, emotion regulation, and supporting your kids with Katherine Miller

51 min

Katherine Miller, author of The Emotionally Savvy Divorce and collaborative law professional, joins me to talk about what it actually means to navigate divorce in a way that reduces conflict, supports your well-being, and protects your children.   Together, we explore:   The difference between reacting and responding, and how this shift can change the outcome of conflict. Why most divorce conflict is not actually about what you're fighting about, but what's underneath it. The concept of the "conflict trap" and why the same arguments repeat over and over. Simple strategies to pause in heated moments. How to communicate more effectively with a co-parent, even when they are not being collaborative. What collaborative divorce is and how it helps families reduce conflict and make more thoughtful decisions. Why "winning" in divorce often backfires, especially when children are involved. How to shift the dynamic with a high-conflict partner without escalating the situation.   This conversation is not just about divorce. It's about learning how to use your emotions as information, stay grounded under pressure, and respond in ways that align with your long-term goals.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Miller Law Group   📚 The Emotionally Savvy Divorce: Smart Negotiations for a Clean Break 📱 IG: @millerlaw_ny FB: Miller Law Group NY    LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/  📱 IG: @drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for...

Q&A: When and how should I tell my child about his autism diagnosis?

24 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   Why many parents worry that using the word "autism" might make their child feel different or labeled, and how to think about that fear. What research and clinical experience suggest about telling your child sooner rather than later. How giving a diagnosis a name can actually feel empowering and help your child make sense of their experiences. What it looks like to take a neuroaffirming, strengths-based approach when talking about autism. How to explain autism to a young child in developmentally appropriate, non-pathologizing language.Why this doesn't have to be one big, serious conversation and how to follow your child's lead over time. The value of being the one who defines what autism means for your child, before the world does. Simple ways to normalize and support your child through representation, stories, and everyday conversations.   This episode will help you understand how to talk about neurodiversity in a way that feels simple, affirming, and age-appropriate, so your child can better understand their brain, their strengths, and the ways they experience the world.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported, and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about support options for you and your child.   📚 Different Thinkers: Autism by Katia Fredriksen PhD and Yael Rothman PhD   📚 Wonderfully Wired Brains: An Introduction to the World of Neurodiversity     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help autistic kids build joy, c...

Doulas, birth plans, and anxiety: How to feel more confident and less overwhelmed in pregnancy and postpartum with Sarah Ludwig

54 min

I'm joined by doula, childbirth educator, and founder of Baby To Go, Sarah Ludwig, to talk about what it actually means to prepare for birth and why so many parents feel overwhelmed, anxious, or like they have to "get it right."   Together, we explore:   What a doula actually does and how they support families during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Why pregnancy can increase anxiety, and how to work with it instead of against it. The difference between what you can control and what you can't during birth. How to think about birth plans as flexible "preferences" rather than fixed outcomes. Why trying to control every detail can sometimes make anxiety worse. How to build confidence in your ability to cope, even when things don't go as planned. The role of postpartum planning and why it's often overlooked. How to recognize when anxiety is within a normal range and when it might need more support.   Instead of focusing on creating the perfect plan, this conversation is about building your ability to cope with uncertainty and feel more confident in the process.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗https://www.baby-to-go.com/  🔗Hudson Valley Birth Network  📱IG: @baby_to_go FB: Baby To Go      LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/  📱@drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Click HERE to sign up for my FREE workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!   👉 Click HERE to download my free interactive workbook, My Mental Health Postpartum Checklist, that will help you create a personalized mental health support system for yourself allowing you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast...

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