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Andrew Reign & Dawn

Infinite Devotion

A Sexuality , Health & Fitness and Society & Culture podcast Explicit

#77 in Sexuality · 🇺🇸 #81 in Sexuality · 🇨🇦
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About the show

Most long-term relationships end up in the same place. Two good people who love each other, living like roommates, wondering where the fire went and whether it's ever coming back. Andrew and Dawn refused to accept that this was just what love becomes. Infinite Devotion is the podcast for people who want both. Deep intimacy and intense desire, with the same person, for a lifetime, in a way that gets better instead of fading. Not as a fantasy, but as something that is actually possible, and actually lived. Andrew Reign draws from more than fifteen years of marriage to Dawn, years that started out intense and spicy, went all the way down into a dead bedroom and codependent silence, and all the way back to something even better. This is everything they walked through together to come out the other side into something neither of them knew was available. The lessons learned in that process have nothing to do with techniques or strategies. They have everything to do with who you actually are underneath all of the performing, what masculine and feminine energy actually are and why they matter, and what becomes possible when two people stop hiding and start showing up as themselves. Dawn joins the conversation when she has something to say. Between the two of them, you get both sides of what this actually looks like from the inside of a conscious, fully alive marriage. Each episode goes deep into the real causes of why love loses its heat, what it takes to bring it back, and what a relationship built on genuine polarity, embodiment, and devotion can become over a lifetime. Andrew Reign is the author of the book Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime, and a coach and teacher who works with men, women, and couples on love, desire, and conscious relationship. The book, his coaching, and every episode live at infinitedevotion.com. This is not relationship advice. This is what happens when two people refuse to settle.

Newest episodes

Marriage Is Dead, Long Live Marriage | Infinite Devotion Episode 157

46 min

Why does passion fade in marriage? Why do two people who still love each other stop wanting each other? In this episode I answer both questions, and the answer is not what you've been told. The passion didn't fade because of time, familiarity, or the kids. It faded because two people slowly went into hiding from each other. What was buried can be dug back out, and when it is, the sex and desire you had at the beginning come back on their own. You cannot force it, and you don't have to fix the relationship. This episode is for anyone in a sexless marriage, a dead bedroom, or a long-term relationship where the love is still there and the fire is gone. This episode marks the release of my book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime. It's out now, in paperback, hardcover and Kindle:https://infinitedevotion.com/book First, I pronounce the old marriage dead. For most of history, marriage was an arrangement with jobs to do: survival, property, a woman's only economy, the one approved place for sex and children, standing in the community, a promise to God. Every one of those jobs has been made irrelevant in a couple of generations. Then we tried building marriage on a feeling, and that version is dying right in front of us. If you grew up watching your parents and decided no thanks, you were reading the situation correctly. Then I hand marriage back with a new purpose. You can have deep love and intense passion with the same person, in the same marriage, and it can keep getting better for the rest of your life. I've been with my wife, Dawn, for seventeen years. We went from a dead bedroom to a marriage that's hotter now than it was in our first months, and this episode is what we found on the way. In this episode: What marriage used to be for, and why every one of those reasons is gone Why marrying for a feeling turns into two people abandoning themselves The assumption that passion has to fade in a long relationship, and why counselors,...

Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband? | Infinite Devotion Episode 156

1 hr 0 min

Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband? "I wanted to want it more. I just didn't, and I didn't know what was wrong with me." That's how Dawn describes the years her desire went quiet. This is part two of our series on desire in long-term relationships, and it's for the women. Last week was the man's half. This week Dawn and I get into hers: why her libido never actually died, what buried it, and what it has taken over the last five and a half years for her desire to come alive bigger than it was at the beginning. In this episode we get into: Why nobody has a dead libido, only a buried one The lies Dawn believed: "low libido," the infatuation stage, and what a good marriage is supposed to look like Desire as the pull, and why willingness is something else The day Dawn asked what was standing between her and feeling turned on Why slowing down is the first step, and who your body actually belongs to The Madonna-whore split women run on themselves The gasoline and the match, and the turn-ons hiding in the things you've judged Being turned on by your own life Why there's no technique, and what to do instead Speaking up, rebuilding self-trust, and the day Dawn told me she wasn't turned on by my body Next week's episode comes out Tuesday, November 10, the day my book Infinite Devotion launches. Get the first chapter free, sent to your inbox Sunday, November 8. Chapters 00:00 Part two: her side of desire 02:11 Nobody has a dead libido 04:15 We never saw passion last 06:18 Even at the worst, her body kept telling the truth 07:34 The lies Dawn believed 08:58 Desire is the pull 10:21 Her sexuality ran through me 12:29 "My hand can touch you, yours can't" 14:19 Five and a half years, and why you can't rush it 16:40 "When you come, I see God" 18:24 Why slowing down comes first 20:32 The same pull toward anything in life 22:44 Who does your body belong to? 24:42 When's the last time you pleasured yourself? 25:23 Communion and learning how to be 26:35 From wanting to...

Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me? | Infinite Devotion Episode 155

54 min

Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me?   Around 2014 I typed that exact question into Google. It started everything Dawn and I do now. This is part one of a two-part series, and it's for the men. Dawn and I get into why the pull you felt at the beginning never actually died, how desire slowly turns into obligation, and why you can never talk a woman into wanting you. Then we get practical about the half of this a man can actually control. Next week, part two: her side of it. In this episode we get into: What sex and desire were like at the beginning for us, and what that proves The "infatuation stage" assumption, and why I refused to believe it How wanting each other turns into trying to keep each other Why there's no room for desire inside obligation The night I lay in bed arguing with Dawn about why she should want me Deciding to stop asking her to want me, and to become a man she actually wants Choosing to stay, even if it never worked, and what that taught me about devotion Dawn's honest take on how most men present themselves (she doesn't pull punches) The low-hanging fruit: clothes, grooming, shoes, fitness, and getting your health checked Whether you actually approve of women being sexual beings, and the Madonna-whore split How enmeshment makes desire structurally impossible Chapters 00:00 The question that started everything 03:11 What sex was like at the beginning 06:24 Where does the pull go? 08:40 The "infatuation stage" 11:03 Can you want what you already have? 12:29 From wanting each other to keeping each other 13:31 What changed in me 16:22 Desire is something she feels in response to you 19:16 Stress, money, and the man she stopped seeing 22:03 The half you can control 23:31 The night I tried to talk her into wanting me 26:54 Done asking, becoming a man she wants 32:07 Choosing to stay 34:04 Physical attraction matters 35:03 Dawn on how men present themselves 39:14 The easy stuff: clothes, grooming, shoes 41:11 How would you show up if you were dat...

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All episodes

Marriage Is Dead, Long Live Marriage | Infinite Devotion Episode 157

46 min

Why does passion fade in marriage? Why do two people who still love each other stop wanting each other? In this episode I answer both questions, and the answer is not what you've been told. The passion didn't fade because of time, familiarity, or the kids. It faded because two people slowly went into hiding from each other. What was buried can be dug back out, and when it is, the sex and desire you had at the beginning come back on their own. You cannot force it, and you don't have to fix the relationship. This episode is for anyone in a sexless marriage, a dead bedroom, or a long-term relationship where the love is still there and the fire is gone. This episode marks the release of my book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime. It's out now, in paperback, hardcover and Kindle:https://infinitedevotion.com/book First, I pronounce the old marriage dead. For most of history, marriage was an arrangement with jobs to do: survival, property, a woman's only economy, the one approved place for sex and children, standing in the community, a promise to God. Every one of those jobs has been made irrelevant in a couple of generations. Then we tried building marriage on a feeling, and that version is dying right in front of us. If you grew up watching your parents and decided no thanks, you were reading the situation correctly. Then I hand marriage back with a new purpose. You can have deep love and intense passion with the same person, in the same marriage, and it can keep getting better for the rest of your life. I've been with my wife, Dawn, for seventeen years. We went from a dead bedroom to a marriage that's hotter now than it was in our first months, and this episode is what we found on the way. In this episode: What marriage used to be for, and why every one of those reasons is gone Why marrying for a feeling turns into two people abandoning themselves The assumption that passion has to fade in a long relationship, and why counselors,...

Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband? | Infinite Devotion Episode 156

1 hr 0 min

Why Don't I Want to Have Sex With My Husband? "I wanted to want it more. I just didn't, and I didn't know what was wrong with me." That's how Dawn describes the years her desire went quiet. This is part two of our series on desire in long-term relationships, and it's for the women. Last week was the man's half. This week Dawn and I get into hers: why her libido never actually died, what buried it, and what it has taken over the last five and a half years for her desire to come alive bigger than it was at the beginning. In this episode we get into: Why nobody has a dead libido, only a buried one The lies Dawn believed: "low libido," the infatuation stage, and what a good marriage is supposed to look like Desire as the pull, and why willingness is something else The day Dawn asked what was standing between her and feeling turned on Why slowing down is the first step, and who your body actually belongs to The Madonna-whore split women run on themselves The gasoline and the match, and the turn-ons hiding in the things you've judged Being turned on by your own life Why there's no technique, and what to do instead Speaking up, rebuilding self-trust, and the day Dawn told me she wasn't turned on by my body Next week's episode comes out Tuesday, November 10, the day my book Infinite Devotion launches. Get the first chapter free, sent to your inbox Sunday, November 8. Chapters 00:00 Part two: her side of desire 02:11 Nobody has a dead libido 04:15 We never saw passion last 06:18 Even at the worst, her body kept telling the truth 07:34 The lies Dawn believed 08:58 Desire is the pull 10:21 Her sexuality ran through me 12:29 "My hand can touch you, yours can't" 14:19 Five and a half years, and why you can't rush it 16:40 "When you come, I see God" 18:24 Why slowing down comes first 20:32 The same pull toward anything in life 22:44 Who does your body belong to? 24:42 When's the last time you pleasured yourself? 25:23 Communion and learning how to be 26:35 From wanting to...

Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me? | Infinite Devotion Episode 155

54 min

Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me?   Around 2014 I typed that exact question into Google. It started everything Dawn and I do now. This is part one of a two-part series, and it's for the men. Dawn and I get into why the pull you felt at the beginning never actually died, how desire slowly turns into obligation, and why you can never talk a woman into wanting you. Then we get practical about the half of this a man can actually control. Next week, part two: her side of it. In this episode we get into: What sex and desire were like at the beginning for us, and what that proves The "infatuation stage" assumption, and why I refused to believe it How wanting each other turns into trying to keep each other Why there's no room for desire inside obligation The night I lay in bed arguing with Dawn about why she should want me Deciding to stop asking her to want me, and to become a man she actually wants Choosing to stay, even if it never worked, and what that taught me about devotion Dawn's honest take on how most men present themselves (she doesn't pull punches) The low-hanging fruit: clothes, grooming, shoes, fitness, and getting your health checked Whether you actually approve of women being sexual beings, and the Madonna-whore split How enmeshment makes desire structurally impossible Chapters 00:00 The question that started everything 03:11 What sex was like at the beginning 06:24 Where does the pull go? 08:40 The "infatuation stage" 11:03 Can you want what you already have? 12:29 From wanting each other to keeping each other 13:31 What changed in me 16:22 Desire is something she feels in response to you 19:16 Stress, money, and the man she stopped seeing 22:03 The half you can control 23:31 The night I tried to talk her into wanting me 26:54 Done asking, becoming a man she wants 32:07 Choosing to stay 34:04 Physical attraction matters 35:03 Dawn on how men present themselves 39:14 The easy stuff: clothes, grooming, shoes 41:11 How would you show up if you were dat...

Marriage in 320 Square Feet | Infinite Devotion Episode 154

58 min

Dawn and I have lived full-time in our RV for almost two years. We live together, work together, travel together, and do all of it in a house with four rooms, thin walls, and a garden hose for plumbing. When a man heard about this recently, he looked at me and said, "You must be really good people."   We like each other, which helps. Mostly, we've gotten good at navigating discomfort. In this episode Dawn and I talk about what close quarters actually do to a marriage: the space you can't get from each other, the noise you can't control, and what this life has taught both of us about meeting our own needs without making the other person the problem. Then we stick around for a game of "who's more likely to," which gets a little spicy.   In this episode we get into: Dawn crying through a wave of grief five feet from me making breakfast, and why she didn't ask me to stop Why the biggest challenge of a small space is emotional room, more than physical room What happens to a marriage when the eight hours apart disappear The weekenders, a 10 PM golf cart parade, and recording content with a remote control car outside the bedroom wall Three nights of storms, a 300-mile tow, and the dent in the truck that reminds me not to drive exhausted Hard water, Dawn's hair, and the real logistics of plumbing a house with a garden hose The laundromat saga in Michigan's Upper Peninsula Enforced minimalism, and why we still dress up in a campground Dawn's one-word answer when strangers ask what we do for work Who's more likely to: forget things, wake the other up, get sappy, speed, laugh at a funeral, and forget how thin the walls are The recipe app Dawn and I built together The Infinite Devotion book launches November 10   CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS  00:00 Marriage in 320 square feet 04:00 Why this episode, and the game coming at the end 05:14 The biggest challenge: room for your own energy and emotions 08:13 Four rooms, one small house 09:54 The outdoors as living space 12:18 Sicknes...

Why She Doesn’t Feel Safe With You (Even Though You’d Never Hurt Her) | Infinite Devotion Episode 153

31 min

Why She Doesn’t Feel Safe With You (Even Though You’d Never Hurt Her) | Infinite Devotion Episode 153   Ask most men if their woman feels safe with them and the answer comes fast: of course she does, I’d never hurt her. That’s the floor.   Underneath it is a layer of safety almost no man accounts for, and it decides whether she ever truly lets go in his presence: whether she can tell him the truth.   People will lie to you unless they feel safe enough not to. In this episode I get into why hiding is the human default, why comfort and safety are two different things, and why the only man a woman can fully trust is one who tells her the truth when it costs him something.   In this episode we get into: Martha Beck’s year without a single lie, and why losing her marriage, career, and home felt like “safety, safety, safety” Why everyone you love has edited themselves for you, probably today The layer of fear most women carry that most men never see Comfort as the absence of friction, and safety as knowing where you stand The arm test from Diary of a CEO, and how Dawn and I use it to find what’s true in our bodies Why keeping the peace makes you untrustworthy, and why she can feel it even when she can’t name it Leading by going first, and the one sentence that makes saying a hard thing possible What it cost me to admit why I really started my old business Why the man who can’t say the hard thing usually can’t hear it either How the truth brings back the fire you had at the beginning Where to start: a journal, a friend, and one thing you’ve been afraid to say   Mentioned in this episode Martha Beck, The Way of Integrity: https://marthabeck.com/the-way-of-integrity/ Last week’s episode with GS Youngblood: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/powerful-at-work-powerless-at-home-how-to-lead-a-strong-woman   Listen to the full episode Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMER...

Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152

1 hr 11 min

Powerful at Work, Powerless at Home: Leading a Strong Woman with GS Youngblood | Infinite Devotion Episode 152   I haven't had a guest on this show in over a year. I decided I'd only bring someone on if I really wanted to talk to them, and it took a year to find that person. GS Youngblood is the author whose books I've bought and given away more than anyone else's, and when he talks to men about relationships, you can hear that he has lived every word.   GS spent seventeen years in the tech industry before a divorce left him feeling like a failure and sent him looking for a better way. Twenty years of study, and a thirteen-year relationship with a woman who carries both a strong feminine and a strong masculine, became the laboratory for his Masculine Blueprint: three elements that, embodied daily, put a man back in his masculine core and let his woman feel safe enough to open.   In this episode we get into: Why so many men run teams at work and fold the moment their woman gets upset Respond versus react, and why good intentions vanish the second the fight starts The little boy trying to get out of trouble, and where that "oh shit" feeling really comes from "I may or may not be the problem, but I am the solution," and how to take full responsibility without drowning in blame The trifecta of embodiment practice, therapy, and coaching How to feel deeply without becoming the "emotional flow boy," and what it means to hold your emotions and share them judiciously Logistical, emotional, and sexual leadership, and why all of it starts with inner clarity What to do when she asks you to lead and then shoots down every attempt The sentence his ex-wife said that took him years to fully understand: "I can do all this stuff. I just don't want to have to." Strong spine, big heart Holding her fire, setting a boundary without leaving connection, and the line between a hard truth and actual abuse Why everything she feels is accurate to something, even when it doesn't match th...

Why I'm Not Threatened When Other Men Want My Wife | Infinite Devotion Episode 151

1 hr 11 min

Dawn sat down with a list of questions and didn't tell me what was on it. We were both in tears within the first five minutes.   A few weeks ago I posted, "I don't want you to be mine. I want you to be free and choose to stay." On Facebook it reached over a million people, and plenty of them were angry. One said that giving a partner that much freedom will turn even the best person into a bully. Another asked if it meant Dawn was done surrendering. This episode answers both. It's also the first time I've told the story of what happened on a beach in Los Angeles seven months ago, when I asked Dawn to stand up.   We also get into why most men's ideas about leading are really about getting, what faith becomes once it stops being a way to avoid questions, and why male, man, and masculine mean three different things.   In this episode:  What we each love about ourselves and each other (it got emotional fast) The beach in LA, and why I asked Dawn to stand before offering her a new symbol of her surrender Dawn on finding her own wholeness and choosing to follow from there instead of from self-abandonment Why freedom doesn't turn your partner into a bully, and why I don't set boundaries on what Dawn can do Two sentences that make everything make sense: there are no contradictions, and check your premises Why your body sometimes has to learn to trust you again before you can fully trust it Walking out of Catholic education at 13, and what faith means to us now Male, man, and masculine, and what actually makes a male become a man Do I get a b*****b every day? (No. And the men who want one are giving themselves away.) Why other men seeing and wanting Dawn doesn't threaten me Marriage as a choice you make every single day The teachers who've shaped me most, and the one I've learned the most from by far     The book: Infinite Devotion comes out November 10. Join the email list at https://infinitedevotion.com to get notified when it's available!       More from Infi...

Why I No Longer Have a Love Language (It Was Lying to Me) | Infinite Devotion Episode 150

44 min

Everyone knows their love language. Couples quiz each other on it, therapists assign the book as homework, and it gets treated as the starting point of relational wisdom. In this episode I take the framework apart. Your love language is real, and it is telling you something true. It is a precise map of where your emptiness lives: the exact spot where your okayness depends on your partner's behavior.   I share my own story with words of affirmation, how the neediness underneath it played out with Dawn for years, and what finally filled the void that no amount of her words ever could. In this episode:   What Gary Chapman actually got right, and where the prescription built on top of it goes wrong What each of the five love languages confesses about where your self-abandonment lives Where the emptiness comes from, and why your partner can never fill it Three tests you can run tonight: joy or relief, what happens if they stop, and who you were really excited for when you found the quiz How my collapse into neediness pressed on Dawn's oldest wounds Why love from outside only ever lands on the performance Inner child work: the only substance shaped like the hole What love languages become when neither person needs anything   Read the full companion post on the blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/why-i-no-longer-have-a-love-language-it-was-lying-to-me   Have a question about this episode? Send it through the contact page at infinitedevotion.com and I will answer it on a future Q&A. Questions for Dawn are welcome too; she will take them on in a future Ask Dawn Anything.   If this episode was valuable to you, a five star review takes fifteen seconds and helps us reach more people. It is the only thing I will ever ask of you.     More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: ht...

How To Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149

48 min

How to Be Untriggerable | Infinite Devotion Episode 149   In this week’s episode Dawn and I dig into a word I've used for years, one that keeps coming back to me from listeners, especially men: untriggerable.   This episode is about what that word actually means to us, why most people go about it the wrong way, and what it's really taken for us to get to the other side of the things that used to set us off.   In This Episode Why the word "untriggerable" resonates with so many people, and why nobody wants to feel triggered in the first place Why we can't discipline our way into being untriggerable, and why effort and force actually work against us The real definition: being untriggerable means encountering the thing that used to upset us and having it not upset us anymore, not forcing ourselves to not react Why we have to let ourselves get triggered, fully and repeatedly, instead of trying to shut the reaction down The four survival responses, fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one has shown up differently for each of us Why the fawn response is likely the most common one in men, and how it shows up as the "nice guy" pattern Why being untriggerable is never about the moment we're in, it's about what happens next time How resisting a trigger keeps it alive, and why trying to talk ourselves out of a feeling is the same suppression that created the pattern to begin with Gabor Maté's idea that trauma is self-inflicted, meaning the event is one thing and the ongoing suffering we build on top of it is another How single-sentence beliefs get written in childhood, before language even exists, and how life keeps handing us "evidence" for them Why it can take until your late 30s or 40s for these patterns to run out of road The different way triggers show up for men and women: women often protect the physical body, men often protect the heart, and why understanding that difference matters more than fully relating to it Why "your triggers are gifts" is true eve...

The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148

52 min

The Kid Nobody Picked: An Open Q&A With My Men's Group | Infinite Devotion Episode 148   Every Wednesday morning I get on a call with the men inside Becoming a Dominant Man and answer their questions. This time I flipped it and told them to ask me anything.   They did. What came back was a mix of the light and the heavy, which is how life actually goes. My bike. My sex toys, or lack thereof. What it actually takes to prepare for a nomadic life. How you get a dog to the vet without an address. And the friend who died at 38 a few days before this call, and what that did to my thinking about power exchange, plans, and time.   The heaviest question was the one about what makes me different as a dominant man. The answer is nothing, except that I've been willing to sit down with the seven year old who got picked on all day and let him say what he never got to say. Including the part where I admitted, out loud, that I still half believe nobody likes me.   In this episode: The bike I ride and why drop bars saved my shoulders Best and worst part of RV life (same answer for both) Whether constant novelty kills novelty My two biggest challenges building a 24/7 power exchange, and why life never gets in the way of it Ten years of preparation, six months of purging, and the storage unit I now regret Why community on the road is still the problem I haven't solved Escapees mail service, Banfield, Discount Tire, and the unglamorous logistics of no fixed address Abundance as acceptance, Carl Jung, and the two year old running most men's lives Why a sailboat would be a hundred times harder than an RV The only honest answer to "where's your favorite place you've been"   More from Infinite Devotion: Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How...

Ask Dawn Anything: Your Fear Is What Drives Away What You Want | Infinite Devotion Episode 147

57 min

  We haven't done one of these in a long time, so we sat down by the fire and answered your questions. Yours, all 6,500 plus of you who follow along on email and social, and Dawn's own following too. This week is every safe for work question you sent in. The sexual ones, the kinky ones, those are coming soon to the paid platforms.   In this episode Dawn gets into: How she handles getting emotionally dysregulated without asking me to fix her, and why "help me" used to be a crutch Practicing trust and surrender when the future of your marriage feels genuinely uncertain The fear of losing this connection, and why what you're actually afraid of is never what you think it is Why "life gets in the way" is the wrong frame entirely, and what to do instead Her advice for a younger dom sub couple trying to build something that lasts How she handles public opinion, criticism, and being recognized in public Her favorite version of me that almost nobody else ever gets to see What she's had to unlearn about sex, marriage, and monogamy What she thinks couples misunderstand most about staying alive to each other over the long haul Our actual morning and evening routines, no filter How I show up for her when she's sick What to do when your partner's preferences don't match your needs, and how to tell the difference between a hard no and a freeze response The words that actually comfort her when she's struggling, and why there's no perfect sentence a man can say How she handles it when she feels like I'm dropping the ball, and why that question itself was worth taking apart And the one we get asked every single time we do one of these: when exactly did she fall from heaven   All the NSFW questions, the sexual ones, the dirty ones, the kinky ones, will be coming in the weeks ahead on Dawn's OnlyFans and inside the Infinite Devotion Community. Keep an eye out.   Dawn's OnlyFans: https://dawnofdesire.com Infinite Devotion Community: https://community.infinitedevotion.com   List...

How Good Can This Get? Leadership, Health, and Loving Her Body Better Than a Doctor Would | Infinite Devotion Episode 146

1 hr 3 min

  This week we get into one of the most practical ways I lead in our relationship: taking ownership of our health optimization. It started with a routine idea to get full blood work done and turned into a discovery that Dawn's ferritin was at seven, that I have early markers for Hashimoto's, and that Dawn carries a genetic marker (lipoprotein A) that changes how her body handles certain fats.   Along the way we talk about what it actually means for a man to lead, why individualized data beats throwing darts at a dartboard, and how being cared for this deeply lands for the one receiving it.   A few things we cover: Why circulating iron and ferritin are not the same thing, and why it matters What a standard yearly checkup tends to miss Using your own body's data instead of internet rules about "good" and "bad" foods How health optimization becomes a place to lead, and to be led Eat the chip   Function Health  We are not affiliated with Function Health in any way (yet, but if anyone from Function sees this...call me!) I just love what it's done for us and want to share it. They have a referral program that gives anyone who signs up an extra $25 discount, and gives us a $25 credit in return. Click here to join Function with $25 off your first year   If you sign up and learn something helpful about yourself, come tell us. We’d love to hear it.     Links: Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources All of our courses and offerings: https://infinitedevotion.com/store Becoming a Dominant Man: https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion   Connect Instagram: @_infinitedevotion YouTube: @infinitedevotion  •  • More writing on the blog CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:   00:00 Welcome Back Lakeside 01:11 Leading Through Health 02:50 Ferritin Wake Up Call 07:37 Taking Charge of Care 10:35 Function Health Discovery 14:27 AI Powered Tracking 2...

The Newest Version of You Is the Most Authentic One | Infinite Devotion Episode 145 

1 hr 15 min

  The first version of us you ever saw was the least authentic version of us you'll ever see. Same goes for you, if you’re doing the work and going inward in your life. Every new thing that surfaces as you shed conditioning is truer than what came before it, which means the person your partner is becoming is more real than the one they used to be.   Dawn joined me for this one, and we recorded outside by a lake in northern Wisconsin. Bugs, birds, wind, squeaky lawn chairs, all of it. Slowest, easiest conversation we've had on here in a long time.   What we get into: Where we've been since April (Grand Canyon, Page, southern Utah, Moab, Yellowstone, the Black Hills) and why moving weekly burned me out Why I've been pivoting away from the dominant/submissive framing, and why none of the teaching actually changes The version of you that lives in everyone else's mind, and what happens when you stop matching it What it means when someone else's life makes you think "how dare they" Permission versus acceptance, and why permission can't be used as a tool to pry something out of your partner Why intimacy and sex are not the same word One year of adult content: what surprised us, what Dawn found in it, and what I'm still working out for myself   We'll probably do more of these outside.   If this one lands for you, take five seconds and leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify, or drop a comment on YouTube. It's the only thing I ask in return for everything we give away, and it's what puts this in front of more people.   Links: Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources All of our courses and offerings: https://infinitedevotion.com/store Becoming a Dominant Man: https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion YouTube: https://youtube.com/@infinitedevotion   Connect Instagram: @_infinitedevotion YouTube: @infinitedevotion More writing on the blog   CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:   00:00 Lak...

Love and Sex in Relationships Can Be Easy | Infinite Devotion Episode 144

55 min

  Most couples who have been together a decade or two are not fighting. They are holding their breath. Somewhere along the way the relationship became a landmine map, a whole terrain of subjects you don't raise, tones you don't use, days you don't bring up money. Nobody signed up for that. It accumulated, one unhandled thing at a time, until the ground you could safely stand on got smaller every year.   This is part two of the abundance versus scarcity conversation, and it takes last week's idea straight into love, sex, and embodiment. Abundance is trust. Here is what that trust does once you put another person in the passenger seat, and why the couple who can find it is the one still laughing, still adventuring, and still having sex ten and twenty years down the road.   If you haven't heard part one yet, it stands on its own, but you'll get more out of this one if you go back to it after.   In this episode: Why scarcity turns your partner from a person into a supply line to be secured and monitored Two people, two brakes, one car, and why you both keep blaming the other for the fact that nothing is moving The landmine map, how it forms without anyone deciding it should, and why it explains a fading sex life better than "we fell out of love" ever could What abundance actually looks like in a man, why control is always the tell, and why he can lead, hold her, and hear a no without it landing as a verdict on his worth Why a woman's nervous system reads a man's nervous system first, and why neediness pushes away the very desire it's reaching for What abundance looks like in a woman, why the guard she built for good reasons is the thing standing between her and the surrender she wants, and why no man can install that trust for her The shift from facing each other looking for threat to standing side by side looking forward at a life of possibility Why "whatever happens, we'll handle it" is the most valuable thing a couple can own, and how it dissolves the landmin...

The Mindset That Decides Whether You're Desirable | Infinite Devotion Episode 143

42 min

This episode is Part 1 of a two part series on the single biggest factor I've found underneath what makes a relationship work or fail, and it has almost nothing to do with what you think.   Most people hear "abundance" and think money. I want to blow that idea open. Abundance and scarcity aren't financial categories, they're the lens your whole nervous system looks through before you make a single decision, and that lens is either quietly running your relationship, your body, your time, and your sense of what you deserve, or it's setting you free to actually live. In this episode I get into:   Why abundance isn't about money, it's about trust The image that changed how I think about this completely (a car with one foot on the gas and one on the brake) A real moment from my own week where I had to trust instead of fix Why people with the most money are often not the most abundant people you'll ever meet Where this pattern shows up in your time, your capacity, your trust, your health, and your creativity   Next Monday in Part 2, I'm taking this same pattern into relationship specifically, why scarcity is quietly killing sex lives and making people undesirable, and why abundance is the thing that actually makes someone magnetic. Come back for that one.   Connect with us: Podcast, blog, courses, and coaching: infinitedevotion.com Dawn on Instagram: instagram.com/dawn.of.desire Infinite Devotion on Instagram: instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Dawn of Desire adult content: dawnofdesire.com   CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:   00:00 Welcome to Infinite Devotion 02:45 Abundance Versus Scarcity 03:51 Car Brake Metaphor 06:06 Defining Abundance 09:56 What Abundance Feels Like 14:12 Personal Funk Example 21:42 Scarcity Mindset Explained 26:55 Money Is Not Abundance 32:27 Tour Through Life Areas 40:08 Take Your Foot Off Brake 41:33 Next Week Relationship Teaser 42:21 Closing and Thanks     Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Toget...

A man's path to overcoming neediness | Infinite Devotion Episode 142

53 min

Last week I went live to walk through Receiving To Give, the essay for the women. This week I'm going live again for its twin, Giving To Receive, the men's essay I published Friday. It's the most personal thing I've written, about a pattern I lived inside my own marriage for years without being able to name it: a man who gives everything and still comes up empty, because underneath the giving was neediness. This one's for the men. If you're a woman listening, there's a section near the end written just for you, and it may help you understand the man beside you in a way nothing else has. In this episode: The child support story: the years I covered everything for Dawn's daughters, called it generosity, and the quiet sentence running underneath it, now she'll love me, now she'll want me The simple test for whether a gift is really a gift: what happens when nothing comes back Why I wasn't actually a giver at all, I was oriented around getting, reading Dawn's mood every day to know if I was okay Needs versus neediness: a real need resolves when it's met, and why the ones that never resolve aren't needs at all Why sex was where this showed up loudest, and what I was actually trying to get from it The boy who learned his feelings weren't welcome, and why that closes a man's heart to survive Why it wasn't that Dawn didn't love me, it was that I couldn't receive love no matter how much of it she gave The two men in the same kitchen, same touch, and why she can feel the difference between a gift and a test The only way out: taking her completely out of the equation and learning to give yourself what you never got Why meeting that pain will feel like weakness before it feels like anything else, and why it's the doorway to real strength A note for the women watching: you were never the shortfall, and why you can't fill a bottomless hunger no matter how hard you try The whole thing lands here: what you think you need from her was never actually hers to give. The moment you...

What I Learned Watching Dawn Almost Break Herself | Infinite Devotion Episode 141

1 hr 6 min

  A couple weeks ago I wrote a blog post called Receiving to Give which you can read here: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/receiving-to-give and the response to it caught me off guard. My inbox was flooded for days. So many women told me they felt seen in a way they hadn't from anything else I've written, and it was clear I needed to bring my voice to it directly, which is what this episode is. I delivered this episode live, which gave it a special sort of energy.   I've been using the language of doing to get versus receiving to give with women for years, but I realized I'd never actually taught it outside our deeper courses and coaching work. So in this episode I'm breaking it down from the ground up, live, and taking your questions along the way.   I talk about where this language actually came from, which is watching my wife Dawn nearly run herself into the ground for years. She looked disciplined and responsible from the outside, but underneath it she was operating from fear, chasing a standard of perfection she could never let herself reach. I had to stop looking at her behaviors and start paying attention to the woman underneath them.   I get into the real diagnostic question that most women are afraid to ask themselves, which is simply, am I doing this because I want to, or because I'm afraid of what happens if I don't. I talk about what happens when that fear-based doing becomes so normal it starts to feel like responsibility instead of fear, and how that's exactly when a woman loses touch with her own desire, including in the bedroom.   Then I get into what receiving to give actually looks like in practice. Not passivity, not doing nothing, but checking in with yourself before you act so your doing comes from fullness instead of obligation. I talk about why performing feminine embodiment is just the same fear-based pattern wearing new language, and why the real practice is simply noticing, without judgment, when you've overridden your own signa...

Control Was Never Strength | Infinite Devotion Episode 140

50 min

This week it's just me, and I want to walk you through a paradox that has tripped up almost every man I've ever worked with.    I'm going to tell you that you need to lead. Lead your relationship, lead your life, take a position, hold the ground. And in the same breath I'm going to tell you that you control almost nothing. You don't control her, you don't control the outcome, you don't even control yourself. Both are true at the same time, and learning to hold both is what lets you actually lead instead of just forcing.   If you can grasp this one, it changes how you lead, how you relate to yourself, and how your woman relates to you. Take your time with it. If you're in a relationship, listen together and have some honest conversations about what comes up.   In this episode:  The three ways men fall apart when they can't hold the paradox: the man who forces, the man who flees, and the man who freezes, and why all three come from the same root of being at war with reality Why the forcing man looks strong but is actually the most afraid man in the room How everything you do to your partner, you do to yourself first, and why your relationship is always downstream of your relationship with yourself Why control, inner and outer, is always fear wearing a costume of discipline, responsibility, and standards What surrender actually is, and why it's the opposite of giving up, going passive, or becoming a doormat The river as the model for real strength: yielding to every bank while carving the Grand Canyon The hard reality I had to face about why Dawn didn't want to have sex with me, and how surrendering to it was the only thing that let me change Why letting go feels like everything will fall apart, and what actually happens when you stop gripping How to practice this in the small moments: the drink, the laptop, the phone, and the little pause that changes everything Why the strongest, most untriggerable man isn't the one in control, but the one who stopped needing...

Church Girl to Porn Star: A Life Beyond Shame | Infinite Devotion Episode 139

1 hr 1 min

Dawn is back for the second week in a row, and this one goes somewhere raw and real. This episode is about shame. Specifically, what it costs you to carry it, what it does to your relationship, and what becomes possible when you finally set it down. Andrew and Dawn have spent the last year living about as openly as two people can live. The podcast, the coaching, the blog, the Instagram, and yes, the OnlyFans. All of it is them, all of it is real, and none of it is an accident. This episode is the honest conversation about why they've chosen to live this way and what it has meant for each of them individually and for their relationship. Dawn's journey from church girl to the woman you see today is not a cautionary tale. It's an invitation into whatever freedom might look like for you, through an example of what it feels like for us.  In this episode: Why shame doesn't just hurt you individually, it cuts off parts of you that your partner can never access, and what that actually costs a relationship The shame economy and why the people judging you most loudly are showing you exactly what they've locked away in themselves What happened when Andrew and Dawn started making adult content together and why it was never really about the money The connection between suppression and sexuality, and why the bigger the shame, the bigger what's underneath it Why you can't borrow someone else's permission to be yourself, and where that permission actually has to come from The difference between living openly and performing openness, and why only one of them actually sets you free Dawn's experience going from someone who wouldn't even say the word porn to becoming one of the fastest growing creators on OnlyFans What shameless living has done for their sex life after 17 years together   This is not an episode about kink or porn. It's an episode about what happens to two people when they stop hiding.   Connect with us:  Podcast, blog, courses, and coaching: infinitedevotion....

It Was Always About More Than Dom/sub | Infinite Devotion Episode 138

1 hr 0 min

It Was Always About More Than Dom/Sub  This week marks a turning point for this podcast and for the Infinite Devotion brand. After several years as Dom Sub Devotion, the podcast is returning to its original name: Infinite Devotion. Not as a retreat from what we've built, but as a homecoming to what this was always actually about. Andrew and Dawn sit down together to talk through why this change is happening now, what Dom/sub dynamics actually taught them about themselves and each other, and why the lessons from that world have never belonged exclusively to that world. If you've been here from the beginning, nothing is being left behind. If you're finding us for the first time, you don't need to speak our language to belong here. In this episode: Why the podcast started as Infinite Devotion, became Dom Sub Devotion, and is returning to the original name What the Dom/sub container actually required of each of them individually, and what it taught them that has nothing to do with labels or lifestyle The shame economy inside the kink world and why it's been a ceiling on the reach of this work Why depth is the only thing that actually changes people, and how AI and social media are reinforcing the very patterns that cause the problems people are trying to solve The full integration of Infinite Devotion, Dawn of Desire, and OnlyFans as different facets of one shameless, openly lived life What devotion actually means to each of them, and why the name has kept proving itself more right the longer they've lived it This is Infinite Devotion. Welcome back, and welcome in.   Connect with us:  Podcast, blog, courses, and coaching: infinitedevotion.com Dawn on Instagram: instagram.com/dawn.of.desire Infinite Devotion on Instagram: instagram.com/_infinitedevotion Dawn of Desire adult content: dawnofdesire.com Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Introduction to Infinite Devotion

3 min

Welcome to Infinite Devotion. To learn more about us visit https://infinitedevotion.com Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

Why the Love and Desire Died in Your Relationship (And How to Get Them Back) | Infinite Devotion Episode 137

1 hr 10 min

Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community Why the Love and Desire Died in Your Relationship (And How to Get Them Back)   The love and desire don't die because something went wrong between you. They die because something shifted inside each of you. The relationship is just the light bulb. If it's not turning on, that's a signal, not the problem itself.   This is the most conceptually dense episode I've put out, and I mean that in the best way. I take everything Dawn and I have lived through, from one of the most sexually charged connections I'd ever felt to a dead bedroom and back to something better than how we started, and I lay out the framework that explains why any of it happened at all.   Polarity, masculine energy, feminine energy. These aren't tools you deploy. They're a way of understanding what's already happening inside you. And when you understand them, you stop trying to fix the wrong thing.       CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:   00:00 Welcome and Mission 02:57 Why Polarity Matters 07:01 Polarity Is Not a Tool 07:43 Sexual vs Emotional Energy 14:32 Battery and Lightbulb Model 20:54 New Relationship Energy 26:41 Internal Polarity Basics 33:08 Masculine Expression in Men 37:13 Inverted Masculine Patterns 40:30 Feminine Expression and Inversion 50:32 Ceiling Fan Polarity Metaphor 57:51 Root Causes and Blocked Energy 01:03:42 Practical Steps to Realign 01:08:57 Closing and Next Steps   Find more from us at https://infinitedevotion.com Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

How the Lack of Masculine Presence Taught Her to Control Everything | Infinite Devotion Episode 136

48 min

Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community Last week I talked about killing the nice guy. This week I'm speaking to the other side of the same wound. When masculine presence is absent from a relationship, a woman fills the space the only way she knows how. She takes control. Of everything. This episode is about why she does that, where it comes from, and what it actually takes to create the conditions where she can start to let go. I'm drawing directly from Dawn's and my 17 years together, including the patterns that nearly killed our relationship and the slow, unglamorous work that turned it into something neither of us could have built alone. In this episode:  Why the wounded masculine and wounded feminine mirror each other in polarity inversion Why healing looks fundamentally different for men and women, and why that asymmetry matters The concept of existential vulnerability, and why a woman's healed state requires a kind of courage that men rarely have to face Why "a healed woman doesn't exist without a healed man" isn't codependency, it's physics Dawn's story: the rigid religious upbringing, the self-abandonment that got rewarded as obedience, and the lie her whole life was built around Why the control pattern runs all the way down to survival, and why telling her to "just let go" is like telling an angry person to calm down What it actually means to hold her, not with promises, but with presence she can feel Why this process is slow, what it looks like in real time, and why it's worth every bit of it       CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:   00:00 Nice Guy Recap 02:10 Polarity Inversion Explained 03:54 Control Patterns and Stress 07:16 Why Surrender Is Hard 08:34 Hold Her Not Fix Her 13:14 Modern Roots of Distrust 19:31 Self Sabotage in Love 20:58 Childhood Conditioning and Perfection 31:36 Life Built on a Lie 36:19 Why Letting Go Feels Unsafe 40:10 Safety Takes Years 43:34 Grief and Being Held 46:29 Healing T...

How I Killed My Inner Nice Guy and Made Her Want Me Again | Infinite Devotion Episode 135

57 min

Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community There was a version of me that did everything right. Generous, patient, never complained. Worked hard, provided, put her needs first. And Dawn hadn't truly desired me in years. This episode is about why.   In this episode, I go completely off-script to share a stretch of my marriage to Dawn where, by my own account, I didn't exist. Not in the way that matters.    I was there physically, going through the motions, doing all the things, but there was no actual person inside of it. Just a performance. A shape-shifting, approval-seeking, endlessly accommodating version of a man trying to earn something he could never earn his way to.   I share what it actually cost me, what it looked like from inside the marriage, and the specific moment of humiliation that finally cracked something open.    This isn't relationship advice. It's an honest account of what it took to go from a man Dawn could only tolerate to a man she actually craves. The difference wasn't a technique. It was becoming a real person.       IN THIS EPISODE: The Noble Corpse: Why self-sacrifice doesn't make you generous or devoted. It makes you dead. The Performance Trap: Why being a "good guy" can leave you feeling completely empty and unlovable at the same time. The Humiliation Choice: The moment I realized I was trying to talk Dawn into wanting me, and what that moment actually meant. The False Blueprint: Why constructing a new and improved false self (the dominant man, the stoic man) doesn't fix anything. The Empty Home: Why your wife's lack of desire for you might have nothing to do with her, and everything to do with the fact that there's no one home inside your body.   Find more from Andrew & Dawn on Instagram at https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion  Or at https://infinitedevotion.com   CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS:   00:00 Off Script Confession 01:59 The Missing Self 05:49 Approval Based Identity 11:07...

Why She Shuts Down Around You (And What You're Doing to Cause It) | Infinite Devotion Episode 134

42 min

Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://www.infinitedevotion.com/community Why She Shuts Down Around You (And What You're Doing to Cause It)   She used to bring you everything. Now she barely brings you anything. And you can feel it, even if you can't name what changed.   In this episode, Andrew makes a case that most men aren't going to want to hear: the way she's showing up emotionally right now is largely a response to how safe you've made it for her to feel around you.   Not because you're a bad person. Because you were never taught that emotions make sense, and so you've been, mostly unconsciously, telling her that only some of hers are acceptable to you. And she learned.   What's covered: Why every emotion she feels is a 100% accurate response to something, and why the flaw is in your timeline, not in her feelings How trying to shut down the emotions you don't like also kills the desire, warmth, and openness you actually want from her The way men unconsciously teach the women they love to stop feeling openly, and what that costs both of them Where emotional repression comes from, and why it almost certainly started long before your relationship did What happens to her, to you, and to the desire between you when you start letting her feel again   This one is primarily for men, but if you're a woman who has felt yourself getting smaller around your partner, or who has stopped bringing him the full weight of what you feel, it's for you too.   Join the Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/community      Free Resources Free guides, tools & giveaways Listen & Watch Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube Work With Us All courses and offerings | Becoming a Dominant Man | Rapture | Structuring Your D/s Dynamic | Submissive Foundations Connect Instagram | Blog Andrew Reign's book, Infinite Devotion: How Love and Desire Grow Together for a Lifetime: infinitedevotion.com/book

You're Not In Love, You're In Control: Why Secure Attachment Is Still a Cage | Infinite Devotion Episode 133

38 min

Can you feel joy for your partner's joy with nothing needed in return? I use one word from the non-monogamy world to test what real love feels like. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep133&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep133&utm_content=notes_top Compersion is a feeling of wholehearted joy for your partner experiencing their own joy. It comes out of the non-monogamy communities, and I think it has something to teach anyone in a long-term relationship, monogamous or not. I define love as an unconditional acceptance of who someone is right now, needing nothing from them. Once we fall in love, most of us start to fear losing it, and that fear turns love into attachment, which is really control. I talk about why the goal of secure attachment still rests on needing your partner to act a certain way, and why people pleasing, on either side of the dynamic, still comes with strings attached. We get into why compersion can't be performed, the man who let his wife walk all over him and called it unconditional love, the guys who get triggered by her sex toy, and how I used to project my own patterns right back onto Dawn. When you stop needing them to be different, they can breathe, and they can move toward you from real desire. Love that needs nothing back is what lets devotion and desire keep growing together. Rapture is the journey Dawn and I built for couples who want that kind of power, connection and intimacy in their dynamic. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep133&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD...

What Conscious Power Exchange Actually Looks Like in Real Life | Infinite Devotion Episode 132

47 min

Founding members of our Community brought me their questions about living conscious power exchange for real. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep132&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep132&utm_content=notes_top These questions came from the first members of the Infinite Devotion Community. I start with the nice guy patterns so many of us learned from romantic comedies, and why trying to get something from her quietly turns her off. A woman asks whether leading a woman feels to a man the way carrying a childlike man feels to her. I share how Dawn and I lived through the dead bedroom years, why leading her has felt like a gift to me, and why the same responsibility burned her out. I talk about the change in our dynamic I never saw coming: learning to lead Dawn through her cycle, and what that grace did for her trust. I answer a mother of two young girls about showing submission at home, then share our favorite places from life on the road in our RV. We get into the difference between conscious power exchange and old gendered labor, and why I took on all the housework as my responsibility. And I end with how Dawn went from so vanilla she didn't know the word to the woman she is now. Every answer here comes back to the same polarity: his open-hearted responsibility and her trust to let go, lived in the real details of a marriage. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach that whole dynamic, from desire to daily life. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep132&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with And...

We Built the Community You've Been Asking For | Infinite Devotion Episode 131

44 min

Where do you go to talk about this life with people who get it? We built that place. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep131&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: The Infinite Devotion Community, real conversation and support with couples and individuals living devotional D/shttps://infinitedevotion.com/community?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep131&utm_content=notes_top For years people have told Dawn and me they feel completely alone living a D/s dynamic, and women have asked me where they can have a conversation without being flooded with unwanted pictures and DMs. So I built the Infinite Devotion Community, a space for conscious, thoughtful conversations about power exchange. In this episode I share why I built it, how it differs from FetLife, Reddit and Facebook groups, and how it leads toward the in-person events we want to host. I walk through all ten guidelines and why each one is there: share your experience, act with class, no dating or pickup, no DMs without consent, R-rated or below, protect privacy, no self-promotion, and engage in good faith. I talk about why I'm moderating it personally, why there's a small fee and how you get it back as a coupon, and the channels inside, including a thread for every podcast episode, spaces for Doms and for submissives, and Ask Infinite Devotion. If you've been living this dynamic and feeling alone in it, the Infinite Devotion Community is the place I built for you, with real conversation and access to Dawn and me. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/community?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep131&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Community:...

When the Dominant Isn't Actually the Dominant | Infinite Devotion Episode 130

1 hr 2 min

If the Dominant is not the one actually making the decisions, who is really leading your dynamic? FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep130&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep130&utm_content=notes_top This was my first live stream on Instagram, and I took it straight to a question that comes up after I teach polarity: when a submissive gives to her Dominant sexually, or he is on his knees in front of her, who is the Dominant in that moment? Positions and labels tell you nothing about who is in charge. The decision is where authority lives, and if I am navigating around her feelings or trying to manage her reactions, she is the one deciding. I also explain how consistent friction, when he is making his best effort, trains a man to anticipate and avoid her reactions until the relationship crumbles. For the submissives I talk about the fear underneath the need to get your way, and why real submission means stating your limits and then actually letting go. I answer live questions on telling your voice apart from subconscious control, why telling a controlling woman she needs to let go only makes it worse, and what happens when two people try to occupy the masculine at once. I close with how Dawn let go gradually and then suddenly, the long in-between after she put on the collar, the ego deaths she went through, and why the Dominant needs to be the one deciding. If you hold the title but she is still the one deciding, Becoming a Dominant Man is where I teach you to make real decisions, stand firm through her reactions and lead her out of control. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep130&utm_conte...

The Truth About Monogamy, Non-Monogamy, and Devotion | Infinite Devotion Episode 129

58 min

Monogamy or openness, which one is right? I think most people are defending a position to avoid their own fear. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep129&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep129&utm_content=notes_top A short answer I gave about monogamy in a Q&A has stayed with me ever since, so this episode goes all the way into it. Humans don't behave like naturally monogamous creatures, and bouncing between casual connections leaves people just as empty. I look at how monogamy gets used to lock love down and avoid abandonment, and how non-monogamy gets used to spread attachment so thin that no one gets close enough to hurt you. The language is different, and the fear underneath is the same. I also take on the myth of the high value man, and why the man chasing status has the least of it. Then I get into default monogamy versus conscious devotion: a daily choice to go all the way into one person and stay in the heat long enough for it to burn something away. Dawn and I didn't set out on this path. It came from my drive to solve one paradox: how you have intense, passionate sex with the person you love most, in a way that gets better over time. Devotion is what lets love and desire keep growing with one person over the long term. Rapture is our flagship course for couples, built from everything Dawn and I have lived inside that fire. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep129&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Communit...

How To Introduce D/s Dynamics To Your Partner | Infinite Devotion Episode 128

1 hr 1 min

You want a Dom/sub dynamic and your partner doesn't know it yet. How do you bring it up? FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep128&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires realhttps://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep128&utm_content=notes_top In 2018 I asked Dawn to be my submissive almost on a whim, and I hadn't prepared for anything after those words left my mouth. In this episode I walk through what I wish I had done first, whether you want to lead or to submit. Get clear on what you're asking for, separate your desire from what you hope it will fix, and know the difference between a fantasy and the life you actually live. Then look honestly at your own history with power, and at how urgent this feels. For the men, I ask whether you truly want to lead, and whether you have the self-leadership she would be surrendering to. For the women, I ask whether you're trying to escape yourself, whether you trust him to lead, and whether you've been the one in control. Then we get into the conversation itself: timing, sobriety, taking it in pieces, no ultimatums, and handing the lead to the Dominant once it begins. It took Dawn a month to say yes, and I close with the question I never asked myself: what will you do if they say no? Once the conversation opens, the two of you have to build something real together: what the dynamic means, how far it reaches, and the agreements that make it safe to step into. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building yours. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep128&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery co...

You Can't Submit and Stay in Charge at the Same Time | Infinite Devotion Episode 127

39 min

How do you feel submissive when your whole life asks you to be in control? I think it's the wrong question. FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifestohttps://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep127&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of controlhttps://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep127&utm_content=notes_top Most of the messages I get come from women asking how to feel submissive after a day of running everything at work and at home. In this episode I answer it directly: you can't be in control and submissive at the same time, because they're opposites. Submission is being the one who isn't deciding. The better question is why you need to control everything, and whether you have the capacity to trust. I talk about what happens when a good man is ready to lead and you won't let go: he won't force you, so he steps back, and you stay convinced men like that don't exist. We get into the choices that put you in control, the fear underneath them, and why your submission is yours to offer. Then the practical part: question everything, slow your life down, let some things drop, and learn to lead with receiving. If you can't stop running everything long enough to feel your submission, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she learned to let go of control, with the full Q&A. Watch it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep127&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/communityAll free resources: https://infinited...

9 Lessons from D/s Dynamics That Failed | Infinite Devotion Episode 126

53 min

What can we learn from the D/s dynamics that fell apart? I share nine lessons from years of coaching and from our own mistakes. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep126&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires realhttps://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep126&utm_content=notes_top Most of the time on this podcast I lean toward what makes these dynamics work. This time I share nine lessons from dynamics I've watched go badly through years of coaching, and some that Dawn and I lived through ourselves. Fear sits underneath all of them: fear of speaking up, of being vulnerable, of losing the relationship, and the compliance and quiet resentment that follow. Please use these to sit down together and find a different path, and never as a weapon against your partner. We get into why a dynamic can't live in a bubble, why casting your partner in a fantasy role leads to chronic disappointment, and how I pushed Dawn for more until I learned to let go of my timeline. I talk about why D/s exposes a broken foundation, why you can't go back to comfortably numb once you've seen behind the veil, and the damage a Dominant does when he withdraws his leadership after she has started to surrender. The last two lessons are growing together and devotion as a structural requirement: the willingness to stay when all of this shows up. Most of these failures come down to a dynamic without the structure to hold fear, pacing and real life. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building one that's woven into how you actually live together. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep126&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start h...

What It's Really Like Inside a 24/7 Dom/Sub Marriage - Q&A with a Dom | Infinite Devotion Episode 125

52 min

What does a 24/7 Dom/sub marriage actually look like from the inside? I answer your questions about our real life. FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep125&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep125&utm_content=notes_top This time I set the advice aside and let you into our life. Dawn has worn my collar for seven years, and we've been married for fifteen, so we've still spent more of our marriage outside the dynamic than inside it. I answer the questions you sent: my dream playroom, how I regulate my nervous system when Dawn is going through something, what it was like when she wanted to start an OnlyFans, and whether I care that some people call me a cuck. We get into how I keep leading when Dawn is having a hard time, and what happened when I was the one stuck in bed. I talk about meeting new edges with permission and no pressure, why we never step out of the dynamic to be "normal," and how I lead a grocery run the same way I lead a scene. I also share how the spaces we live in shape her ability to relax and open, how we keep our RV beautiful, and why we stopped trying to have sex at bedtime. Holding steady when she's struggling starts with dominance as an inside job, and Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I took to build it. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep125&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/communityAll free re...

Kink or Codependency: What's Really Driving Your D/s Dynamic? | Infinite Devotion Episode 124

48 min

Is it kink that is driving your D/s dynamic, or is it codependency wearing a collar? FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep124&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires realhttps://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep124&utm_content=notes_top Almost every Dominant and submissive couple I have worked with has had some codependency playing out inside their dynamic, and Dawn and I have played out plenty of our own. I share two client stories, one where the submissive's fear had nothing to do with her Dominant and one where his sense of being Dominant depended on her submitting. Drawing on Melody Beattie's Codependent No More, I explain why codependency feels like caring when it is really about managing your own anxiety, and why D/s can give those patterns a justification to go deeper. The critical difference is that in a healthy power exchange both people keep their sovereignty, agency and consent. I walk through how codependency shows up as dominance, from bottoming from the top to rejecting who she is to micromanagement, and how it shows up as submission, from people pleasing and losing yourself to hypervigilance and overexplaining. Polarity needs space, and you have to be complete to submit and complete to lead. When two whole people choose to exchange power from pure desire, you have something real to give. If you recognized your own patterns in this one, Structuring Your D/s Dynamic helps the two of you build rules, needs and agreements that come from two whole people rather than from fear. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep124&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.c...

The Accidental Warrior: Martial Arts, Breath Work, and the Making of a Man | Infinite Devotion Episode 123

1 hr 4 min

What do martial arts, breath work and a race car have to do with becoming a solid man? My first ever follower interview. FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep123&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep123&utm_content=notes_top Robert is someone Dawn and I met in person on our travels, and I've traded messages with him for years. He's been training karate under the same teacher for almost 40 years, a teacher who learned to train in harmony with the body and the breath. Robert shares how he came through four years of depression as a teenager, the night that nearly ended his life, and the decision to take extreme ownership, burn his old life down and start again from zero. We get into why a man needs the capacity to be a monster and the self-control to keep it in check, how physical competence calms the ancient stress response, and the long exhale breathing his teacher could feel in him. He tells stories from Porsche track days, wheel to wheel racing and BJJ. Then we land on what Robert most wants men to know: all that strength left him disarmed in front of a woman's emotional storm, and building a spine is what lets you open your heart without losing your center. A note before you listen: Robert shares a story about nearly taking his own life, from about 11:20 to 15:33. Robert built strength in every domain except one: staying centered and open in front of a woman's emotions. That's the inner work at the heart of Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path I took, daily grounding practice included. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep123&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional...

Sovereign Desire: How Men Build Magnetic Power | Infinite Devotion Episode 122

42 min

Why does wanting something you don't have feel like weakness, and what changes when a man can hold his desire without chasing it? FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep122&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep122&utm_content=notes_top Last week I spoke to women about separating desire from fulfillment. This week I turn to men. Most of the problems men bring me come down to discomfort with wanting, because desire we can't satisfy feels like weakness. So we either stuff it and call it stoicism, or we grasp and get controlling and manipulative. Both cut us off from desire itself, and being a Dominant man means being sovereign over your wanting. I talk about desire as a compass, how boys get broken from their own wanting, and why so many men hit their forties feeling dead inside. We get into the difference between a magnetic man and an empty man, and between wanting her and needing her, because a need becomes pressure she will shut down under. I explain why polarity lives in the space between wanting and having, and I close with a simple practice for feeling your desire fully without being enslaved to it. Holding the tension between wanting and having is where the fire between a man and a woman lives. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach desire, polarity and intimacy inside a real dynamic. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep122&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/communityAll free r...

The Gasoline & The Match: Understanding Feminine Desire | Infinite Devotion Episode 121

41 min

What if wanting, without rushing to get, is the whole point? Part one of two, for the women. FREE for submissive women: The Self Respecting Submissive Woman, Dawn's manifestohttps://infinitedevotion.com/self-respecting-submissive-woman?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep121&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Living Surrendered, Dawn's workshop on letting go of controlhttps://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep121&utm_content=notes_top This is part one of a two-part series on separating desire from fulfillment, and this week I speak to the feminine side. Most of us learned early to stop wanting what we can't have, or to work until we get it. A woman who moves toward every desire, fixes everything and fills herself up loses her capacity to be met. I use the image of a full can of gasoline: inert on its own, a holy fire the moment the match touches it. We get into the feminine art of holding space for what isn't real yet, why so many women aren't receiving more from men, and desire as a prayer and a compass. I talk about discernment, deciding who gets to come close with that match, and why sexual desire is the path back to aliveness. And I share what I think is the most important point for women in this episode: receiving starts with receiving desire from yourself. If you're always planning, fixing and moving toward what you want, and you can't seem to relax and be met, Dawn made Living Surrendered for you. It's her workshop on how she let go of control, with the full Q&A. Watch it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/living-surrendered?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep121&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/commun...

Love and Power Exchange: Why Infinite Devotion isn't really about D/s Dynamics at all | Infinite Devotion Episode 120

49 min

Can deep love and intense sexual passion live in the same relationship? Everything we teach comes back to that question. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep120&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep120&utm_content=notes_top I recorded this one live. Everything we teach on Dom Sub Devotion comes down to integrating love and power. When Dawn and I started, we had no examples of a loving marriage that made this work, and I wouldn't accept that I couldn't have both deep intimacy and sexual intensity with the woman I love. I talk about power without love, the compartmentalized kink that eventually fades, and love without power, two people trying to please each other until desire dies. We lose the passion when we move from wanting each other to being afraid of losing each other. I share what we teach men and women, why rules and protocols alone can't make her feel anything, and why you don't have to give up your kink. The D/s part is easy. Sustainable desire takes individuality and devotion, and the work it would take to make a new relationship better is the same work that makes this one better. I close with two questions: could you be untriggerable, and could you be okay with any outcome? Bringing love and power together is the whole dynamic, and it is what Rapture is built around: how Dawn and I keep desire, intimacy and polarity growing inside one devoted relationship. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep120&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coac...

Still Learning: How My Teachings Have Evolved Through Lived Experience | Infinite Devotion Episode 119

56 min

How has my understanding of what I teach changed after seven years of living it with Dawn? FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep119&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep119&utm_content=notes_top We're nearing our 15th wedding anniversary, seven of those years inside our 24/7 dynamic, and coming into 2026 I wanted to share how my understanding of my own teachings has evolved. I start with masculine emotion. I've taught men to keep from processing all their unprocessed emotions with her, and I've watched men use that as an excuse to shut her out. This past year, as I broke open emotionally, letting Dawn in and even crying on her shoulder brought us closer. Then I share two definitions of feminine chaos, and why a woman who descends deep into her body becomes calm, still, pure potential. I talk about slowing down on the inside, catching myself tense while eating and washing dishes, and how Dawn started to relax and release big feelings once I calmed down. We get into the role fear plays in desire, and how often we're in relationship with each other's fear and conditioning. I draw a new distinction between structure and containment: the Dominant applies structure to himself and the world, and offers her containment so she can be free. And the last lesson ties it together: you heal the relationship by healing the individuals. Nearly every lesson here comes back to the man doing his own work first: slowing down inside, letting her see him, and building his own inner authority. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I built from that work. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep119&utm_content=no...

No More Mr. Nice Guy: Why Nice Guys Can't Be Dominant Men | Infinite Devotion Episode 118

1 hr 4 min

Why can't a nice guy be a Dominant man? Seven lessons from No More Mr. Nice Guy, and what they changed in me. FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep118&utm_content=notes_top No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover is on the reading list for the men in Becoming a Dominant Man, because it takes a guy out of fixing mode and into introspection. In this episode I take the biggest lessons I've pulled from it and show how each nice guy pattern works against dominance, and what integrated dominance looks like instead. We start with covert contracts, the silent deals where you give so she'll give back, and why she can feel the hidden agenda even when you can't. Then approval seeking, the feeling of being in trouble when she's unhappy, and why your power can't live inside her reaction. I talk about why your needs matter as much as hers, the difference between caretaking and caring, and why a Dominant man is kind and generous without always being nice. We get into using structure to manage her emotions, secret lives and hidden browser tabs, and why you need other men when everything you learned about being a man came from pleasing women. The last lesson ties it together: stop performing and be direct, so she gets a real chance at a no, and at an authentic yes. And I share what actually changed this in me: Dawn stopped tolerating it. Becoming a Dominant Man is built on the 12 steps I mention here, starting with total responsibility for your own life and taking care of yourself first. No More Mr. Nice Guy is on its reading list, and every Wednesday you get a call with other men doing this same work. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/beco...

From Bedroom D/s to 24/7: The Integration Principle | Infinite Devotion Episode 117

1 hr 1 min

Why does your dynamic keep slipping away the moment Monday arrives? Because it only lives in 2% of your week. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep117&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic, build the structure that makes your deepest desires realhttps://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep117&utm_content=notes_top Most couples apply their D/s principles in scenes that add up to a few hours a week, then run the other 98% of their life on completely different rules. In this solo episode I show you why that 98% wins every time. She can't carry the masculine responsibility all day and flip a switch at night, and he can't be passive all day and feel powerful in the bedroom. Compartmentalizing feels safe because the stakes stay low, and that safety is what keeps you in the shallow end. I walk through what integration means in practice: he owns final decisions and outcomes, she offers real input without covert control, and both of you stop sabotaging it. I talk about delegation versus abdication, how men hide behind "you handle it", and how women influence without it looking like control. Then I use the kids and family decisions as a concrete example, and share what happened when I took ownership of our home early in our dynamic. Integration lives in the structure you build together: who decides, who owns outcomes, how her input reaches you, and how conflict gets handled. Structuring Your D/s Dynamic walks you through building that structure for your whole life, beyond the bedroom. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/structuring-your-ds-dynamic?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep117&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/...

Are you strong enough to be a Dom? Not if you can't handle emotion. | Infinite Devotion Episode 116

1 hr 3 min

Can you be a strong Dominant and still feel everything? I don't think you can be one without it. FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep116&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep116&utm_content=notes_top So many men come into dominance believing it requires stoicism: unaffected, unreactive, stone faced. In this solo episode I come back to masculine sensitivity with a lot more experience behind me. Dominance requires solidity with openness, because you can't lead someone you can't feel. When your heart is armored she feels your absence, she can't submit into a void, and her tests are simply asking whether you are really here. I explain sensitivity as attunement, the way a fine scale reads the smallest change, and why it's half of your masculine polarity. We get into why little boys shut it down to survive, the cruel irony that the thing that got hurt is the thing you need most, and why opening your heart is going to feel weak. I talk about how a closed heart turns D/s into control and even abuse, why you should never apply force to resistance, and what healing your heart actually involves. Then I walk through what it looks like when she comes home upset and you can simply be present with her. Opening your heart without losing your spine is the core of Becoming a Dominant Man. It's the 12-step path I walked to become a man who can feel everything and stay solid. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep116&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andre...

Starting A Dom/sub Dynamic? 10 tips to help it go well | Infinite Devotion Episode 115

49 min

Starting a Dom/sub dynamic, or trying to fix one that never quite clicked? These are the ten things I wish every couple knew before they began. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep115&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep115&utm_content=notes_top Dawn and I are seven years into our dynamic, and I've coached a lot of couples through the first steps of theirs. In this episode I share the ten lessons that matter most: why one of you will always want it more, why the submissive can never lead the Dominant into his role, why going slow gets you further, and why you need to build in time to simply be human together. Then we go deeper. Why the real conversations have to happen long before any contract, why every rule needs a why, and why consent is really about access to authentic desire. If you can't both say no, what you have is codependency. I also talk about meeting resistance with curiosity, weaving the dynamic into your whole life, dating each other for good, and the one thing that matters more than any technique: just keep going. If you want the whole path laid out, from the first conversation to a dynamic that keeps getting better, that's what Rapture is. It's our flagship course for couples, built from everything Dawn and I have lived. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep115&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/communityAll free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-re...

New Year Q&A with Dawn: Trust, Surrender, and 73 Orgasms in an hour | Infinite Devotion Episode 114

1 hr 6 min

Dawn is back to open the year with your questions about trust, surrender, sexuality, and what to do when your Dominant loses his edge. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep114&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep114&utm_content=notes_top We start 2026 the way we ended 2025, together. Dawn answers how long trust took to build, what to do when you only feel calm once he's okay, and how a fiercely independent woman can submit without losing herself. We each share what we'd do if we were single and looking for this kind of relationship, and why trying to manifest a partner keeps one away. Then we get into vanilla decisions when you really want your way, how Dawn became so sexually open, and how to meet a man who has lost his edge without making him wrong. I answer the man who wants to convince his wife, and the answer is to stop trying to convince her. We also talk about the 73-orgasm session, Dawn's collar after 2,500 days, and why she stepped back from the podcast to live more of it. Every answer in this episode comes back to the same thing: two people each doing their own work so the dynamic can deepen. Rapture is our flagship course for couples who want to live that way. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep114&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevotion.com/ds-coachingThe Infinite Devotion Community: https://infinitedevotion.com/communityAll free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resourcesDawn's collars come from Eternity Collars. Use code DEVOTION...

The Final Dom Sub Devotion (of 2025) | Infinite Devotion Episode 113

1 hr 3 min

What did a year of full time travel, ego deaths and a growing business teach us? Dawn joins me to look back before our December break. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep113&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep113&utm_content=notes_top Dawn joins me again for the last episode of 2025, before I take December off from new episodes. We look back at a year that started with her stepping away from the business, and since then our following and income have doubled while she did less. I talk about doing it all myself, how feedback lands differently now that I don't need it for validation, and how life puts us through the curriculum before every course. Dawn shares what it took to meet herself this year, and we talk about why what you see of us is a highlight reel that never shows the ego deaths. We walk through our year as full time nomads, from New Orleans and Southern hospitality to Texas, Sedona, Utah, Colorado and the Mars Desert Research Station. Dawn talks about walking toward what she was afraid of, and how stepping out of shame and into her sexuality has expanded her pleasure. I share getting to know my inner child, Dawn holding me through it, and why polarity works itself out when you get closer to what's real. We close with what's ahead: in-person events, a new project for men, and more of our OnlyFans, because it's the most fun thing we do. This whole year came down to two people each doing their own work so the dynamic could keep deepening, including the weeks I was the one falling apart. Rapture is our flagship course for couples who want to live that way. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep113&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR Y...

Answering Your Toughest Questions on Dominance, Monogamy, Polyamory, Spirituality and More | Infinite Devotion Episode 112

1 hr 6 min

Why commit to one woman, how can I be Dominant without jealousy, and why can't she just let go? I take on your toughest questions. FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep112&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep112&utm_content=notes_top I asked my Instagram followers for their toughest questions, and they delivered. In this unscripted solo episode I answer them on the fly, starting with what divine means to me and why spirituality doesn't have to be serious. A woman asks why a man would commit to one woman when easy sex is everywhere, and I share the time I seriously considered walking away from my marriage, and why I realized I'd have to face the same things in myself with anyone else. Then I take on the claim that I've lost all credibility as a Dominant by letting Dawn have an OnlyFans, and why jealousy and possessiveness are fear. We get into how to decide whether to stay or leave, and why setting your blame down for a year tells you more than any deadline. I explain how I give so much without being drained, which started with putting myself first ten years ago and is the first two steps of Becoming a Dominant Man. For the woman who wants to submit and keeps resisting, I talk about believing the sky is green. And I answer how degradation play fits with open-hearted safety, whether Dawn could survive without me, and how to be a Dom when you're going through really hard times. So much of this episode comes back to a man's inner work: owning your life, taking care of yourself first, and leading from overflow. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I walked to get there. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&...

To Your Ego, Real Polarity Feels Like a Toxic Relationship | Infinite Devotion Episode 111

55 min

Everyone says they want polarity. Very few are ready for what it exposes. FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep111&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep111&utm_content=notes_top People want the passion and intensity of a dominant submissive dynamic without having to change anything about themselves. In this solo episode I talk about the uncomfortable truths of polarity, starting with the big one: to your ego, a highly polarized relationship is going to feel like a toxic relationship. As the feminine becomes uncontained and the masculine becomes uncompromising, everything gets amplified, the attraction and the wounds alike, and I share why both of you will be occasionally terrified if you're really going deep. For men, I get into why her surrender demands your integrity, why her tests are a search for safety, and why real leadership means being willing to be the villain in her story for a while. For women, I talk about how surrender feels like ego death, and how Dawn has said it felt like being at her own funeral. We also cover taking turns growing, the mirror getting sharper the deeper you go, why sameness kills the erotic charge, and the real love waiting on the other side. Holding the intensity of real polarity, without running back to comfort, is the work Dawn and I have lived for years. Rapture is where we go deeper into desire, intimacy and polarity inside a D/s relationship. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep111&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https://infinitedevoti...

How I Dom Myself: The Private Practices Behind Dominant Presence | Infinite Devotion Episode 110

49 min

Dominance starts with how I am with myself. These are the private practices I use to stay steady enough for Dawn to let go. FREE for dominant men: 12 Steps To Dominancehttps://infinitedevotion.com/12-steps-to-dominance?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep110&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Becoming a Dominant Man, the 12-step path to the authentic Dominance she can trusthttps://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep110&utm_content=notes_top This episode is about how I Dom myself: the things I do every day to stay connected to my own inner authority, so our life feels safe for Dawn to let go of control inside of. It all started with learning to say no. I share how, in December 2015, I looked at a year already spoken for and decided to win back my time, and how on January 2, 2016, right after the holiday, I quit everything I could. Then I walk you through my slow morning routine of coffee, meditation, visualization, journaling and a walk, and how fitness became a way I take care of myself. We get into listening as the purest form of presence, and how listening to others taught me to hear myself before I get triggered. I talk about building competence as quiet dominance, being willing to look dumb as a beginner, and using calendars and lists so my mind is free for leadership. I read from the daily review I look at every morning and night, with my vision and values, and share how I'm building new habits one streak at a time. None of this is a checklist. It is how I've built a frame solid enough for her to surrender into. Every practice in this episode comes back to the same thing: a man who takes care of himself and keeps his word to himself. Becoming a Dominant Man is the 12-step path I walked to build that inner strength. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/becoming-a-dominant-man?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep110&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JO...

The Price We Pay for Hiding: Why Visibility Matters in BDSM | Infinite Devotion Episode 109

1 hr 0 min

What does hiding your kink really cost you, and what becomes possible when you stop? FREE for D/s couples: 7 Tips For A Rock Solid D/s Dynamichttps://infinitedevotion.com/7-tips?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep109&utm_content=notes_top GO DEEPER: Rapture, our flagship course on devotional Dominance and submissionhttps://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep109&utm_content=notes_top After five and a half years of doing this full time, I've seen how much of the BDSM community lives in the shadows, convinced their lives would fall apart if anyone found out. Dawn and I chose to be seen from the start. I share the messages calling Dawn brave for wearing her collar in public, what happened when we put our faces on OnlyFans, and why almost everything you fear about being seen never actually happens. Then I look at where hiding starts: the childhood lesson that being yourself costs you love. I talk about the difference between being safe and being small, the decades I kept my own desire hidden, and the real costs of secrecy: lost intimacy, lost integrity, and a life split in two. I get into how hiding keeps the whole culture stuck in shame, the selfie and hashtag that started everything we do, and why secrecy gives cover to predators while privacy remains a healthy boundary. Visibility, in whatever measure fits you, is an act of leadership, and courage always comes before safety. Living your dynamic without shame starts inside your own relationship. Rapture is where Dawn and I teach the whole of it: intimacy, polarity and surrender, lived openly and lovingly. It's our flagship course for couples. Start it here:https://infinitedevotion.com/rapture?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=ds_ep109&utm_content=notes_bridge MORE FOR YOUR D/s JOURNEYDevotional D/s, start here: https://infinitedevotion.com/dominance-submissionEvery course: https://infinitedevotion.com/storeD/s coaching with Andrew: https:...

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