The Rules
78 episodes · showing the newest 78
33 min
Comedian, actor and writer Joz Norris encourages Simon to help him ignore his friends on public transport and ostracise them at parties if they talk too much. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
27 min
Award-winning stand-up and writer Andrea Hubert joins forces with Simon to protect themselves against the violent backlash to their righteous indignation. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 min
Comedian, actor and one half of The Lovely Boys, Will Robbins (Talking Good) demands that Simon help stop people running on pavements, having fun at the fair and offering him pudding when he goes round for dinner. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
34 min
Award-winning comedian, writer and podcaster Glenn Moore (BudPod / Button Boys) insists Simon help prevent him from always giving up his seat for pregnant people, picking up dust with his bare feet and being labelled a potential litterer. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 min
In the eighth compilation episode, Simon is joined by Chloe Petts to rebuild society in the image of Noddy, Robbie Knox to make airports run more efficiently with electric shocks and Sunil Patel to dump curries on people's heads and punch them in the face. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 min
In the seventh compilation episode, Simon is joined by Matt Lucas to banish Nutella enthusiasm, Eryn Tett to end the tyranny of the star-based review system and Eshaan Akbar to pluck dalliers from ticket barriers with giant claws. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 min
In the sixth compilation episode, Simon is joined by Matt Forde (The Political Party) to make fat cats be respectful to waiters, Kate Barron to bring dog owners to heel and Rich Fulcher (Talkbox) to shame seat pigs. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
32 min
In the fifth compilation episode, Simon is joined by Alasdair Beckett-King (Loremen / Alasdair & Eleanor Read That) to put opera twats in their place, Shalaka Kurup (Hard Lines) to stop people disrespecting time and Jordan Brookes to consider loading everyone into the Matrix. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 min
In the fourth compilation episode, Simon is joined by Matt Crosby (Pappy's) to curb his family's obsession with opening packets of cheese, Eleanor Morton (Alasdair & Eleanor Read That) to clean up streets covered in phlegm and Chris Cantrill (Icklewick FM / Rural Concerns) to make sure train seats are for bums not bags. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
In the third compilation episode, Simon is joined by Elis James (Elis James & John Robins) to ensure everyone laughs at his jokes, Lorna Rose-Treen (Time of the Week) to bring a halt to unwarranted tickling and Jake Bhardwaj (Joe Marler Will See You Now / The Pub Quiz Pod) to limit people's access to dad-jokes. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
28 min
In the second compilation episode Simon is joined by Rhys James to quell the chaos on pavements, Finlay Christie to abolish awkward conversations about money and Annie McGrath to make lidos great again. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
In the first compilation episode, Simon is joined by Tom Parry (Pappy's) to make house buying a breeze, Rob Copland to reign in food influencers and Sikisa to bring equality to weeing in public. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 min
Legendary stand-up and presenter Russell Howard (Five Brilliant Things) guides Simon towards diffusing hatred with pensioners dressed as animals and gluing society together with pranks. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
32 min
Comedian and director Stuart Laws (Week Minded Podcast) helps Simon invoke God to humble bad drivers and one-man bands to prevent people standing too close in queues. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 min
Comedian, artist and podcaster Poppy Hillstead (Poppy Hillstead Has Entered The Chat) encourages Simon to punish wrongdoers by putting their avatar into a digital nightmare inspired by Hideo Kojima and her Uncle Dave. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
Award-winning comedian, writer and podcaster Dane Buckley (Welcome to Hell) schools Simon in the art of tea-making and launches a mutiny to take over the Rulebook itself. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
25 min
Award-winning stand-up Evaldas Karosas implores Simon to make cities more like villages by introducing everyone to each other's mothers and divvying up the world's information. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
33 min
Stand-up, writer and presenter Andrew White insists Simon introduce rules to make supermarkets honour their deals, charity shops keep their prices low and football bores stop ruining games for everyone around them. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
34 min
Multi-award-winning stand-up and writer Heidi Regan urges Simon to silence disruptive noises with withering insults and beefeaters. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
32 min
Writer and Youtuber Mark Cooper-Jones (Map Men) encourages Simon to figure out rules that make it easier for him to talk with strangers and get rid of everybody's pets. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 min
Writer, producer, author and stand-up Ashley Blaker (BBC Radio 4's Hyperfixations) begs Simon to make people stop starting conversations about his tattoos and start stopping at zebra crossings. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
26 min
Writer, actor, comedian and podcaster Tom Crowley (Crowley Time, with me Tom Crowley) persuades Simon to help eradicate meat walls on train platforms with hopscotch and dedicated perv-carriages. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
Comedian, actor and presenter Abi Clarke guides Simon towards dramatically restricting small talk and dramatically expanding self-service checkouts and car horns. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
27 min
Stand-up and actor Lenny Sherman goes into business with Simon to stop people over-sharing their phone conversations and over-feeding their neighbours' cats. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
Internationally renowned stand-up and podcaster John Hastings encourages Simon to adopt a more North-American attitude to bad drivers and morons by throwing small rocks and bags of ****. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 min
Comedian, writer, actor and presenter Kyrah Gray implores Simon to fill the streets with gravel to make tackling rude people more effective and remake disappointing TV show finales to stop the creation of new traffic wardens. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
27 min
Celebrated stand-up Neil O'Rourke helps Simon control K-munters and seat encroachers by filtering gilets and putting Michael Palin in a box. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
35 min
Comedian, writer and co-host of Oh What A Time Tom Craine helps Simon improve everyone's mood with showers and 90s-themed sleepovers. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
32 min
Actor, comedian and producer Jacob Edwards joins Simon to tackle dodgy deliveries and malfunctioning machinery by holding fat cats to account. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
27 min
Award-winning comedian, writer and storyteller Marjolein Robertson helps Simon attempt to spark conversations on the tube and find a way to stop people dropping litter for good. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
33 min
Stand-up, writer and Edinburgh Comedy Awards Best Newcomer winner Toussaint Douglass insists Simon induct rules to improve self-checkouts and ensure that everyone waves at his son. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
25 min
Comedian, director and Roast Battle Champion James Mileham enlists Simon to stop people trying to be cool and find a way to make sure everyone has a good name. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
26 min
Always Be Comedy's James Gill helps Simon quell male rage with the assistance of Jason Statham and curb unsolicited advice with QR codes. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
Stand-up and writer Chloe Petts helps Simon counter chaos on the streets, the injustice of vending machines and the total mess that is the world wide web. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 min
Comedy legend Matt Lucas joins Simon to sort out the problems of improvised toothpicks, impersonal e-cards and improper exaltation of Nutella. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
25 min
Writer, stand-up and producer of Russell Howard's Five Brilliant Things, Dan Atkinson urges Simon to stop people dancing like nobody's watching by drastically reducing the size of human settlements. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
28 min
Stand-up and social media comedian Sam Picone helps Simon come up with rules to make internet users and binmen behave themselves. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
25 min
Multi-award-winning comedian, writer and actor Lorna Rose Treen invites Simon to consider rules to end the tyranny of tickling and kick-start the next stage of human evolution. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
26 min
Writer and stand-up Steve Hall presents Simon with rules to stop people making spam phone calls, sending intrusive emails and projecting irritating noises. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
27 min
Stand-up, writer and actor Aideen McQueen joins Simon to dole out slap-based retribution and ensure that we can all listen in to other people's public phone calls. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 min
Joe Marler Will See You Now and The Pub Quiz Podcast's Jake Bhardwaj joins Simon to keep Dad jokes to the minimum and get his Dad's knowledge of pop culture to the maximum. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
31 min
Stand-up and writer Nick Elleray employs Simon to give everyone plenty of personal space and a nice quiet life. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
Stand-up and social media star Alfie Dundas coerces Simon into controlling the rich and stupid by testing their contribution to society and forcing those who come up short into combat for our entertainment. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
32 min
Award-winning stand-up Samira Banks inspires Simon to induct rules to control jobsworths and ensure that people put in more effort when they lie. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
27 min
Comedian, broadcaster and impressionist Matt Forde joins Simon to figure out how to stop people being rude to waiters by curtailing obsession with status. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
33 min
Edinburgh Comedy Award winning Jordan Brookes inspires Simon to use complex computer simulations and child labour to stop people dropping apple cores. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
25 min
Writer, actor and producer Michael Stranney helps Simon get to grip with people who don't respect fellow tube passengers or communal fridges. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
29 min
The one and only Rich Fulcher helps Simon figure out how to stop bus seat blockers and remind his kids to put on their socks. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
30 min
Writer, podcaster and comedian Eleanor Morton encourages Simon to introduce rules to curb public spitting and avoid boring conversations. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
33 min
Stand-up and actor Andy Field joins Simon to inspire driving empathy and psychedelic misadventure. Sign up to The Rules' Patreon (patreon.com/therules) to get new episodes a week early and listen to extended versions with some of your favourite guests. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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