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Dr. Nicole Perez

The U Problem with Dr. P

A Relationships and Society & Culture podcast

#99 in Relationships · 🇵🇰
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About the show

Life gets messy — and let’s be honest, most of us don’t come with an instruction manual. That’s where Dr. Nicole Perez comes in. On The U Problem podcast, she cuts through the noise with raw honesty and a healthy dose of humor, helping you see your struggles for what they really are — and showing you how to work through them. It’s not about quick fixes or sugarcoating. It’s about real talk, real advice, and real growth. If you’re ready to laugh, reflect, and actually move forward, Dr. P’s got your back.

Newest episodes

Caller 29-My Grief Feels like an Infectious Disease

12 min

In this episode of "The U Problem with Dr. P," Dr. Nicole Perez (Dr. P) talks to Caller #29 whose grief feels like an infectious disease. The caller shares her journey of dealing with the tragic loss of her two daughters in a car accident and how she feels isolated by friends and co-workers who don't know how to act around her. Dr. P offers her compassion, support, and professional advice on how to navigate her profound grief and loneliness.​ ⁨@TheUProblemwithDr.P⁩  #Grief #ChildLoss #MentalHealth #TheUProblem #DrNicolePerez #GriefSupport #TraumaRecovery

Caller 28-Trust the Evidence

7 min

In this episode of The U Problem, Dr. Nicole Perez talks with a caller who is a lifelong "overthinker" struggling with the burden of chronic indecision. Their conversation uncovers how a childhood shaped by an alcoholic parent and "transactional" relationships created a mental environment where self-trust is constantly undermined by internal debate.

Caller 27-Being Loud Isn't Being Clear

11 min

In this episode of The U Problem with Dr. P, psychologist Nicole Perez (Dr. P) talks with a 50-year-old man navigating a communication disconnect with his partner. The caller is a self-described "loud and animated" talker, while his partner comes from a background where talking about feelings isn't the norm. Dr. P challenges the caller to consider how his high-energy communication style might be affecting his partner. She uses the analogy of being in a foreign country: if you're speaking a language someone doesn't understand, getting louder doesn't make you any clearer.

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All episodes

Caller 29-My Grief Feels like an Infectious Disease

12 min

In this episode of "The U Problem with Dr. P," Dr. Nicole Perez (Dr. P) talks to Caller #29 whose grief feels like an infectious disease. The caller shares her journey of dealing with the tragic loss of her two daughters in a car accident and how she feels isolated by friends and co-workers who don't know how to act around her. Dr. P offers her compassion, support, and professional advice on how to navigate her profound grief and loneliness.​ ⁨@TheUProblemwithDr.P⁩  #Grief #ChildLoss #MentalHealth #TheUProblem #DrNicolePerez #GriefSupport #TraumaRecovery

Caller 28-Trust the Evidence

7 min

In this episode of The U Problem, Dr. Nicole Perez talks with a caller who is a lifelong "overthinker" struggling with the burden of chronic indecision. Their conversation uncovers how a childhood shaped by an alcoholic parent and "transactional" relationships created a mental environment where self-trust is constantly undermined by internal debate.

Caller 27-Being Loud Isn't Being Clear

11 min

In this episode of The U Problem with Dr. P, psychologist Nicole Perez (Dr. P) talks with a 50-year-old man navigating a communication disconnect with his partner. The caller is a self-described "loud and animated" talker, while his partner comes from a background where talking about feelings isn't the norm. Dr. P challenges the caller to consider how his high-energy communication style might be affecting his partner. She uses the analogy of being in a foreign country: if you're speaking a language someone doesn't understand, getting louder doesn't make you any clearer.

Caller 26-The End of an Affair is a Blessing

7 min

In this episode of The U Problem, Dr. Nicole Perez (Dr. P) talks with a caller who is reeling from the sudden end of an eight-year-old connection that recently turned into a physical affair. After months of intense communication and emotional involvement, her partner in the affair abruptly cut off all contact, leaving her feeling hurt and abandoned. Dr. P provides a reality check, reframing the painful silence as a "blessing in disguise" and encourages the caller to use this closure to re-evaluate her current relationship and the underlying issues that led to the affair. Through candid advice and empathy, Dr. P helps the caller see that while the ending hurts, it offers a rare opportunity for self-reflection and a fresh start.

Caller 25 - Free to be Me, Fetishes and All

6 min

In this candid episode of "The U Problem with Dr. P," Dr. Nicole Perez (Dr. P) talks with a caller, a straight, heterosexual man who has lived with a secret for decades. He opens up about his lifelong affinity for shiny spandex leggings and cat-suits—a preference he has kept hidden due to societal pressures and the fear of being labeled. Dr. P challenges the "fetish" label, reframing the caller's interest as a personal style choice and a source of sensory comfort rather than something scandalous. She encourages him to move past the anxiety of being judged by strangers and instead focus on educating those he loves. By shifting the perspective from a "secret" to a form of self-expression, Dr. P helps the caller find the confidence to embrace what makes him feel free and comfortable.

Caller 24-After a Decade of F- Boys

10 min

In this episode of "The U Problem with Dr. P," Dr. Nicole Perez (Dr. P) talks to a 51-year-old woman who has spent the last decade in a series of casual "situationships" after a 22-year marriage. She discusses her pattern of dating men she knows aren't right for her, and Dr. P helps her realize that this might be a way of protecting herself from the vulnerability of a serious relationship. Dr. P encourages her to think about what she really wants—whether it's a stable, consistent relationship or the freedom she's currently enjoying. The episode ends with Dr. P challenging the caller to be honest with herself about her fears and to make a decision about the kind of intimacy she wants in her life.

Caller 23-You Are the Boss of Your Vajayjay

9 min

Are you driving the boat, or is your coping mechanism steering you into a storm? In this episode of The U Problem with Dr. P, our caller opens up about her journey through recovery and the "hyper-sexual" habits she built to protect herself during a season of intense grief.Dr. Nicole Perez delivers a hilarious yet deeply moving wake-up call on the difference between enjoying intimacy and letting old patterns run your life. It’s time to stop letting your history lead and start realizing that you are the one in the driver’s seat."You’re driving the boat, not your vajajay... You go like, ‘Vajajay? I’m in charge here. I’m driving the car. You’re not driving the car.’" — Dr. Nicole Perez

Caller 22-Don't Let Your Superpower Destroy You

7 min

Ever feel like your brain has too many tabs open and they’re all playing different music? 🧠🎶Dr. P explains why that intense, saturated way of feeling the world is both a gift and a total wrecking ball. It’s time to stop bouncing off the walls and start building some guardrails."On one hand, you're like, 'This is amazing, I can freeze s***!' And on the other hand, it's like, 'Ok, I freeze everything I touch so this is not working for me." - Dr. Nicole Perez

Caller 21-From Dom Daddy to PTA Daddy

8 min

Relationships can take a lot of unexpected turns... for example, you may not expect to wake up married and co-parenting one day with your chatroom "playmate." But alas, on this episode of The U Problem with Dr. P, our caller gets real about the awkward evolution of a marriage that started with "scuba diving" and ended up in the suburbs. Reflecting on the slowed down pace of their former favorite activities, Dr. P says the best is yet to come. "They say the last season is the best season ... Look at it as a long period of anticipation." -- Dr. Nicole Perez

Caller 20-It's Time to Hang Up the Gloves

8 min

You can't squeeze orange juice from a lemon. On this episode of The U Problem with Dr. P, a grown-a** woman is tired of the toxic, on-and-off again relationship she has with her mother -- a cycle that recently landed her in the emergency room. Although her caller is desperate to cultivate a healthy relationship with her mother, Dr. P assures her, she's fighting a losing battle. "Sometimes we have to leave people... because we’ve evolved past the nonsense and the dysfunction." — Dr. Nicole Perez

Caller 19-Children Grow Up to be Adults

8 min

How do you move forward when a decade of silence stands between you and your children? 💔After a lengthy separation from her children, an anxious mother is preparing for reconciliation. Dr. P tells her she can't move forward when she's stuck in the past, advising her to let go of the anger she feels toward those who separated them and welcome her kids into her life as a healthy, loving parent... despite what they may have been told about her. "Children remain hopeful that at some point they will be able to have a relationship with their family of origin... (they) tend to go, you know what, I'll give you a pass, and I'll give you another pass ... Until there's no more passes to give." - Dr. Nicole Perez

Insecure-Partner_Picker

7 min

Are you constantly picking partners who don't respect your independence? Watch as Dr. P helps a caller navigate the difficulties of being with an insecure partner who struggles to give her space. Learn how to recognize the signs of insecurity in your relationships and how to set healthy boundaries.

Reflections From A Reformed Cheater

12 min

Ever wonder what drives someone to infidelity—and if they can truly change? In this episode of The U Problem, Dr. Nicole Perez talks with a "reformed cheater" who opens up about his journey from pathological infidelity to finding self-respect and commitment." Loyalty is about self-respect." — Dr. Nicole Perez Watch the full conversation to learn more about the psychology behind infidelity and the path to reform. #relationships #infidelity #selfgrowth #TheUProblemwithdrp #DrNicolePerez #personalgrowth #commitment #relationshipadvice

What You Do Is Not Who You Are

8 min

Caller #16 opens up about her journey: finding self-esteem through nude modeling after a divorce and weight gain, and then turning it into an educational business on sexual health.Dr. P’s key takeaway? Your self-image doesn't depend on what you do, but on owning who you are and letting go of what others think.It's about finding what you're passionate about and pursuing it healthily. Don't let the judgment of others define you! Listen to the full episode of "The U Problem with Dr. P" for more on self-image, career, and overcoming stigmas.

Own The Sh*tshow

14 min

Dr. P discusses how true healing is like a company changing management. You clear out what doesn't work so the new, healthy system can thrive. If you've done the healing work, you need to look at your social dynamics—are they yielding the results you want? Listen to the full episode of The U Problem with Dr. P for more insights!

Loneliness in Sobriety

7 min

Starting a life of sobriety is a huge accomplishment, but it can feel incredibly lonely when your old social circle disappears. This week's caller (30) is navigating this difficult transition after 16 years of addiction.Dr. P confirms: A major life change like sobriety is like a "windchime"—everything around you moves and sounds different. The people you knew before were only able to relate to the person who was "not fully integrated"Watch the full episode for Dr. P’s heartfelt and straight-talking advice on building a new social circle.

No More Circling the Drain

9 min

Are you "on-again, off-again" after a breakup? 💔 This week's caller is feeling bored and uncertain a month after ending her one-year relationship.Dr. P warns: You cannot be "dipping your toes in two ponds". Be truly done with the old relationship before you look for the new one!Watch the full episode for advice on how to get out of the "danger zone" and start your next chapter.

Is He 52... or Just Feigning Helplessness?

10 min

Age is just a number... unless you're using it to dodge responsibilities! 🙄 This week's caller (30) is frustrated because her 52-year-old husband is using his age as an excuse for being "helpless" and avoiding housework or going out.Dr. P calls BS! 🗣️ 52 is NOT too old to cook, have sex, or be an active partner. It's a case of feigned helplessness to shift the burden onto his younger wife.If he's acting 80 when he's only 52, it's time to demand a partnership and a middle ground! Watch the episode for Dr. P's advice on confronting the "age excuse".

The (Holiday) Ham Gets Eaten

7 min

Caught in the middle of holiday family political fights? 🥪 Dr. P has a warning for this week's caller: "You are the ham of the sandwich that gets eaten!" If your family's "humor" is just designed to provoke your partner, the conflict isn't about politics—it's about disrespect. Stop mediating and set a boundary on the behavior, not the topic. Listen to our latest episode of The U Problem with Dr. P to learn how to validate your partner and tell your family to cool it!

There is Redemption in the Truth

8 min

There is redemption in the truth. 💡 The toughest conversations are the ones that save your relationships. Be direct, honest, and always explain the “why” to give them a chance to understand … If you want to preserve a relationship, you need to be willing to face the anxiety of confrontation.

Paralyzed

11 min

A woman calls Dr. P, feeling overwhelmed and "paralyzed" by her veteran husband's severe, unregulated PTSD, which involves screaming and emotional abuse, despite him being highly respected in the community. She is confused about whether to stay, especially since her daughter is now recording the abuse. Dr. P emphasizes that the caller's confusion is her "U problem," and she cannot wait for her husband to change or for external validation. Dr. P firmly advises the caller to fully commit to a stable therapeutic environment for herself to gain clarity, stating that a decision about the marriage can only be made once she is no longer emotionally "paralyzed" and living in a confusing "rabbit hole."

Get It Notarized, Babe

4 min

A caller describes a highly unusual but brilliant arrangement with her boyfriend: a notarized, exclusive "sex contract" detailing their boundaries and desires. The problem is that her boyfriend, who is leading the role-playing, is hesitant to let her take the creative reins. Dr. P advises the caller not to worry about asking for "more," but rather to leverage the contract by asking her boyfriend to specify the limits or things he is unwilling to do (the "not-in-the-contract" items). This creates space for her to explore creative ideas without stepping on his unspoken boundaries.

You Have Nothing to Lose

8 min

A 55-year-old educated woman calls Dr. P, frustrated and feeling "tainted" because she has been unable to find a comparable partner after being divorced for ten years, despite trying dating apps. Dr. P quickly identifies the caller's main problem: she's not putting herself out there as the independent woman she is. Dr. P strongly advises her to focus on being confidently alone in public (like reading a book at a restaurant) and pursuing her own hobbies, rather than searching. Dr. P insists that if the caller exhibits her independent spirit, she will attract an intellectually suitable and independent partner. The call ends with the caller expressing renewed motivation, inspired by Dr. P's personal story.

There's Nothing Funny About This

8 min

A woman calls Dr. P, overwhelmed by her husband's escalating, unpredictable behavior over the last seven years, which included calling her a "monster," moving to the basement, and hiding alcohol, following the death of his mother and a job loss. The caller is desperately trying to save the marriage. Dr. P emphasizes that the husband is dealing with a severe "him problem" (likely an existential crisis or unaddressed mental health issue) that the caller cannot fix. Dr. P's primary advice is for the caller to heed her marriage counselor's advice, focus entirely on her own "U problem" by managing her anxiety first, and achieve clear thinking so she can decide the best path forward for herself, regardless of her husband's participation.

He's Not Gonna Talk About His Feelings.. But You Can

6 min

He won't talk about his feelings, but you need to hear this! 🎧 Dealing with an aging parent's frustration or anger can feel impossible, especially when they won't accept help. In this episode, Dr. P tackles a caller struggling with his short-fused father. The breakthrough? Recognize that your dad's volatility might stem from the loss of control over his own life. The "problem" might actually be your need to find grace and compassion to navigate the role reversal. Sometimes, the only person who needs to talk about their feelings... is you. Listen to "The U Problem with Dr. P" – Caller #5: "He's Not Gonna Talk About His Feelings..."

Ghosted

3 min

On "The U Problem" this week, Dr. P takes a call from a woman who is tired of being ghosted. She finds that after three or four months of dating, the men she's seeing become emotionally unavailable. She wants to know how to shift her energy and find a healthier relationship. Dr. P quickly identifies the caller's "you problem"—she's putting up with men who are already emotionally unavailable. Dr. P's advice is clear: stop sugarcoating, blow up the relationship if it's not working, and move on. You have no time to waste on people who aren't ready to commit - "If you can't provide me with x, y, z, take a hike."

Drop the Pom Poms

1 min

On this week's "The U Problem," Dr. P addresses a common issue: the fear of being disliked. A caller explains her struggle with constantly replaying conversations and worrying about what others think. Dr. P offers a simple solution: drop the pom-poms. She encourages the caller to stop being a cheerleader for everyone else and start being a real friend by telling the truth, even if it's not what others want to hear - "If you can't tell them the truth, then are they really your friends?"

A People Pleaser's Problem

2 min

On the latest episode of "The U Problem," Dr. P talks to a woman caught in a classic people-pleaser dilemma. After a friend gets upset about a missed get-together, the caller feels pressured to go on a girls' trip she's not interested in. Dr. P offers her signature blunt advice: Sometimes, you just can't be nice to everyone. You have to put yourself first and set boundaries, or you'll find yourself on an uncomfortable road trip you never wanted to be on - "Are you really feeling this connection or are you just people pleasing?"

The Answer is NO

3 min

On a new episode of "The U Problem," a caller shares her devastation after her husband of 25 years suggests opening up their marriage. Dr. P offers a dose of tough love, telling the caller to say "NO" and to stop blaming herself for her husband's desires. She emphasizes that this is a "him problem," not a "you problem," and encourages the caller to set firm boundaries for her own self-worth.

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