Chance' Hindir-Lane

Selfish Parenting

A Parenting , Kids & Family and Health & Fitness podcast

#25 in Parenting · 🇳🇬 #128 in Kids & Family · 🇳🇬

About the show

Welcome to Selfish Parenting - where we flip the script on everything society tells you about being a "good parent." I'm Chance Hinder-Lane (@hindirlane), and I'm here to tell you that what society calls selfish, we call sustainable parenting. Tired of the guilt? Done with the burnout culture? Ready to stop people-pleasing your way through parenthood? You're in the right place. This isn't your typical parenting podcast filled with shoulds and shouldn'ts. We're here to give you permission to: Hire help without guilt Prioritize your career AND your kids Say no to activities that drain you Invest in your mental health and identity Maintain adult relationships and interests Spend money on yourself Set boundaries that actually work Every episode, we dive deep into the "selfish" behaviors that research shows actually make you a better parent. From working mothers to stay-at-home parents demanding respect, from therapy to solo vacations - we're covering it all with science, sass, and zero shame. Because here's the truth: Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family. New episodes drop every Monday at 7am Follow @hindirlane for daily doses of sustainable parenting content

Newest episodes

19. Don’t Marry Broke | Why You Need to Be the Rich Man

Nov 2, 2026 31 min

Every time a friend asks me for one piece of marriage advice, I say the same three words: don’t marry broke. And I’m talking about her bank account first. At 18, I let a 30-year-old lawyer fly me and my friends to Vegas, and I couldn’t have named one thing I liked about him besides his wallet. That’s what dating looks like when you can’t pay for your own life. I’m breaking down why your own money is the best partner filter you’ll ever have, what a Dartmouth economist found about women’s marriage choices as their earning power grows, the $5 coffee story I can’t stop thinking about, and the checklist I want every woman to finish before she gets serious with anyone. Research mentioned: Shenhav, Na’ama. “Lowering Standards to Wed? Spouse Quality, Marriage, and Labor Market Responses to the Gender Wage Gap.” The Review of Economics and Statistics, 103(2): 265–279, 2021. In this episode, we cover: The Vegas trip at 18 that showed me exactly where my head was when I couldn’t pay my own wayThe three things you need on you before you go on any dateWhat happens to women’s marriage choices as their paychecks grow, according to the researchThe $5 coffee story, and what it tells you about who really controls the moneyMy four-part money checklist before you get serious, starting with the “F that man” fundHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

18. I Left With a Toddler in Diapers | Starting Over After Divorce with Chef Susanne Dillingham

Oct 5, 2026 55 min

Susanne Dillingham's daughter was 18 months old and still in diapers when Susanne walked away from her marriage. She had spent years building her private chef business, stepped away from it to stay home with her baby, and found herself in a marriage where money never got talked about and the support she needed wasn't there. So she left. She lived off her savings, rebuilt her business, and leaned on her sous chef to get through the days she was falling apart. I first met Susanne over handmade gnocchi at a Charlotte event, and I knew her story belonged on this show. We talk about the codependence she couldn't see while she was in it, what it took to trust her co-parent when bedtime looked different at his house, the story behind her memoir, Secret Ingredients of Life, and a Kingston University study of 10,000 people over 20 years that found women's happiness rises after divorce. If you've ever wondered whether anything is waiting for you on the other side of leaving, this one is for you. Susanne Dillingham is a Florence-trained private chef, the founder of The Tiny Chef, and the author of the memoir Secret Ingredients of Life. Connect with Susanne: InstagramWebsiteGet her book Resources mentioned: Secret Ingredients of Life by Susanne DillinghamEmpower Her Village 17. Changing the Default Parent | Why We Swapped Seats for a Year4. The Truth About “Broken Homes” | A Domestic Violence Survivor’s Story feat. Wadzanai Karanja Research mentioned: "Back to Baseline in Britain: Adaptation in the British Household Panel Survey," Economica (2013), research led by Professor Yannis Georgellis, Kingston Business School In this episode, we cover: Why Susanne walked away when her daughter was still in diapers, and why it felt like her only optionThe flowers on her husband's lunchbox, and how she lost pieces of herself without noticingHow the savings that carried her through also disqualified her from government assistanceLearning to let go when bedtime looks different at the o...

17. Changing the Default Parent | Why We Swapped Seats for a Year

Sep 21, 2026 37 min

Okay, real talk: when your kid wakes up with a 102 fever on a Tuesday morning, whose phone rings first? Whose calendar gets cleared? Whose career takes the permanent hit? We celebrate equality on paper, and then life gets messy, and somehow, the woman's dreams get quietly shelved. For the past year, my husband and I decided to break that. He stepped back, took the primary parent seat, and I went all-in on my career. I was able to launch a non-profit, scale my brand across five countries, and proved that mothers don't have to shrink to make their families thrive. Today, we're breaking down the practical framework for taking turns in marriage, and the four rules that actually make it work. Resources mentioned: Empower Her VillageHarvard Business School Study on Career Precedence in Dual-Income Marriages In this episode, we cover: How to set explicit seasons (not open-ended sacrifice) so one partner can sprint while the other anchors, plus how quarterly check-ins keep both people alignedWhy "mom knows best" is usually just "mom has had more practice" and how to challenge the myth that fathers are less capable caregiversThe four non-negotiable rules for taking turns: set expiration dates, dismantle the default parent reflex at schools/daycares, reframe male caregiving as strategic teamwork, and practice zero micromanagementHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

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All episodes

19. Don’t Marry Broke | Why You Need to Be the Rich Man

Nov 2, 2026 31 min

18. I Left With a Toddler in Diapers | Starting Over After Divorce with Chef Susanne Dillingham

Oct 5, 2026 55 min

17. Changing the Default Parent | Why We Swapped Seats for a Year

Sep 21, 2026 37 min

16. Is Marriage Worth It for Women? Feat. Yvette Henry

Jun 9, 2026 55 min

Marriage can be beautiful, fulfilling, stretching, and deeply intimate, but it is not something I can honestly talk about for women without also talking about the risk, the labor, and the reality of what so many wives are carrying. In this conversation, I sit down with Yvette Henry to talk about what 15 years of marriage has taught her, why she still believes marriage can be worth it, and why I struggle to tell women that marriage is automatically worth it for them. We talk about choosing well, the limits of that advice, unpaid labor, faith-based expectations, the Proverbs 31 woman, emotional exhaustion, and what it means to stop performing wifehood and actually live inside a marriage that makes room for your whole self. Yvette also shares the heart behind her devotional Release, Rest, Remain, and why permission to rest is not something we need to wait for from our husbands, our children, the church, or the world… it is something we have to learn how to give ourselves. Yvette Henry is a homeschooling mother of four, writer, and co-host of the podcast How Married Are You? alongside her husband, Glen. She has been married for 15 years, has built an incredible online community as Mrs. Melanin, and is the author of the devotional Release, Rest, Remain. Connect with Yvette: WebsiteIGPodcastResources mentioned: Release, Rest, Remain by Yvette HenryResearch mentioned: Women gain about seven more hours of housework per week after marriage — University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, Exactly How Much Housework Does a Husband Create?Men do about one hour less housework per week after marriage — University of Michigan Institute for Social Research, Exactly How Much Housework Does a Husband Create?Women initiate 69% of divorces, compared to 31% initiated by men — Michael J. Rosenfeld / American Sociological Association, Women More Likely Than Men to Initiate Divorces, But Not Non-Marital BreakupsWho Wants the Breakup? Gender and Breakup in Heterosexual Couples — Mich...

15. The Mental Load Is the Invisible Job with Paige Connell of @SheIsAPaigeTurner

May 25, 2026 45 min

There is a kind of exhaustion that does not come from doing one more load of laundry or packing one more lunch – it comes from being the person who knows everything that needs to happen before anyone else even thinks to ask. In this episode, I’m joined by Paige Connell, known online as @SheIsAPaigeTurner, for a conversation about the part of the mental load that feels the most frustrating to name out loud: why so many women are expected to manage the home, explain the standards, teach their partners how to participate, and then somehow not feel resentful about it. We talk about default parenting, invisible labor, willing partners, outsourcing, the difference between helping and owning, and what it actually takes to stop being the project manager of your family. Paige Connell is a content creator, writer, speaker, consultant, podcaster, and mom of four. Online, she is known as @SheIsAPaigeTurner, where she creates content about the mental load, equitable partnerships, motherhood, and what it means to build a home where both partners truly participate. Connect with Paige: IGTikTokWebsitePodcastsheisapaigeturner@select.co Resources mentioned: Paige’s Free Guide to the Mental Load ConversationStanford University study on divorce initiation In this episode, we cover: What the mental load looks like when it turns into resentmentWhy “just tell me what to do” still keeps women in chargeThe difference between a partner helping and a partner owning the workHow women end up becoming the default parent without ever agreeing to itWhy teaching a partner can feel unfair, even when the partner is willingHow to know whether you have a willing partner or just a passive oneWhy outsourcing buys back time but does not erase the mental loadThe role of standards, safety, research, and invisible decision-makingHow to talk about the workload before you are already angryWhat our children learn when equity is modeled, not just talked aboutHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is...

14. Unpacking Church Trauma & Refusing to Raise my Daughters in Shame

May 11, 2026 45 min

I grew up in the church. I prayed, I read my Bible, I believed God was the reason my family survived some of the hardest things we ever went through. Faith grounded me, especially as a refugee kid trying to make sense of losing everything and starting over. But I also grew up hearing that my body was a problem, that my value lived in my virginity, that motherhood was my highest calling, and that men’s comfort mattered more than women’s safety. In this episode, I’m talking about Christianity, modesty culture, Mormonism, Congolese churches, motherhood, and the part of faith that still feels confusing for me. I still pray. I still believe in God. I still find comfort in parts of the Bible. I also know I cannot raise my daughters inside the same shame, fear, and patriarchy that made me question my own body, my own freedom, and my own worth. This is where I am right now: grieving the church community I loved, questioning what I was taught, and choosing to teach my children about religion without handing them the trauma that came with mine. Research mentioned: 42% of US adults have deconstructed from Christianity (Barna, Ex-Christians Aren’t the Only Ones Deconstructing Faith) 54% of Gen Z women (compared to 46% of men) have left their formative religions (Dan Foster / Medium, Why Young Women Are Leaving the Church in Droves)40% of women ages 18-29 are now religiously unaffiliated (PRRI, Gen Z, Gender, and Religion)65% of young women believe churches don't treat men and women equally (Survey Center on American Life, Young Women Are Leaving Church in Unprecedented Numbers)In this episode, we cover: Why I stopped searching for a home church after spending years trying to find one that felt safeHow modesty culture taught me to carry shame for a body I was still learning how to live inWhat Mormonism showed me about women doing the work while men held the powerWhy having daughters made me question which parts of church I was willing to pass downThe grief I still feel for the c...

13. Work From Home Isn’t Killing Your Career | Let’s Be Honest About Having It All

Apr 27, 2026 39 min

Work from home is a career killer for women? I disagree a thousand percent. In this episode, I’m challenging the idea that ambition has to come at the expense of your mental health, your time, or your identity. I’m talking about my experience in corporate America as a Black woman, the invisible labor that comes with being in office, what the research actually says about remote work and productivity, and who the “three hour mom” narrative really applies to. Because not all advice is universal, and success should not require you to lose yourself in the process. Stats mentioned: Code switching can cost Black professionals 2–3 hours of mental energy daily (Harvard Business Review, 2019) 64% of Black employees experience at least one racial microaggression per week (McKinsey & Company, 2023) Black women reported a 31% improvement in psychological well-being when working remotely (American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 2022) Remote and hybrid work reduced racial microaggressions by 42% for Black women (SHRM, 2023)Remote workers show a 13% increase in productivity (Stanford Business, 2020)87% of employees report being equally or more productive working from home (Microsoft WorkLab)Remote and hybrid workers report higher engagement than fully in-office employees (Gallup, 2023)In this episode, we cover: Why the “work from home is a career killer” narrative ignores what Black women actually experienceThe real cost of code switching, and why the office is not a neutral spaceWhy being seen at work still doesn’t guarantee being consideredHow communication bias shows up in emails and perceptionThe truth about the “three hour mom” – and what it actually requiresWhat the data really says about productivity at homeWhy you need to be selective about whose advice you followHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurt...

12. TikTok Is Not Real Life | What I Was Posting While My Life Was Falling Apart with Kiana Leroux

Apr 13, 2026 1 hr 2 min

This episode contains graphic depictions of domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788. Kiana built her platform on transparency, but this conversation makes it clear just how much she was holding at the same time. What looked like a happy, growing relationship online was layered with control, instability, and survival behind the scenes – and she was navigating all of it while pregnant, postpartum, and still showing up publicly. We talk about what it actually means to live through something in real time without the luxury of stepping away, how content creation became both an outlet and a lifeline, and why the version of a relationship you see online can be completely real and still not be the full truth. This episode isn’t about exposing social media – it’s about understanding why women stay, why they leave, and what it costs to delay your own healing. Kiana Leroux is a content creator known for her honest, lived-experience advice and transparent storytelling around relationships, motherhood, and personal growth. Connect with Kiana IGTikTokYouTubeStats mentioned: 62% of creators report burnout (Forbes Healthy Study, 2025)65% of content creators experience anxiety and depression (Fast Company & Creator Studies, 2025)In this episode I cover: What’s actually happening behind “happy” relationship contentWhy leaving isn’t always a clean or immediate decisionHow abuse can exist alongside love, success, and visibilityThe role content creation can play when you’re trying to survive somethingWhy “ride or die” culture sets women up to loseThe difference between real connection and emotional intensityWhat it looks like to rebuild while still being watchedHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, a...

11. The Government Doesn't Care About Mothers… So We Built Our Own Village

Mar 30, 2026 22 min

This episode is me saying the quiet part out loud: you are not struggling because you’re doing motherhood wrong. You’re struggling because there is no real support system built for you. I’m introducing Empower Her Village, but this isn’t just an announcement, it’s a response to something I’ve seen over and over again, in my own life and in yours. Mothers who are doing everything “right,” working, showing up, holding it all together, and still can’t afford childcare, therapy, or even basic help at home. Not because they’re irresponsible, but because they fall into a gap no one is talking about. The government has the data. They know mothers are leaving the workforce, they know most can’t access mental health care, and they’ve chosen to do nothing. So instead of continuing to tell you to “prioritize yourself” without giving you the tools to do it, I decided to build something that actually supports you. Because the truth is, it still takes a village… but now that village costs money. And if you don’t have access to it, no amount of advice is going to fix that. Connect with Empower Her Village: WebsiteDonateIGTikTokinfo@empowerhervillage.org Resources mentioned: 2025 U.S. Maternal Mental Health Risk and Resources by CountyWomen say caregiving and child care costs are the No. 1 reason they quit the workforce last year, according to new dataSome key takeaways from this episode are: The “missing middle” is real! Mothers earning too much to qualify for assistance but not enough to afford childcare, therapy, or household help are being left to figure it out alone, and it’s why so many are silently struggling.“Prioritize yourself” is not useful advice if you don’t have the resources to do it. The issue is clearly not that mothers don’t want to take care of themselves. But that they don’t have access to the support that makes it possible.The village still exists, it’s just no longer free. What used to be family and community support now shows up as paid services like childcar...

10. Spanking IS Child Abuse

Mar 10, 2026 51 min

Hitting your child is abuse. It doesn't matter if you call it spanking, whooping, or "a little pat." In this episode, I'm unpacking why corporal punishment has been normalized for so long and why so many parents still believe it's discipline. Growing up in the Democratic Republic of Congo, I saw firsthand how physical punishment was treated as the standard both at home and in schools. But here's what doesn't add up: it's illegal to hit your spouse, illegal to hit your neighbor – yet still legal to hit your child. And if you say "I was hit and I turned out fine," I'm here to tell you… you probably didn't. The real question is this: are you trying to teach your child, or are you trying to make them suffer? Discipline is supposed to come from teaching and repetition, not fear. We talk about the difference between punishment and discipline, why research shows physical punishment harms children's development, the misuse of "spare the rod" in Christian parenting, and what it actually looks like to parent with intention, using redirection, natural consequences, emotional regulation, and clear boundaries instead of violence. Because breaking generational cycles starts with you. Resources mentioned: ”Spanking and Other Physical Discipline Lead to Exclusively Negative Outcomes” (NYU, 2025)”The Effect of Spanking on the Brain” (Harvard, 2021)3 things to understand about disciplining kids without hitting them: Hitting a child might stop a behavior in the moment, but it doesn’t actually teach them what to do instead. Fear shuts down the part of the brain responsible for learning, which means the lesson never lands.Discipline isn’t about punishment – it’s about teaching. Redirection, natural consequences, and consistent boundaries help children understand their choices and build emotional regulation over time.Breaking generational parenting patterns starts with the parent. When you regulate your own emotions, model accountability, and reconnect with your child after conflict, yo...

9. Tradwife or Trapped Wife? | How Stay-at-Home Moms Can Protect Themselves with Trish A. White

Feb 23, 2026 1 hr 15 min

Everyone loves the idea of a stay-at-home mom until the internet starts running the divorce horror stories. So let’s actually talk about it. In this episode, I sit down with Trish White, a stay-at-home mom of three who very intentionally chose this life, and we break down what protection really looks like. Not fear. Not paranoia. Not secret resentment. Real protection. The kind that starts before you ever leave your job. We talk about choosing a partner who doesn’t flinch at your ambition to stay home, why financial transparency matters more than “soft life” aesthetics, what red flags to clock early, and how to build equity, credit, and confidence inside your marriage. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, you absolutely can. But it only works when it’s chosen, supported, and structurally sound. Trish A. White is a stay-at-home mom of three and content creator featured in Essence for her perspective on Black stay-at-home motherhood and the trad-wife conversation, where she shares financial transparency tips, faith-centered family life, and empowered SAHM insight across her social platforms. You can follow Trish on Instagram! 3 Truths About Staying Home That Actually Protect You: The man you choose matters more than any contract. Being a stay-at-home mom starts with the husband. If he flinches at your desire to stay home, doesn’t follow through on his goals, or is emotionally unstable in small conflicts, that instability will grow under pressure. The right partner makes the role feel secure, not risky!Financial access isn’t optional… it’s adult. You should know the accounts, understand the bills, build credit in your name, and sit in on real money conversations. Most stay-at-home vulnerability comes from financial ignorance, not the role itself. Transparency builds trust. Secrecy builds dependency.Preparation should empower you, not scare you. Yes, be on the deed. Yes, understand prenups. Yes, build equity and keep your skills sharp. But protection isn’t about expec...

8. 45% of Women Will Be Single by 2030 | How to Know If You’re Actually Ready for Marriage and Motherhood

Feb 9, 2026 41 min

A lot of people treat marriage and motherhood like deadlines you’re supposed to hit. In this episode, I break down how I think about readiness, not as a timeline, but as an intentional choice that should add to your life, not shrink it. I share what actually mattered to me before getting married, from choosing an exceptional partner to knowing who I was outside of a relationship and being able to financially support myself. Then we get into what real readiness for kids looks like: the costs people don’t talk about, the emotional work that shows up in postpartum and parenting triggers, and the reality that choosing to have children is a lifelong commitment. If you’re going to choose marriage or motherhood, this episode is about choosing it on purpose… not out of pressure, fear, or expectation. Resources mentioned: Rise of the SHEconomy - Morgan Stanley ResearchHealth fertility and age-related pregnancy data - UCSF Facility Research Questions to Ask Yourself Before Marriage or Motherhood: If your partner never changes, same job, same mindset, same habits, would you still want to be with them?Can you financially support yourself without relying on a partner?Do you know who you are outside of a relationship or motherhood?Have you lived independently enough to know what you actually want (living alone, traveling alone, dating different people)?What would you realistically have to sacrifice or give up if you had children?Have you addressed your own childhood trauma and personal triggers?Are you choosing marriage or kids because you truly want them? Or because of fear or societal pressure?Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

7. You’re Not a Single Married Mother | What Real Partnership, Labor & Boundaries Look Like with Colette Louis

Jan 26, 2026 1 hr 11 min

A lot of couples talk about “building together.”Fewer talk about what happens when ambition, money, children, and the internet all enter the relationship at the same time. In this episode, I sit down with Colette Louis to talk about what it actually looks like to grow a marriage while growing businesses – without one partner quietly carrying the invisible weight of it all. We unpack how she and her husband made early decisions about money, labor, and priorities, why outsourcing became a necessity rather than a luxury, and how they protect their relationship in a culture that rewards oversharing. This conversation challenges the idea that doing everything alone is something to be proud of, and offers a more honest picture of partnership, boundaries, and shared responsibility. Colette Louis is a lifestyle creator, wife, mom of two, and entrepreneur who shares honest conversations about motherhood, home, and building a life that feels as good as it looks. She’s the voice behind Simply Colette, where she blends everyday routines with intentional living and soft ambition. Known for turning real life into relatable storytelling, Colette encourages women to move beyond survival mode and step into thriving – at home and within themselves. Through her content and community, she reminds women that growth can be gentle, beautiful, and still powerful. Connect with Colette: WebsiteIGTikTokResources mentioned: Invisible Household Labor and Ramifications for Adjustment: Mothers as Captains of HouseholdsIn this episode, we cover: What it really means to build a business with your spouseWhy “equal” doesn’t always mean “fair” when it comes to labor at homeHow invisible labor contributes to burnout and resentmentOutsourcing as a strategic decision, not a moral failureSetting boundaries online to protect your marriage offlineWhy help isn’t optional if you want sustainability, not survivalHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges t...

6. Having Kids IS Selfish (And That’s Okay) | Why Being Child-Free Is Sometimes the Selfless Choice

Jan 12, 2026 42 min

We keep hearing that the birth rate is falling, the economy is panicking, and somehow the solution lives in women’s bodies. In this episode, I’m saying the quiet part out loud: every reason to have children is selfish -- and that’s not a bad thing. As a mother of four, I unpack why choosing not to have children is not selfish at all, but often an act of self-preservation. Through my own birth stories, research on maternal health, and the realities no one puts on the baby shower invitation, this episode challenges the idea that women owe their bodies, or their lives, to society. Motherhood should always be a choice, never a moral obligation. Resources mentioned: Diary of a CEO podcast episode featuring Dr. Erica Komisar (discussion on declining birth rates and women’s autonomy)In this episode, I cover: Why women’s bodies are not economic policy or national resourcesThe real, lifelong physical and mental costs of pregnancy and childbirthWhy there is no truly “selfless” reason to have children, and why honesty mattersHow child-free women often help hold families and communities togetherA practical decision framework to help you decide if having (or having more) children is right for youHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

5. Why Am I Like This? | How Healing Your Past Changes Your Future with Kobe Campbell, LCMHC

Dec 31, 2025 1 hr 22 min

When you think about the personal rules you follow while parenting your children, how many of those are shaped by an experience you’ve had in your life? Chances are, at least one or two of the daily decisions you make are shaped by trauma. That’s why I’m so excited to have Kobe Campbell, an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, on the podcast! We discuss how trauma impacts our lives, why you should stop dismissing your trauma as “not that bad,” and the role trauma therapy can play in helping us heal. Kobe Campbell, LCMHC is an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, bestselling author, speaker, and entertainment consultant. As a seminary-trained therapist, she specializes in helping people understand how their past shapes their present through her signature work on inner child healing and breaking generational cycles. Her 4x #1 Amazon bestselling book, Why Am I Like This? How to Break Cycles, Heal From Trauma, and Restore Your Faith has transformed thousands of lives by combining evidence-based therapy with faith-filled compassion. Connect with Kobe: Why Am I Like This? by Kobe CampbellInstagramTikTokYouTubeSome key takeaways from this episode include: If something happened to you that changed the way you interact with the world, it was probably a traumatic event. Even if it didn’t impact people around you, or “doesn’t seem that bad” compared to what others have been through, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic.There are two things we might develop as a result of trauma: adaptive practices and maladaptive practices. Adaptive practices might keep you healthy and safe, but maladaptive practices can result in you repeating generational trauma or keeping loved ones at arm’s length.The growth and healing you experience in therapy will hopefully cover you for a lifetime, but healing isn’t linear and it happens over the course of your whole life. You might go to therapy for six months, then feel good and not need therapy for years, then go back when you notice unhealt...

4. The Truth About “Broken Homes” | A Domestic Violence Survivor’s Story feat. Wadzanai Karanja

Dec 15, 2025 1 hr 10 min

This episode contains graphic depictions of domestic violence. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text “START” to 88788. Leaving isn’t the hard part. It’s admitting to yourself that what you’ve been calling “home” has been hurting you. In this episode, I sit down with Wadzanai Karanja, a domestic violence survivor and single mother, to talk about the red flags she didn’t yet know to name, the years of isolation that kept her far from help, and the moment she chose safety over staying. We also break down the research that debunks the idea that children need two parents under one roof to thrive, and dig into what emotional safety, stability, and real community support actually look like for single mothers rebuilding their lives on their own terms. Wadzanai Karanja is a survivor, a mother, and a passionate voice for women choosing safety over expectation. Her story is a powerful reminder that protecting your child sometimes begins with protecting yourself. Resources mentioned: Journal of Marriage and Family: Longitudinal study on children leaving high-conflict homes (1,400 participants)American Psychological Association: Resilience in stable single-parent householdsNational Center for Health Statistics: Maternal education as a protective factorIn this episode, we cover: The early red flags of coercive controlHow isolation and fear keep women from leavingWhy many “traditional” family norms harm more than they helpWhat the research says about single-parent stabilityHow community becomes a lifeline for survivorsA parenting truth that might change how you view “broken homes”Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - Chanc...

3. The “Right Choice” Myth | Why Both Working & Stay-at-Home Mothers Matter

Dec 1, 2025 34 min

From the “boss babe” stereotype to the “trad wife” trend, social media has a lot to say about what it means to be a good mother, and it can be tempting to compare and measure these mothers against each other. In this episode, I want to explore why both working mothers and stay-at-home mothers are valid. I’m unpacking the research that shows the benefits of both, sharing my own experiences following each path, and empowering you to set boundaries and practice self-care no matter which path you choose. Resources mentioned: Harvard Business Review: "Learning from Mum: Cross-National Evidence Linking Maternal Employment and Adult Children's Outcomes" (2015)University of Michigan Institute for Social Research: Attachment and Parental Availability StudyDevelopmental Psychology Meta-Analysis: Maternal Employment and Child OutcomesIn this episode, I cover: The benefits of being a stay-at-home parentThe benefits of being a working parentHow both paths support your family financiallyHow to choose the best path for you and your familyAction steps to ask for help and set boundaries as a motherMy motherhood hot take that might surprise youHosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

2. More Than a Paycheck: What a Modern Provider Actually Looks Like feat. Julien Lane

Nov 17, 2025 1 hr 1 min

If you have a great relationship with your father, I bet that the thing that’s most important to you about that bond isn’t that he provided for your family financially. It was his emotional support and intentional presence that made that relationship special. And who else would be a better guest to talk about fatherhood than my husband, Julien Lane? You might know him as “Homey” (if you know, you know), but Julien is the true embodiment of modern fatherhood. From holding space for our family’s feelings and helping us emotionally regulate, to modeling what it looks like to be a supportive husband, we talk about all things fatherhood in the year 2025. Resources mentioned: Father Involvement and Children's Academic Achievement - Journal of Marriage and Family, 2016Book Rec: Fair Play by Eve RodskeyThe Fair Play Deck: A Couple's Conversation Deck for Prioritizing What's ImportantSome key takeaways from this episode include: Being a present father is about WAY more than your financial contributions. When you spend time being invested - and I mean emotionally invested and physically present - in your kids’ lives, it improves their development and leads to a healthy bond well into their adulthood.According to this study, children with highly involved fathers scored 15% higher on cognitive development tests. Sons showed 35% better emotional regulation. Daughters had 27% higher self-esteem. Our biggest tip for being a more intentional father? Learn the mental load without being asked. Get to know your family’s daily, weekly, and monthly routines and rhythms. How can you take ownership of some of those routines?Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

1. Permission to Be Selfish: The Framework

Nov 3, 2025 41 min

Welcome to the Selfish Parenting Podcast! If you are feeling burnt out on parenthood and like these kids have got to go, you just walked into the right party! In this episode, I’m kicking off this podcast with why I named the podcast Selfish Parenting (and if that name gave you pause… keep listening!), my four-part Selfish Parenting Framework, and the research-backed evidence that being a happy, fulfilled parent leads to raising happy, fulfilled, and pretty successful kids. 🤎 We’d love to hear from you! Send us your parenting questions and hot takes at selfishparenting@gmail.com! Our favorite submissions will be featured on the show. Resources mentioned: Happy Mothers, Successful Children: Effects of Maternal Satisfaction on Child Outcomes* by Dimitrios Nikolaou | The Ohio State UniversityUrbanSitter Childcare and Home Care ServicesPoplin Laundry ServiceSome key takeaways from this episode include: A study at The Ohio State University found that a 10% increase in maternal happiness predicts social skills improvement equivalent to a $62,000 annual income increase. Okay numbers!!It is crucial to maintain your identity outside of motherhood. That’s why it’s one of the pillars of the Selfish Parenting Framework. It is such a gift to show your kids what it looks like to be a multi-passionate adult and pursue all those passions while your kids are young.When it comes to outsourcing, start small. You don’t need to start with a full-time nanny and a personal chef. Hire a babysitter for a couple hours a day, a few days a week, so you can have some time for self-care.Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

Welcome to Selfish Parenting with Chancè Hindir-Lane

Nov 1, 2025 1 min

Hosted by Chancé Hindir-Lane, Selfish Parenting is the honest, empowering podcast that challenges the myth of self-sacrifice in motherhood. Each episode explores identity, partnership, and the balance between nurturing your family and yourself. Connect with Me: InstagramShop MyLTKYouTube - ChancèYouTube - Selfish ParentingTikTok

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19. Don’t Marry Broke | Why You Need to Be the Rich Man

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Podcast details

Created by: Chance' Hindir-Lane
Status: Active
Latest episode: Nov 2, 2026
Episodes: 20
Release period: Every two weeks
Avg. episode length: 48 min
Explicit: No
Language: English

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